When in a very unique situation with so many unknown variables, it's imperative for one to have a cut and clear understanding of their surroundings if they have any chance of managing through if they have any hope of keeping it together. It's what most people do when in a new environment, like a child having just moved to a new neighborhood with his family.
Or in Lincoln's case, being stuck in literal Hell where it's been quite a while since he last saw his family.
After the rather traumatizing events of I.M.P's last mission with the family of cannibalistic murderers and some helpful information from the client that hired them in the first place, Lincoln decided that if he was going to stay in Hell for an extended period of time, he needed to get a good lay of the land. Seeing as he's the only human inhabitant of Hell, this was a necessary move and the married couple of M&M were happy to lend a hand in teaching him all there is to know for a new arrival. It was either that or just continue to dwell on the lasting trauma of that mission.
"So, you guys are Hellborn demons?" Lincoln asked.
He was currently in the common area, sitting on the couch and taking a lot of notes from the books he asked Moxxie and Millie to get for him, not wanting to risk getting into more trouble in Hell's streets like before. The two felt like they were homeschooling their own impling and it honestly felt really good to them, what was even more surprising was that a kid like Lincoln actually chose to learn more about Hell.
"That's right." Moxxie nodded. "See, Hell's demons are divided into two categories. You have the Sinners who once lived as humans until their deaths and once they're condemned to Hell, they take on an appearance that pertains to an aspect of the life they lived. Hence the many diverse demons you've no doubt seen outside. They're the specific cliental this company caters to."
"And then there's us Hellborns!" Millie spreads her arms wide, dropping into her husband's lap. "Born and raised right down here!"
"Hellborn demons are imps, hellhounds, succubi, incubi, and other ones that you'll notice have similar features." Moxxie continues with the lesson in demonology
Lincoln had to admit, when you ignore the fact that Hell was a place of eternal suffering for the damned, it surprisingly has a complex system of things such as how it was divided into seven rings, each representing one of the Seven Deadly sins. "And you all have free reign in the seven rings, except for Sinners who are confined to the Pride Ring where we are right now."
"Right again!" Moxxie affirms, impressed with how quickly he's picking all this info up.
"So, where does that leave me? I'm not a Sinner, so is the same said for me?" Lincoln curiously asks, pointing out the fact that he's the only living mortal soul.
"That's...a good question." Moxxie admitted. "We never really venture out to other rings."
A beer can was thrown at his face and the perpetrator was Loona who finished her fifth can. "Enough with the basic kindergarten bullshit. Place is starting to feel like school."
"This is important, Loona." Millie glared, taking the can and crushing it in her hands. "Lincoln needs to understand the way things work down here and as his caretakers, we gotta help in any way."
"In that case, I guess you two taught him about Extermination Day?" Loona raised a brow at them, and predictably, the imps became uncomfortable when that particular subject was addressed.
Lincoln hesitated a little, but showed that he did indeed know. "That's-That's when angels come down here, right?"
"Someone give him a prize!" Loona announced, always bringing down the room. Though, it was hard to blame her considering the many demons that are stuck down every year by those from Heaven. "Because so many humans get down here when they bite it and become Sinners, there's not much room in Hell. How's it fixed? A bunch of angel Exterminator angel assholes come on down every year and go all purge on us. Then, we wait another 365 days until it happens again and again and again. "Was that a good read?"
Her question, though rhetoric, really made Lincoln think. In rare downtimes like this, it gave him the chance to process the fact that there is indeed a Heaven and a Hell, that there is something to expect when someone dies. He never really wondered about that stuff, as it was more Lucy's department, Lincoln's the kind of person to focus on living in the moment rather than think on what may happen after his time passes. Now that there's legitimate proof, it paints it all rather negatively. When someone dies, it's very lucky for one to be pure enough to make it into Heaven but if they spent their whole lives being a deplorable human being or make just one slip-up, then they spend eternity in Hell, at least until Extermination. The fact that even after death, there's still the threat of being erased entirely really makes Lincoln question it all.
