Early morning. Birds chirp. Sun rises. Dramatic zoom on... a glowing egg.
Naofumi leaned forward, brows furrowed.
Thorfinn stood behind him, cape billowing unnecessarily thanks to a tiny desk fan he found.
"Moment of truth," Thorfinn whispered, holding a cup of blood tea (or tomato juice, nobody was sure).
The egg cracked.
Once.
Twice.
CRAAAAACK.
Then, with a tiny squeak, TWO small, fuzzy creatures tumbled out of the shell.
"…Twins?" Naofumi blinked.
"TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!" Thorfinn shrieked, lifting one up like Rafiki in The Lion King. "We got DLC!"
The creatures were adorable—tiny griffins, one gold-feathered with emerald eyes, the other silver-feathered with sapphire eyes.
Naofumi smiled slightly. "Two monsters in one egg. That's rare. Must be fate."
Thorfinn was already crying. "I shall name them... Birb and Chadsky."
Naofumi: "No."
Thorfinn: "Too late. It's canon."
[New Party Members: Birb & Chadsky – Joined]
While Birb liked cuddling with Naofumi, Chadsky immediately bit Thorfinn's ear.
"Ahhh—he's got the soul of a warrior," Thorfinn whispered dramatically, tears in his eyes. "He's gonna grow up to bully dragons."
[The Next Grind Arc – Now with Mercy]
With their babies nestled safely, the boys went back on the road.
"Let's grind," Thorfinn said, holding his axe like he was in Monster Hunter.
"But this time," Naofumi added, "maybe don't cause another ecosystem collapse."
"I make no promises."
They cleared out low-level monsters again—but carefully this time. A few horned rabbits here, some mushroom dogs there. No full-blown extinction events.
Thorfinn experimented with his vampire powers—superhuman reflexes, enhanced senses, short bursts of night-speed.
"Oh my God, I can Naruto-run faster than light when the moon's out."
Naofumi: "You hit a tree."
Thorfinn: "I dodged the concept of trees."
[Random Bandit Encounter – Roll for Chaos]
As they made their way to a small valley, a group of armed bandits leapt out of the trees.
"Well, well, if it isn't the Shield Devil and his goth friend," one sneered.
Thorfinn raised an eyebrow. "Excuse you, I'm vampire-coded, not goth. Big difference."
"Drop your loot and maybe we'll leave you alive."
Naofumi readied his shield. "Thorfinn?"
"Oh, I got this," Thorfinn whispered, eyes narrowing. "Time to test something."
[Combat Initiated]
Thorfinn blurred forward, his axe cleaving through the first bandit's sword like butter.
The others lunged. Chadsky dove from Thorfinn's shoulder and clawed one in the face. Birb headbutted another, screaming like an angry falcon toddler.
Thorfinn pinned one of the bandits, eyes glowing crimson. "You look crunchy. I'm starving."
He bit down into the bandit's neck.
Everything froze.
Power surged through Thorfinn's body.
He felt faster. Stronger. Sharper.
Suddenly, his mind flooded with the bandit's memories—every combat technique, every move, every trick.
"I just unlocked Skill Suck 101," Thorfinn whispered. "New perk: 'Blood Memory' – absorb combat skills from blood. Yo, I'm a Vampire Copy Ninja. Call me Kakashi but with bite."
Naofumi looked mildly horrified. "You just drank a dude."
"And I leveled up, emotionally and spiritually," Thorfinn said, spinning his axe like a boss. "I am now a blood-based open-source combat software."
[Victory: Bandits Defeated. Party Unscathed. Thorfinn Now Has Bandit Kung Fu.]
Naofumi stared at him. "Are you gonna be normal about this?"
Thorfinn wiped blood off his lip with his coat. "Absolutely not."
[Later That Night]
Sitting by the fire, Thorfinn gazed into the flames.
Naofumi fed the twin griffins small bits of roasted meat.
"So," Naofumi said, "do you plan to bite everyone we fight now?"
"Only the cool ones," Thorfinn said. "Gotta curate my combat playlist."
He grinned wide, vampire fangs gleaming. "Next stop: boss monsters. I'm gonna be like a bloodsucking Mega Man."
Naofumi sighed. "I miss when you were just a weird otaku."
"I am a weird otaku. I'm just buff now."