The day began with Thorfinn kicking down the door to their inn room, eyes blazing.
"Naofumi! Wake up! I just realized we're in a fantasy RPG and we haven't learned magic yet!"
Naofumi groaned from under a pile of griffin feathers. "It's 6 AM…"
"Exactly! Peak protagonist training hours. Let's go!"
[One Forced March Later – Magic Shop, Ye Olde Edition]
The bell above the door jingled as Thorfinn practically threw himself inside.
"Teach me fireball, you beautiful old crone!" he cried dramatically, dropping to his knees before the elderly shopkeeper.
The old lady blinked. "Excuse me?"
Naofumi looked away like a parent in a supermarket with a screaming toddler.
Thorfinn grabbed her hands, eyes sparkling. "Please. I wanna shoot lasers from my fingertips. I want to scream "Bankai!" and have something happen. I want to go Super Saiyan Wizard Mode."
The shopkeeper cackled. "I don't have time today. But come back tomorrow and I'll see what I can do, little lunatic."
"YES! Mission unlocked!" Thorfinn cheered, running out with zero chill. "Quest accepted, side plot engaged, EXP pending!"
[Next Stop – Fantasy Walmart, aka the Slave Market]
Naofumi sighed. "This still feels morally weird."
"Bro, I'm a vampire. My moral compass is spinning like a fidget spinner in 2017."
They walked through the market stalls until the slave owner waved them over like a used car salesman.
"I got the goods, boys," he said, rubbing his hands. "Check this out."
He pulled back a tarp to reveal a massive cage with a tall, muscular demi-human with silver hair, wolf ears, and a scar across his nose. The dude looked like he ate protein powder for breakfast.
"This one's a rare breed. Beast-type. Level 70. Absolute unit. But pricey."
Naofumi's face fell. "We… can't afford that."
The owner nodded, "I figured. Let me show you the clearance rack."
He guided Naofumi to a line of weaker, sickly demi-human slaves.
Meanwhile, Thorfinn stood silently in front of the expensive one, arms crossed, eyes narrow.
"...His aura is giving final arc energy," he muttered. "That's a main character in waiting."
The slave looked up at him, eyes dull.
Thorfinn leaned in. "...You like memes?"
No answer.
"I'll fix that."
[Ten Minutes Later]
Naofumi returned, now accompanied by a frail-looking beastgirl with sad eyes.
"She was the only one left, but she's strong in spirit," Naofumi said.
Thorfinn gave her a thumbs-up. "Welcome to the trauma squad."
Then he turned to the slave owner. "Hey… that expensive dude? I want him."
The slave trader raised an eyebrow. "How? That one's worth more than your armor and teeth combined."
Thorfinn grinned wide. "Well, I may or may not have sold a slime tooth black market farming guide… and looted five bandit camps. So…"
He dropped a huge sack of coins on the table.
"Boom."
The slave owner looked shocked, then started the paperwork. "Congratulations, vampire maniac. You're now the proud owner of one rare demi-human warrior."
Thorfinn stepped forward and placed a hand on the slave's shoulder. "I name you... Takimaru."
The wolf-man stared silently, then gave a respectful nod.
[But Wait, There's More: The Eggstravaganza]
Just as they were about to leave, the slave owner leaned in with a shady grin.
"Hey... interested in some eggs?"
Thorfinn blinked. "...Like scrambled?"
"No no no. Monster eggs."
He pulled out a cloth-covered basket filled with glowing eggs.
"One Filolial... and these others? Dragon. Basilisk. Rare breeds."
Thorfinn's eyes widened. "Don't tempt me with gacha logic—"
"Roll the dice, boy."
Naofumi: "You JUST bought a walking boss character. Maybe chill—"
Thorfinn: "SHHHH. My luck stat is whispering to me."
Ten minutes later, Thorfinn walked out of the shop holding four giant eggs, slightly twitching.
Naofumi stared at him. "How much did that cost?"
Thorfinn, pale: "I'm broke."
Naofumi: "I knew it."
Thorfinn: "But spiritually, I'm rich."
[Party Update]
Thorfinn: Vampire Otaku, broke but thriving.
Naofumi: Shield Dad, still sane.
Takimaru: Silent but deadly.
Raphtalia: Baby beastgirl with tragic backstory.
Birb & Chadsky: Baby griffins, feral.
Four monster eggs: Ready to cause chaos.