Hearing Mrs. Mayberry's story left some very annoyed feelings in Lincoln, seeing the unfairness of it all.
Then, the door was kicked open, interrupting the study session.
"People, stop whatever pointless crap you're doing!" Blitzo tells, grabbing a book Lincoln was reading, closing it and throwing it away.
"Hey, I was reading that!" Lincoln complained, if he had a choice, he'd pick the least impulsive boss.
"Study time's over, so pay attention to the smartest imp you've ever seen." Blitzo called everyone to gather at the meeting table where Lincoln had a seat with the imp couple.
"I don't remember a client coming in today." Moxxie voiced.
"Probably because you have little to no brains, Moxxie. But, this isn't about another hit." Blitzo walks left and right. "This is about some of the flaws of how our last little killing on Earth went down."
"Is this more of your critique on how I and I quote, "fucked up"?" Moxxie rolled his eyes as he asked the rhetorical question.
"Oh, Moxxie." Blitzo playfully pinches Moxxie's cheeks hard as if he were talking to a little animal. "I don't need to call a meeting to tell you how much of an inept employee you are, you little rascal. I do enough of that just by greeting you first thing in the morning." he slaps the back of Moxxie's head.
"He's not wrong there." Loona smirks.
With how they often interact, it amazed Lincoln that none of them have killed each other as there is a lot of discontent between all employees of I.M.P, but to be fair, just because they worked with each other didn't mean they had to like one another. Millie and Blitzo get along fine, but there's the frequent tension between Moxxie and Blitzo, and Loona just about gets annoyed by all three imps despite being spoiled by Blitzo. And to think, Lincoln used to think his family had a complicated dynamic.
"What exactly is this about, then?" Lincoln asked, to save himself from the headache of more arguments.
"Funny you should ask. Because it has a lot to do with you, buddy boy." Blitzo points at his sole human employee. "See, I've come to realize that you were way too green for your first field assignment. If only someone pointed that out beforehand or even better, suggested we put you through some training first. Probably would've saved us a lot of trouble."
"That's what I said." Lincoln remembered, knowing full well that he warned Blitzo before going to Earth.
"I distinctly remember suggesting that very same idea, sir." Moxxie glared.
"Now, now. No need to apologize for not having enough brain cells to think of it before me." Blitzo said, ignoring their protests. "It's not like I expected more from you. Just be glad you have such a forward thinking superior like myself." Lincoln and Moxxie shared annoyed glares as the head imp shared what he claimed was his idea. "So, to remedy this. I.M.P is going out for a little training of our new wet behind the ears intern. By the end of this day, you'll have the necessary skills to be a true asset to I.M.P and not just do some flashy hocus pocus shit."
"Ooh, how exciting!" Millie grabbed Lincoln's shoulder and pulled him close. "From teaching you about Hell to teaching you how to make sure you don't die in a nasty brawl! It's all going so fast!" she wailed through overjoyed tears.
Comforting his wife, Moxxie admitted that he could get behind that. "Well, I'm just glad Lincoln will learn to better defend himself when we're not around."
"Be glad you have a boss that comes up with good ideas!" Blitzo corrected.
Moxxie gritted his teeth. "For the last time, sir, it was me who thought of that, not you! All you did was recklessly throw him into the fray without even thinking of the consequences!"
"You can make nonsense up after we get to the van, Moxxie and kid, get the book just in case."
"Paranoid much?" Loona saw no reason to be. .
"Looney, trust my judgment, sweetie-pie. Papa Blitz has never steered you wrong before."
"...Oh, you seriously believe that." Loona realized after a moment's silence.
While Immediate Murder Professionals mostly conduct their business of assassinating on Earth, the crew still requires a mode of transportation to get around in Hell should the need ever arise. That's where I.M.P's official and only company van came in, it wasn't anything fancy, just a common vehicle with the company's logo spray painted on it and a few car stickers on it for decoration, but it had enough horsepower to make long trips across Hell. Seeing as he owned the van himself, Blitzo drove with Loona riding shotgun and the other three riding in the backseats.
