The Mercenaries of Mayhem stood in the wreckage of what used to be their home, which had somehow gone from ruined house to pile of unrecognizable debris thanks to Bob's hunting adventure.
Bob clapped his hands together. "Alright, boys. Time to fix the house."
Jim, still drinking from his flask, stared at him. "With what materials?"
Bob pointed at the wreckage. "We'll reuse what's left."
Marcus kicked a broken piece of wood. "What's left is firewood."
Derek sighed and picked up a few boards. "Look, unless you want to sleep outside forever, we need to rebuild something."
Bam, lazily drawing fire symbols in the dirt, shrugged. "Or, and hear me out… we leave it as a symbolic monument to our failures."
Jim raised his drink. "I like this idea."
But before they could argue further, footsteps echoed from the nearby road.
The group immediately tensed.
Bob whispered, "Town guards?"
Derek's eyes narrowed. "We did destroy half the market square last time."
Jim chugged the rest of his ale. "Welp. Time to go into hiding."
Without another word, they all dove behind the debris, poking their heads out like a bunch of raccoons.
A group of people approached—several armed guards and, at the center, a young noblewoman.
She was dressed in elegant travel clothes, her deep red cloak embroidered with gold trim. Her confident stride suggested she was very used to people doing what she wanted.
Bob squinted. "Huh. Don't think we pissed off a noble recently."
Derek shot him a look. "That you remember."
Marcus whispered, "Maybe she's here to hire us?"
Jim snorted. "Yeah, because hiring the town's most wanted mercenaries is a great idea."
The noblewoman stopped a few feet from the rubble, looking around. She sighed. "Is this really where they live…?"
Bob, still crouched behind a barrel, whispered loudly, "She's looking for us."
The group exchanged glances. Then, reluctantly, they all stood up.
Bob, always one to make a good first impression, stepped forward. "Uh… hi?"
The noblewoman turned to face them, her expression unreadable.
She studied them for a moment before speaking. "You are the Mercenaries of Mayhem, correct?"
Derek crossed his arms. "Who's asking?"
She tilted her head slightly. "Lady Evelyn of House Riverland."
Jim blinked. "Fancy."
Evelyn continued, "I came because I require experienced mercenaries like you, and no one else will accept my request."
Bob grinned. "Smart choice! We never turn down a job!"
Derek elbowed him. "Yes, we do!"
Evelyn smirked. "I heard about you from the town."
Bob's chest puffed up. "Ah, yes, our reputation precedes us."
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Apparently, you burned down a forest, set a rat king on fire."
The group collectively looked away.
Bam nodded. "All true."
Evelyn sighed but continued, "Still, despite all that, I know you try your best to fulfil the job."
That sentence hit weirdly hard.
The mercenaries blinked.
Marcus rubbed his chest. "Why does that feel… kinda sentimental?"
Jim wiped an imaginary tear. "She sees us."
Bob sniffled. "I do try my best."
Derek facepalmed. "Gods, she's pitying us."
Evelyn ignored them. "So, will you take my request?"
Bob grinned. "Depends! What's the job?"
Evelyn's eyes gleamed. "I need you to retrieve a legendary elixir of youth."
Bob nodded. "Sounds easy enough."
Evelyn smiled. "From a dragon's nest."
Silence.
The mercenaries just stared at her.
Jim broke the silence. "I knew there was a catch."
Marcus ran a hand down his face. "Of course it's in a dragon's nest."
Bam just nodded. "Majestic."
Bob blinked. "So… just to clarify… you want us—the guys who accidentally burned down half a town—to steal from a fire-breathing apex predator?"
Evelyn clasped her hands together sweetly. "Yes."
The group collectively sighed.
Bob groaned. "Why does this always happen to us?"
Jim patted his shoulder. "Some people are just blessed with bad luck."
Bam, completely unbothered, just muttered, "There are always exceptions."
Evelyn, still smiling, added, "If you succeed, I will grant you a new location and house—a proper base, free from the… problems you've caused in town."
That got their attention.
Bob's eyes lit up. "A real house?!"
Jim scratched his chin. "An actual roof?"
Marcus grinned. "No more sleeping under a collapsed wall?"
Derek, despite himself, considered it. "…And a place where no one will chase us with pitchforks?"
Evelyn nodded. "Exactly."
The group exchanged glances.
Bam casually flipped a burning twig in his fingers. "We don't even know if the elixir is real."
Jim shrugged. "We do know a dragon is definitely real."
Bob, looking thoughtful, finally clapped his hands. "Alright, team! We have a mission!"
Derek sighed. "This is a terrible idea."
Evelyn simply smiled as if she had already won.
And just like that, the Mercenaries of Mayhem found themselves preparing for the most dangerous job yet.