Life had changed for the Mercenaries of Mayhem.
Thanks to their accidental dragon-slaying fame, they were now Border Town's most celebrated warriors. Merchants waved at them, innkeepers offered them free drinks, and random peasants whispered about their legendary battle against the Mountain Dragon (which had, in reality, involved zero actual fighting).
Unfortunately, with fame came expectations.
And that's where the problem started.
The group strolled into the Adventurer's Guild, feeling confident.
Jim stretched. "Alright, boys! Let's pick a nice, easy job today."
Bob nodded. "Yeah, something simple. Maybe some bandits or a missing cat."
Derek scanned the job board, grabbing a request. "Here's one."
Job Request: Eliminate the Demon King's Third General, Garmon the Eternal.
Jim slowly lowered his flask. "…What."
Marcus grabbed another paper. "How about this?"
Job Request: Lift the eternal curse on the village of Widows, which has been haunted for 200 years.
Bob blinked. "Uh… next?"
Bam picked one at random. "This one seems promising."
Job Request: Negotiate peace between the warring kingdoms of Veldoria and Thalmar, who have hated each other for centuries.
Silence.
Then Jim snatched the entire stack of job requests and threw them over his shoulder. "Okay, new rule: If the job requires world-saving or my immediate death, we don't accept it."
Bob sighed. "Man, I miss when we were too incompetent for serious jobs."
Derek crossed his arms. "We still are. The problem is that no one realizes it yet."
Marcus groaned. "We need something manageable. Something at our level."
At that moment, the guild official, a tired-looking woman who had clearly seen too much, cleared her throat. "There is one job available."
The group immediately turned toward her.
Bob grinned. "Is it doable?"
She hesitated. "…It's less insane than the other jobs."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "Define 'less insane.'"
The guild official handed them a job request.
Job Request: Retrieve the artifact "The Arcane Eye," created by the legendary mage Humbleball the Arcane, which is now in the hands of a powerful orc warband.
Derek exhaled. "…Okay. That does sound more reasonable."
Jim nodded. "No demon kings. No century-old curses."
Marcus tapped his chin. "And it's just orcs. We've fought orcs before."
Bob smirked. "Alright, team! Time to steal a legendary artifact from a bunch of angry, battle-hardened, bloodthirsty orcs!"
Jim sighed. "Why did you phrase it like that?"
Bam, smiling, muttered, "Majestic."
And with that, the Mercenaries of Mayhem set off on another disaster waiting to happen.