"Is it really okay for me to go out?" Lincoln asked, anxiously glassing out the window, expecting a demon attack. "Last time I left the building wasn't a fun time for me."
"Now, Lincoln. I know your first taste of Hell didn't pan out great. But that was because you didn't have us to make sure trouble didn't go down." Blitzo said, glancing at the rearview mirror.
Moxxie begrudgingly agrees. "Well, he is right about that and it's the whole point of this training trip."
Millie chimes in. "Exactly! We need to make sure you can hold your own both on and off the clock, hon. It's all for your sake."
"Unless you prefer to get sliced in half." Loona lazily shrugs. "If that's what you're into or whatever."
"Why would anyone be into that?"
"Don't knock it 'till you try it, rookie." Blitzo teased. "Here's another bonus, you get to see how great Hell is during a drive and there are so many great sights to see, like our company's very own billboard. You saw it when we passed by, right?"
Oh, he remembered it quite well. "You mean the one that had the text translated to speech and pointed away from the building?" He could only imagine how much of a waste of money that was.
Moxxie shared that sentiment. "Which is another example of wasteful spending on your part?"
"You call it wasteful, I call it eye candy for the customers and don't play coy, Mox, I noticed you eyeing my cardboard form once or twice." Blitzo smugly smirks.
"Only to observe the absurdity of it all."
"I thought it was nice advertising." Millie honestly said.
"See? Even your wife knows hotness when she sees it. Save for when she first met you." Blitzo crosses his arms in pride, making the car go out of control, to the shock of his staff as cars nearly crashed into them and toppled over, causing horrible collisions to any unfortunate drivers that were behind the company van. A lamp post fell onto the streets, a fire hydrant was unlocked, and a whole mess of vehicles were toppled over after the ensuing crash caused by Blitzo who didn't heed to any of it.
"Sir!"
"Grab the fucking wheel, Blitz!"
"Oh, man. I think I'm gonna hurl!"
This marked a second occasion where Lincoln actually missed riding in Vanzilla, even the times he and his sisters had to push it when it broke down.
It's less life threatening than an imp demon with zero regard for traffic safety.
Hell surprisingly had many places that resembled establishments on Earth. It wasn't just places like bars, nightclubs, or other clubs that were here. But, even common establishments like a fast food place. For a team of assassins, they needed to go to a place to polish their skills and the best place for that is the firing range/sparring gym. "Ah. You smell that?" Blitzo asked his crew, who were still winded from the wild drive here. "Nothing like breathing in gunpowder in the air. Second only to the horse tracks." he nods in approval.
"It's a shooting range and a gym?" Lincoln confusedly notes.
"Imp City has a lot of cash problems." Loona shook her head at the cheap method. "You got mixed bags like this crappy place. Around the corner, there's a coffee shop that's also a convenience store."
"And it's where your training will begin, sweetheart!" Millie ruffles Lincoln hair. "This will be so exciting!"
"Don't think of this as a game, though." Moxxie advises. "We're here for training, remember?"
"Who says training can't be fun?" Blitzo then pulls the hood of Lincoln's suit up to hide his face. "Now keep that on the whole time, alright? The snow hair look might throw some heat off, but we can't risk any demons that actually have brains."
"Will a hood really work, though?" Lincoln could think of way better disguises. "Maybe there's a spell in the book to hide my appearance."
As easy as that sounded, Stolas had informed Blitzo of the more advanced spells that he felt that Lincoln wasn't quite ready for yet. "Sorry, kid. I hear that's way too much for you. Just stick close and don't look at anyone funny or else you'll lose an eye."
"What?"
"Or was it your head? I forget which." Blitzo decided to figure that out later. "Now let's roll!"
