Ryu stomped through Glitchopolis's neon-drenched streets, the five Patch Shards buzzing in his pocket like a swarm of pissed-off bees. The Trashatron's wreckage smoked behind him, bowling balls still rolling into glitchy gutters. Towers loomed—twisted steel and static, glitching between skyscrapers and giant middle fingers. NPCs shuffled past, some with faces stuck on "LOADING," others barking binary like drunk robots. Lira marched beside him, Waffle Iron of the Grid slung over her shoulder, oil-smeared and scowling. Gorv strode tall, axe gleaming with mech guts, no whimpers—just a low growl. Pip skipped, flaming toucan cawing, Dustbuster buzzing at his heels like a loyal mutt.
The system flickered: [Quest Update: Core Proximity Detected. Warning: Deep shit ahead—watch your back, asshole.] A pulse throbbed—below, somewhere in the city's guts.
Snarkfang pulsed, runes flaring. "Core's close, shitlord—you're gonna get fucked six ways to Sunday. I'm hyped."
"Fuck you," Ryu snapped, kicking a glitchy soda can that turned into a screaming pigeon and flew off. "No more mechs—just the Core, then I'm out."
"Keep dreaming, fuckface—something's always waiting to screw you. Stab it and let's roll."
The street quaked—not a mech, but a shadow dropping from a glitched billboard. A figure landed—armor like Ryu's but sleeker, black with purple static, a spear crackling with code. Her helm glitched off, revealing a sharp grin, eyes glowing "ERROR." [Enemy: Glitch Knight Zara (Level 45). Note: She's a bitch—good luck.]
"Well, fuck me," she drawled, spear twirling. "Another Glitch Knight? Thought I'd scrapped the last one. Hand over those shards, scrub—or I'll carve 'em out."
Ryu gripped Snarkfang. "Try it, fuckstick—my crew'll turn you into glitch paste."
Zara laughed. "That pack of dipshits? Let's dance."
Lira didn't wait—she roared, "Scrap this bitch!" and charged, waffle iron swinging. Zara parried, spear sparking—iron clanged, glitching into a pixelated blur mid-hit. [Damage: 60. Effect: Zara's rattled.] No trophy talk—just a snarl, "You're next!"
Snarkfang whistled. "Klepto's a goddamn tornado—keep her, shitlord!"
Gorv bellowed, "NO MORE SPIKES!" and lunged, axe crashing down. Zara dodged, but the blade glitched—not a shockwave, but a gravity pulse, yanking her back mid-step. She stumbled, cursing. [Damage: 70. Effect: Zara's grounded.]
Snarkfang snorted. "Big boy's got some juice—still thick as pig shit, but I'll clap."
Pip cackled, "Suck this, glow-eyes!" and lobbed his Dustbuster. It glitched mid-air, turning into a screaming vacuum drone that rammed Zara's helm, sucking code from her armor. [Chaos Triggered: Drone Disaster. Damage: 50.] The toucan dove, torching her spear arm—purple static fizzed. [Damage: 40.] Ryu grinned. "Pip's a menace—finally worth a damn."
Zara sneered, "Cute toys." She thrust her spear—Ryu triggered Glitch Goad. Snarkfang flared, runes taunting "BITCHASS" in her face. Her optics glitched, spear veering wild—hit a streetlight instead, which bluescreened and fell. [Glitch Goad Effect: Zara's pissed and off-target.]
Snarkfang cackled. "You're a fucking troll, dipshit—she's steaming!"
Her spear spun—code lashed out, whipping Ryu's leg. He grunted, stumbling. [Damage: -20 HP. HP: 60/80.] Lira leapt, iron smashing Zara's shoulder—armor cracked, static bleeding. [Damage: 80.] Gorv roared, axe slamming her chest—gravity pulsed again, denting her in. [Damage: 90.] Pip's drone buzzed her face, toucan clawing her optics—she swatted it, but the Dustbuster glitched back, blasting sparks. [Damage: 60.]
Zara snarled, "Enough!" Her spear glowed—Glitch Gambit of her own. The air warped, and her weapon tripled—three spears stabbing at once. Ryu dodged one, parried another with Snarkfang, but the third grazed his arm. [Damage: -30 HP. HP: 30/80.] The gambit backfired—her extra spears glitched out, stabbing her own leg. [Backfire: Zara's fucked too.]
Snarkfang wheezed. "She's as dumb as you, fuckface—match made in hell!"
Ryu swung—Glitch Geyser hit. The street erupted—a fountain of glitchy alarm clocks, blaring and smashing Zara's helm. One exploded, shrapnel denting her armor. [Glitch Geyser Effect: Clock Calamity. Damage: 110, Confusion +100.]
Lira charged, iron crashing into Zara's spear—snapped it in half, code spraying. [Damage: 90.] Gorv leapt, axe cleaving her chest—armor split, static gushing. [Damage: 120.] Pip's toucan torched her face, drone ramming her gut—she staggered, optics flickering. [Damage: 70.]
Ryu roared, "Eat this!" and swung—Glitch Gatling fired, blasting rubber skulls that chattered and gummed her joints. She tripped, bluescreening mid-curse. [Zara.exe terminated. +500 EXP. Level Up: Glitch Knight Rank 12. New Skill: Glitch Gash (Bleeds glitchy wounds).]
Ryu panted, blood dripping. Zara's corpse fizzed, dropping a shard-key—Core vibes intensified. [Loot: Core Key Fragment. Note: Deeper, fucker.] Lira kicked the body, growling, "Bitch's mine." Gorv flexed, axe high, grinning. Pip high-fived his toucan, drone buzzing victory laps.
Snarkfang snorted. "You're a battered shitlord, Ryu—nice rival tan."
"Fuck off," Ryu muttered, pocketing the key.
The city rumbled—towers glitched harder, a roar echoing from below. Ryu glared at his crew. "Move, fuckwits—Core's down there, and I'm not losing to this shithole."
Lira smirked. "Next one's scrap too."