Kifune and Kakashi were stuck in the most awkward staring contest ever. Like, seriously, it was so tense you could cut the air with a kunai. Kakashi, the village's resident genius, was someone Kifune knew pretty well—maybe even better than Kakashi knew himself. And why? Because Kifune spent his days collecting corpses. Yeah, you heard that right. Corpses. When you're hauling dead bodies around, you've got a lot of time to think. Like, for example, where Kakashi's dad was buried.Konoha White Fang's corpse has gotta have some insane loot, Kifune thought, his brain already spinning with ideas. "Alright, let's follow the procedure," Kakashi said, sounding as bored as someone waiting in line for ramen. He tossed a scroll at Kifune and walked into a tent. Honestly, Kakashi being nice would've been weirder. I mean, Kifune was basically eyeing his dad's grave like it was a treasure chest. Kifune shrugged. He wasn't about to explain himself. Let them think I'm some creepy corpse guy. With this system I've got, I'll be dealing with dead bodies for a long time. Explaining too much would just make it worse. He glanced at the scroll. It was a martyrdom order with the Hokage's stamp on it. Fancy. Half an hour later, Kifune was in the morgue, feeling kinda meh. Most of the corpses left had either white spots of light or no spots at all. After getting hyped over yellow and green corpses, the white ones were... well, boring. He plopped into a chair, trying to shake off the disappointment. Time to figure out this system, he thought, pulling up the interface. The earrings and underwear he'd gotten earlier were... uh, let's just say they weren't exactly life-changing. The real deal was the cards.
[Name: Single Attribute Random +2 Enhancement Card][Description: As a qualified Chunin, everything about him is worth learning.][Function: Randomly increases a single attribute by 2 points.][Note: Trust me, you need more of these.]
"Yeah, no kidding," Kifune muttered, pulling out a green card with a shiny "2" on it. The card felt cool, like metal, and it had this weird texture that made it seem alive. This is it, Kifune thought, his eyes lighting up. This is how I get stronger. He followed the system's instructions and activated the card. A spinning wheel popped up in front of him, with six attributes:
Body, Essence,
Ninjutsu, Illusion, Control, and Seals.
The pointer spun like crazy before finally landing on Body.[Physique +2!] Suddenly, warmth exploded through his body, like he'd just chugged a gallon of hot chocolate. His muscles felt stronger, his body lighter, and he was so comfy he almost moaned. This must be what Happy Water feels like, he thought, grinning like an idiot. He checked his stats to see the changes:
[Character: Maruyama Kifune]Age: 13[Attribute: Fire][Strength: Genin][Body: 12][Essence: 12][Ninja: 12][Illusion: 5][Control: 15][Seals: 15][Ninjutsu: Three Body Techniques][Items: Konoha Jonin Miura Ichigo Experience Card (Rare) × 1, Uchiha Clan Rare Bloodline Card (1/3), Standard Kunai × 1, Exquisite Earrings × 1, Women's Underwear × 1]
A 2-point boost might not sound like much, but for someone with a base stat of 10, it was a 20% upgrade. And it felt amazing. "We really do need more of these," Kifune said to himself. "Not because it feels good or anything. Totally professional. Yep." Next, he checked out the rare experience card with Miura Ichigo's face on it.
[Name: Konoha Jonin Miura Ichigo Experience Card (Rare)][Description: A rare experience card that lets you go beyond your limits for a bit.][Function: Combines your stats with the card's to temporarily boost your abilities, attributes, ninjutsu, and consciousness.][Note: As a Jonin experience card, it's recommended to use it before you die.]
Now this is the good stuff, Kifune thought, his eyes lighting up like a kid in a candy store. The card let him combine his own skills with Miura Ichigo's, making him way stronger for a short time. If I use this in a tight spot, I could totally save the day and look like a hero. He imagined himself pulling off some insane move in battle, everyone cheering his name. Of course, I'd have to survive long enough to use it first. Even though his job as a corpse collector seemed safe, Kifune wasn't dumb. No place on the battlefield is truly safe. Especially when you're the guy everyone forgets about until they need a body bag.
To be continued...
( note: Kifune's basically the guy who shows up after the party to clean up the mess. But hey, at least he's getting stronger while doing it. Go, Kifune, go!)
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