Inside was a diminutive yellow-skinned demon with only one horn and lizard scales about to open the entrance door to leave, but was swatted away when Blitzo opened it himself. The I.M.P crew followed their boss' lead and Lincoln obeyed the clear instruction of not separating from the group as he took in the inside of the place. There was a counter where a lot of guns were on display, most likely so that they can be sold to whomever was interested in purchasing, some demons were either at the range or just waiting for their turn by smoking, as promoted by the sign that allows it. At the other half of the establishment was what looked like a sparring match only both combatants had swelled up faces and blood staining the mat and all who were watching egged them on to continue the fight while holding out money.
"Are they gambling?" Lincoln asked, flinching when he heard a bone crack.
"Why else would this place be a half-sparring gym?" Blitzo brought out his own wad of cash. "Did I forget to mention that this is also where your dear plans to earn some extra cash on the side?"
"So, you only said that we came here for training as an excuse?" Lincoln surmised, feeling like a fool for actually believing that the imp wanted to help him.
"Now you're starting to get it." Blitzo grins. "M&M, you two and Loona handle the training. Daddy's gotta go bet on the one with the one eye!"
Blitzo leaves without saying anything else. "And there he goes off again. Doing whatever the hell he wants." Moxxie huffs.
"He's the boss. It's what he does." Millie claps her hand. "Now, let's start off with some firearms!"
In all of Lincoln's young life, the only firearms he ever held were water guns, ones used for video games, and toy versions that shoot foam instead of real bullets with the intent of just having fun and not to kill. Actually holding a real life firearm, like most things in Hell, that was something he never imagined of doing. When holding a gun, one holds the fate of the person its aimed at, just one pull of the trigger and the one caught in the bullet's path may very well breathe their last breath.
Moxxie may be small, but he certainly had big enough balls to handle a gun expertly like a pro. Lincoln, Mollie, and Loona wore earmuffs once he began shooting with a standard pistol. Each shot struck multiple parts of the target within the target lines and he stopped shooting and raised his goggles to see his handiwork.
"Fuck, Moxxie. Could you shoot any louder?" Even with the earmuffs, Loona's sensitive hellhound ears could still be affected.
"They don't supply silencers." Moxxie places the gun down.
"Still annoying to my canine ears!"
A nearby demon aired out his own complaint. "Could you stop with the damn noise! Trying to concentrate!"
Eyes seething with fury combined with the annoyance of the loud noise, Loona shouts with vehemence. "You don't want noise, ass?!" She stomps up to him and connects her knee to his groin, then bashes his skull into the ground. "There! Now you can't hear anything!"
Lincoln reaches a shaking hand to her. "Um, Loona? Maybe calm down a bit."
His hellhound coworker turns with a venomous growl making him back up in fright. Loona would've just threatened him regardless of him being just a kid, but looking straight at those frightened eyes of him made her features soften a little. "Not my fault. He was being a shithead." she blows a strand of her hair away.
"Then maybe just ignore those...what you just said. It's not like what they think matters to you, so why even bother?" It's a little surprising that Lincoln hasn't taken up cursing up a storm like everyone else in Hell with all the trouble he's been through. Loona didn't say anything in response, not liking it that a little kid was actually chiding her, but he did raise a good point. "Cut me some slack, alright? I get enough attitude from Moxxie?"
Speaking of, Moxxie grabbed a shotgun. "I know our boss likes to simplify what we do, but don't think you can just grab a gun and just shoot until hitting your mark. The kind of weapon used is essential, a common pistol is sometimes all you really need with the sufficient amount of ammo and can just be used for a quiet kill, without so much as a firefight ensuing. Since you'll be carrying our supplies, it's crucial to know the difference." he presents the shotgun. "This makes a bit more noise, but I like to think it's only necessary when there's more than one assailant."
