In Konoha, I Have Been Collecting Corpses on the Battlefield for Ten YearsIntroduction: Taro Kifune woke up and found himself as Konoha's corpse collector. "Kakashi, where is your father buried?" "Tsunade-sama, where is your grandfather buried?" "Black Zetsu, where is Uchiha Madara buried?" [Successfully touched the corpse! Obtained the Konoha Jonin Hatake Sakumo's White Fang Sword Technique Card!] [Successfully touched the corpse! Obtained the experience card of the first Hokage of Konoha, Hashirama Senju!] [Successfully touched the corpse! Obtained the Samsara Eye of Uchiha Madara, the rogue ninja of Konoha!] ... During the three great wars, people only remembered the Konoha Corpse Collector who swore to guard the bodies of his fallen comrades until his dying breath. Kakashi: "He is a righteous ninja. He ensures the dead rest in their homeland." The Fourth Raikage: "He is a respectable ninja. His dedication to defending his comrades' bodies deserves our respect." Uchiha Madara: "He's a thief! A dirty, corpse-robbing thief!" Taro: "...I'm just a humble corpse collector. Call me the 'Graveyard Shift Ninja.'" (cool name right!)
Chapter 1: AM I LUCKY OR AM I DOOMED?
Taro Kifune opened his eyes. It was raining outside, the room was damp and cold, and the flickering candlelight cast eerie shadows on the corpses lying on the cold metal beds.
"Where am I...? Wait whaa? Did I just teleport to the Naruto universe?" said the protagonist with thrill in his heart and curiosity.
A flood of chaotic memories rushed into his mind. He quickly pieced together that he had somehow traveled through time and space into the chaotic, bloody world of Naruto Uzumaki.
In this world, war, turmoil, and death were as common as ramen at Ichiraku Ramen (well, it is true though). Blood and tears were the daily special, and ninjas fought tooth and kunai for their villages.
He was a ninja—well, technically a Genin. But his real job? Konoha's corpse collector.
What's a corpse collector, you ask?
Simple. While other ninjas were out there throwing hands (and shurikens) on the battlefield, people like him were busy picking up the pieces—literally. No No don't leave, the story will get interesting, I promise.
In the ninja world, corpses were more than just lifeless bodies. They were treasure troves of ninjutsu, bloodline limits, and classified village secrets. So, every village had its own corpse collection team, and Kifune was one of Konoha's finest.
In peacetime, his job wasn't just about collecting bodies. It also involved grooming and preparing them for their final send-off. After all, even in death, people deserved to look their best.
Only after the village gave the order could families and clans reclaim their loved ones for burial.
Kifune's previous life was that of an orphan whose parents died in the war. Despite his best efforts, his mediocre talent only got him as far as Genin. This job, though grim, at least put food on the table.
The room he was in now? A morgue.
As he glanced around, a chill ran down his spine.
"Okay, being surrounded by this many dead people is officially creepy," he muttered to himself.
But then, something caught his eye. A faint white glow emanated from the corpse of a ninja with a kunai sticking out of his chest.
"Is that a... a soul?"
Out of respect for the dead (and maybe a little fear), he didn't approach immediately. Instead, he stood there, hesitating.
Sure, the ninja world had souls. Orochimaru had proven that much with his... experiments. But knowing about souls and actually seeing one were two very different things.
Suddenly, a translucent blue screen popped up in front of him. It didn't block his vision but definitely grabbed his attention.
[White Corpse, Success Rate: 90%. Would you like to touch the corpse? (Attempts remaining: 3/3 today, 9/9 total)]
Then, a simple [Yes/No] option appeared.
"Wait, what?"
Kifune blinked. Was this some kind of system? A plug-in? A cheat code for life in the ninja world?
He couldn't help but feel a spark of excitement. Sure, the ninja world was brutal and unforgiving, but with a system like this, maybe he could carve out a place for himself.
He looked at the corpse in front of him and suddenly felt a strange sense of camaraderie (a feeling of friendship and trust among a group of people who work together or share an experience).
"Hey, buddy, you don't mind if I... uh, borrow something, do you?"
Shaking his head, he quickly dismissed the absurd thought.
"Focus, Kifune. Don't let your imagination run wild. This is serious business."
Turning around, he scanned the morgue. Almost every corpse had a glowing light above it—some white, some green, and a few yellow.
He approached a corpse with a green glow. The pale face and blood-stained green vest were unmistakable. On the shoulder was the iconic red and white Uchiha fan.
"An Uchiha?" Kifune raised an eyebrow.
Usually, the Uchiha and Hyuga clans handled their own dead to protect their bloodline secrets. But this one must not have awakened the Sharingan, the legendary "eye of plot convenience."
[Green Corpse, Success Rate: 60%. Would you like to touch the corpse? (Attempts remaining: 3/3 today, 9/9 total)]
"White, green, yellow... What's next? Rainbow corpses?"
He chuckled at his own joke. The colors likely represented the corpse's "level," tied to their strength, abilities, or bloodline limits when they were alive.
Finally, he stopped at the only corpse in the room with a yellow glow.
"Miura Jonin?"
He recognized the body. So let's check the backstory for a second... Miura was a veteran Jonin who had fought alongside the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, and even served in the Hokage Guard.
"Guess even legends end up here eventually," Kifune said with a sigh. By this time Taro Kifune, our hero or corpse collector, whatever you would like to call him, realized that from now on things wouldn't be easy for him, and he has a hell of an adventure waiting for him, so he was excited to explore more.
"Well, no time for sentimentality. Let's see what you've got," he said and went on to discover more about this Jonin.
STAY TUNED...
to be continued...