The sun rose slowly over Melromarc.
Naofumi stood at the edge of the field, shield ready.
Beside him, Thorfinn was upside-down, hanging from a tree branch like a bat.
"...You good?" Naofumi asked, not even surprised anymore.
Thorfinn grinned, eyes glowing faintly red. "I spent all night unlocking my vampire perks! Bro, I can now see in the dark, move faster at night, and I think I hypnotized a squirrel."
He pointed behind him.
The squirrel waved.
"…Okay, that's actually impressive."
"I'm evolving, Naofumi," Thorfinn said, hopping down. "I'm no longer an otaku. I'm an Otakula."
Naofumi stared. "Please never say that again."
[The Grind Arc Begins]
"We're wiping out the slimes," Thorfinn declared.
"...Why?"
"EXP. Gold. Loot. And because one of them disrespected me back in Chapter 2."
Naofumi sighed. "Fine. But no memes while fighting."
"Too late. I made a playlist."
And so began the most chaotic grinding montage the kingdom of Melromarc had ever witnessed.
Cue epic music (probably "Gurenge" or "Attack on Titan OP1")
POOFSPLATCRACKLE
"LIMIT BREAK!" Thorfinn yelled, swinging his axe in a flaming circle. "That one's for my waifu!"
A massive explosion took out ten orange slimes at once.
Naofumi blocked a leap from a slime with his shield and countered calmly.
"Your waifu is a keychain you sleep with."
Thorfinn spun dramatically. "AND SHE BELIEVES IN ME!"
By sunset, there were no orange slimes left in the entire region.
Even the other heroes heard rumors.
"They say the Axe Hero and the Shield Demon are wiping out all the low-level mobs…"
Naofumi carried three bags full of slime cores. "We may have overdone it."
Thorfinn popped up behind him wearing a cape made from stitched slime skins. "We are the Slimepocalypse."
Naofumi blinked. "...Where did you get that?"
"I made it during lunch. Vampire efficiency, baby."
[Blacksmith Visit: Acquired]
With their newly earned gold, they strolled into the armory.
Erhard, the blacksmith, blinked at them. "You two caused the slime shortage?"
Thorfinn grinned. "We prefer the term aggressive pest control."
Naofumi looked at the shelves. "We need armor. Basic, sturdy, durable."
"I need drip," Thorfinn added. "Something dark, menacing, with a touch of Sasuke but the energy of Gojo."
"...You want eyeliner with that too?" Erhard asked.
Thorfinn blinked. "Wait. Can I have eyeliner?"
In the end, Naofumi walked out in reinforced leather armor with shield-friendly adjustments. Thorfinn strutted out in a sleek, black coat with red trim, armored boots, gloves with rune engravings, and absolutely unnecessary fang-polished buckles.
"I feel like Alucard and Inuyasha had a fashion baby," Thorfinn declared, striking anime poses.
Naofumi nodded. "It's… something."
Thorfinn whispered, "Next stop: harem."
Naofumi: "What?"
Thorfinn: "What."
[Side Quest: The Egg That's Getting Suspiciously Large]
Back at the inn, Thorfinn stared at the egg.
It was glowing faintly. The shell was starting to crack. It pulsed every few minutes, like a heartbeat.
"Naofumi," Thorfinn said seriously. "What if it's not a chicken? What if it's a dragon chicken?"
Naofumi crouched beside it. "It's almost ready to hatch. We should focus on this."
Thorfinn looked conflicted.
"But what if we also got slaves?"
Naofumi's eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"Economy, combat support, found family trope. Plus, I want a tsundere beastgirl who secretly likes my cringe."
"No," Naofumi said firmly. "One morally ambiguous decision at a time. Focus on the egg."
Thorfinn muttered, "You're no fun. The edgy reincarnated protagonist handbook said this was where I was supposed to start collecting misunderstood side characters."
Naofumi gave him a long, tired look.
Thorfinn sighed. "Fine. Egg first. Slaves later. But if this thing hatches into a goblin, I'm naming it Pickle Rick."
That Night…
Thorfinn sat alone with the egg, wrapped in his new coat like a proud parent.
"You better be cool," he whispered. "Like, really cool. Don't come out looking like a budget Digimon. I've staked my whole arc on you."
The egg shimmered.
A tiny crack split down the middle.