Putting the earmuffs back on, they see the armed imp fire the shots while cocking the fore-end back to eject the shells repeatedly until he was fresh out and observed the wooden targets that had large holes in them. Unknown to the imps and hellhound, with each shot fired, Lincoln suddenly got flashes, he could see Martha, then Ralphie, then the ritual they attempted. The kind that was like the one Stillman made, his hand started shaking out of the blue and his legs felt wobbly.
"Kickass shooting, Mox!" Milie praised. "Those big ones got more kicks! What do you think, Lincoln? ...Lincoln?"
Millie grew concerned when Lincoln didn't respond and they saw that he had gone a little pale with his mouth slightly open as if he stopped breathing. "Lincoln!" Moxxie's call made brought Lincoln back to reality and he realized that his coworkers were looking at him with worried frowns, even Loona looked up from her phone to see. "Are you okay?"
"I-yeah, yeah." Lincoln cleared his throat. "Um, this was, uh...very informative. Why don't we move on?"
Knowing full well that he wasn't being honest with them, Moxxie considered asking him to share what was wrong, but knew that Lincoln would just keep telling them the opposite. "I think we've covered enough about firearms, let's continue hand-to-hand combat. Go wait for us."
When he was out of earshot, Millie began the discussion about him. "I don't get it. The sweet pea seemed okay back at the office."
"Trauma doesn't disappear overnight, Millie." Moxxie reasoned. "As unbelievable as it may be, Lincoln's life before all this didn't include anything like murder, infidelity, or other darker aspects of humanity. He's not only dealing with what happened, but he's also trying to understand the ugly reality of the world. Which should've only happened much later in his life. Early-to-late teens give or take."
"What? You majored in kiddie psyco-babble?" Loona remarked.
"Come on, Loona. You've probably seen it too." Moxxie argued. "He's barely managing to maintain that childlike innocence few children like him have and doesn't fake it."
If Moxxie only knew how much Loona wanted to kick his ass because of how right he was. Since he's been staying with them, Loona expected some bratty little shit like that Eddie kid. Instead, they got a normal kid who's really trying to keep it together in Hell and actually has a kindness to him that doesn't seem fake or forced, like he's genuinely a nice guy and that's just way too out of the ordinary for a denizen of Hell like her. The fact that they work together forces her to admit that and call it instinct or whatever, but she can't help but maybe help just a little.
The kid's positive traits can be annoying, but at the same time, make him somewhat like-able.
"God damn it." Loona cursed. "Blitzo picked a hell of a time to go gamble and lose."
Blitzo has been called many things.
Most who've known him personally would describe him as the most disgusting inconsiderate irresponsible two-faced backstabbing opportunistic violent individual that ever lived, among many others. To be frank, he actually wore these harsh words as badges of honor, though that didn't mean he wouldn't return with just as much ire and contempt. People he barely knew were hardly worth the effort, though, even when he would escalate it into a brawl. He still had an image to keep up.
So yes, he only made this company training day as an excuse to go gamble, making it a waste of the company's precious time. Though in his mind, this was helping the company by making money besides their usual way as an alternative means.
"Make way, bitches." Blitzo went to the front of the ring. "Got my money on the yellow stud over there!"
Another imp laughed with his friends. "That lightweight? I bet he could barely last one fucking round of beers. You're gonna lose, imp."
"Speaking from experience?" Blitzo cheekily retorted, making the other imp fume.
Blitzo seemed pretty sure of the outcome, it almost looked like he had actual faith in the guy he was betting on, except that he didn't. Faith was not a word in Blitzo's vocabulary, but cheating was. Making money through underhanded and downright dirty means was right up his alley, after all, he already had a job where he gets paid for killing people on Earth.
Compared to that, cheating isn't that big of a deal to imps like himself.
Blitzo discreetly disappears into the audience to make it over to the other side of the ring. With the patrons being mostly imps, one wouldn't spare him a second glance which made it all too easy. The round had just finished and the other guy was sitting down and had a water bottle near him, making Blitzo grin as he formed his idea. He sneaks his hand into his suit, getting only random stuff like a horse figurine, some lint he licked out of curiosity, and a small explosive, he discarded that last one by throwing it into the hands of an imp from afar. Blitzo and the patrons ignored his panicked screams and subsequent explosion to focus on their own devices.
The imp finally found what he was looking for, a little pill that he knew from personal experience will make the body go out like a candle.
Without making himself known, he grabs the bottle and uncaps it to drop the pill in, then places it back to its spot and hides when the guy grabs it and unknowingly drinks what was inside. Snickering, Blitzo rubs his hands as the chaos unfolds in front of him, the guy he just drugged started getting slow in his movements and reacts too late when his opponent uppercuts him and he goes down. A majority of the gamblers groaned in disappointment having just lost a lot of money as a result.
"Ha! You were saying?!"
His boastings earned him glares and middle fingers, but he continued laughing.
Pumped up by the adrenaline of winning, Blitzo kept up the cheating, by putting chloroform in the towels, waving a flashlight from afar, throwing in some marbles, and so on. He'd love to see if his employees will still complain once they see all the money he was able to make, nothing more pleasurable than rubbing it in their faces.
He was so caught up basking in his winnings, he didn't even notice that those very same employees had already come in nearby to observe the fighting matches. "Now, if you're trading fists instead of bullets, then it's pretty straightforward. Just keep hittin' 'em until they fall over dead!" Millie belligerently punched her opened palm, then smiled cutely. "It doesn't hurt to figure out their weak spots, either. Just take a gander at this!"
Her fellow workers of I.M.P see her step into the ring and her presence got her a lot of catcalls and flirtatious whistles.
"Woah there, sexy thing." A fellow imp said with a lecherous smirk. "This ain't the kind of place a fragile piece of tail like should-GAH!" When his wandering hand started going to her backside, she grabbed it and twisted it around, making him scream in pain and was pushed away. Millie roared a battle cry and charged at the other demon in the ring and Lincoln winced when saw how much she made short work out of him, limbs were bent in ways he didn't even know was possible. She was small in size, but proved to be more than strong enough to fight those bigger than her, all the knocked out teeth on the mat proved that point.
"Isn't she just so wonderful?" Moxxie asked, head on hand as he cast a lovestruck gaze at his formidable wife.
"She definitely knows how to defend herself." Lincoln can admit that much, even Lynn would have trouble against her. "Don't know if I could ever be that strong. I've never been very violent."
"I can tell." Moxxie accepted, not judging the I.M.P team's young friend. With Millie fighting and Loona recording on her phone, maybe now was the chance to try and get Lincoln to be more upfront, but not in a manner that would seem pushy. "Listen, Lincoln. I know you said nothing was wrong, but there is, isn't there?" Lincoln's silence was a good enough answer. "I understand, truly. It's understandable if there are...issues that have come about after what you've had to go through, but holding it in won't help. I know you feel alone, but if you ever wish to talk, well, I'm happy to lend an ear.",
Moxxie's sympathetic smile was so hard to say no to and Lincoln truly did need to speak to someone about it, though he and Millie seemed so nice, Lincoln hadn't been certain if they cared enough to hear his woes like his own parents would but now he was sure. "Moxxie, how else am I supposed to deal with it?" Lincoln nods his head towards the rest of the demons around them. "Look around. I'm nothing like these guys, guys who are so used to death that it doesn't even faze them, and yes, I know most of them are technically already dead, but you get my point. To survive here is to handle it, but I-I just can't." he sighed disappointedly. Even though he admits that he himself isn't a complete angel, same with his family and that the world isn't perfect, this level of depravity just didn't sit well with him.
His imp friend got a clearer understanding now. It wasn't just trauma that Lincoln was facing, but it was also disappointment in not having the fortitude to close his heart from it, to not feel anything at all like so many other Hell denizens. "Lincoln, you shouldn't feel so ashamed of that. Others would see it as a weakness, but not to me or Millie. Our boss and Loona, well the jury's still out on that, but that's no surprise." Moxxie became more serious. "More importantly, do you truly feel bad that Martha had to die?"
"Honestly? ...Not that much." Lincoln rubbed his head. "It's hard to explain. I am sorry that it had to end that way, but at the same time, she still tried to kill us and I'm actually thankful that she won't get to do it again." Martha was a monster, no question, but it still felt wrong to Lincoln that he felt relief that another human being was dead. "It's all just too much."
"And?" Loona surprised them when she joined in. "Sure, it's crazy to be glad that someone's dead. But, what's even crazier? Not being relieved that she didn't kill you. I mean, that proves you're way more saner than that crazy-ass bitch."
"...Loona, was that a compliment?"
"N-No!" Loona denied, unconvincingly. "Look, you're alive, right? If you and wanna bitch and moan about almost getting killed, and about some people dying, then fine. Go ahead. Being glad you didn't get your ass wasted, is that really so wrong?"
"I-No. But still-"
"She's probably being somewhere else in Hell right now, all fussy that she ended up dead and damned. It's the whole point of this place. She did have it coming, right?"
"...Huh." Lincoln never really thought of it that way. "Some demons seem to almost love it here, I didn't think of that."
"They just love that there are no consequences this time around." Moxxie points to all the bloodied and injured fighters. "Repeating the same vices that got them here tends to lose its allure down the line."
Given how random and chaotic Lincoln's life became not too long ago, it was hard to find a perspective due to how unbelievable this all was, he's always relied on logic and reasoning but here, both don't really apply. From a point of view like Loona's, who grew up in Hell as a Hellborn demon, that actually made some sense. "Hmm. Man, I may need to do some more thinking up on the roof."
"No shit." Loona smirks. "Guess you should be glad I was generous enough to show you it." she said, condescendingly.
"Heh, yeah. I really am." Lincoln chuckled, flashing her a smile.
There he goes with that good natured genuine smile.
Loona didn't realize she lost her teasing smirk or became a Loona who now sported the same kind of smile he had.
"Hey! Done with the gun show already?!" Lincoln and Moxxie nearly fell over when Blitzo came in, grabbing their shoulders.
"Just continuing Lincoln's training, sir. Unlike some imps." Moxxie crosses his arms bitterly.
"Take a look at all these winnings and try to keep that tone!" Blitzo challenged, showing all the cash he managed to win. "Just think of the wise business practices that are now possible thanks to me! Just goes to show ya, I am a kickass boss!"
"You're gonna blow it all betting on horse races." Loona all but stated.
"You know me so well, Looney!" Blitzo notices Millie in the ring. "Wait, Mills is fighting?"
"How else is supposed to show Lincoln the inner workings of a fistfight?" Moxxie then got suspicious when he sees his superior get a little anxious. "Sir, is everything alright?"
"Uuuuhh...yeah, definitely. It's just, you did tell her to maybe hold back a bit, right?" Blitzo seemed like he wanted them to say yes.
"Of course not. Why?"
The crowd gasps when they see Millie punch her opponent straight in the gut, making him stumble back and pick up his drink to rejuvenate himself, but that list hit left him more weakened than he thought and passed out. His drink was caught by another demon and wasn't empty just yet, so he helped himself to it, then face planted to the floor. Confused murmuring ensued and then came the manager, a tall imposing horned orange skinned demon with a unibrow in a referee's uniform and inspected the passed out demon by slapping him, only to get a slurry response. "Completely numb and unresponsive to everything around him." He knew exactly what was going on. "Alright, you fucking hustlers! Who here's been drugging the entertainment! Getting intoxicated is only allowed outside of the ring!"
"Fuck..." Blitzo warily looks around, he grabs Millie's hand and pushes his employees to the exit. "Alright, I think that's enough fun times, let's get on back-"
"Hey!" one imp points to the retreating group. "That sleazy son of a bitch kept on winning the moment he started betting! It had to be him!"
"Oh, crumbs." Moxxie sweated bullets.
The manager glares hatefully at Blitzo, who quickly exits with his crew, gets them in the van with his winnings and rides off.
"Gambling and cheating, sir?" Moxxie continues to find himself disappointed in having a boss such as Blitzo. They had driven for a solid 10 minutes after leaving and he was more angry that he wasted the day for Lincoln's training. "You couldn't have just been satisfied with just the first one?"
Blitzo scoffs. "As if I'm the only one that cheats in gambling. Bet you one soul that most of those muscle heads were hopped up on steroids. Besides, can you really argue with the results, Mox"? He kisses the sack of winning money sweetly.
"It's okay, Moxxie." Lincoln reassures him. "I think I learned plenty enough."
"There, see? Even the runt knows better than you." Blitzo snickered and sighed in content. "Oh, yeah. This was an insertion with no consequences whatsoever."
Millie corrects him. "It's an excursion, B."
"...Now, are you really sure? I personally think-What in the-?" There was something he saw in the door window that caught his eye.
Lonna too noticed and got heir attention. "Uh, you guys? I think we're being followed."
They looked back and saw the referee manager jogging powerfully through the streets and was catching up with them, he was all sweaty but those furious eyes of his made it obvious that he wasn't going to tire out anytime soon. "Is that the manager?! Blitzo exclaimed. "How the fuck is he gaining on us?!"
"I think the anger at being swindled is powering his legs!" Lincoln observes.
If that weren't scary enough, they see him draw a sawed off shotgun and fires, making Blitzo scream curses as he moves the van so that it wouldn't hit and the I.M.P prepare themselves. Millie instinctively grabs Lincoln to her side to protect him as Moxxie looks out the window to warn them if the manger was ready to fire again. "Shit, shit, shit, shit! Everyone, hang on, we can make a detour right-MOTHERFUCKER!" he swerved right when another car just drove up in front of them. "Hey, dumbass! We're trying to not get shot here, so why don't ya-" he stops when he sees it was filled with the other gamblers from before, each with their own guns.
"Blitz, get us the fuck out of here!" Loona screams.
"Don't you worry, Looney! Daddy's gonna make it all okay!" He drove them off as they and the manager followed after until they were at an empty alley. "Okay, the building's still a bit far from here, so we may have to lay low until nightfall."
"Fuck that noise!" Millie protested. "They mess with I.M.P, them bitches gonna get cut!"
"Usually, I'm all for that, Mills." Bill twiddled his thumbs. "Except that we left our gear back at the office, so-"
"Actually it's in the back." Lincoln's thumb was pointed backwards and they starred with wide eyes.
They went out and opened the trunk and lo and behold, there were the weapons all neatly organized. "Fuck me sideways, when did this happen?" Blitzo asked, floored.
"I loaded them this morning." Lincoln shrugged, then reached for the grimoire, seeing that it was indeed required. "I mean, this is Hell, right? I think it's important to be prepared."
"...A freaking kid knew that, Blitz." Loona commented.
"And I thank my asshole for it!" Blitzo grinned, grabbing a rifle. "We are gonna fuck shit up!"
"Hang on." Lincoln interjects. "I might be overstepping, but I think there needs to be a plan."
The manager and the other gambling demons had found I.M.P's company van, but there was no team inside, just an empty car so that could mean they ran for the hills or were hiding somewhere. The manager knew when a rat was hidden somewhere and he was going to find the little vermin that thought they could hide. But I.M.P wasn't hiding out of cowardice, they had the intent of ambushing these demons as part of a well-constructed plan devised by their youngest employee. Lincoln was atop a roof looking through binoculars to see them and Moxxie was next to him with a sniper rifle, looking through his own scope and nodding to the boy.
"Millie. Are you and Loona in position?" He contacted her through a radio.
"Waiting for you to work some magic, Linc!"
"Blitz. What about you?"
"I'm ready. This plan better work, runt."
Opening the grimoire, Lincoln flipped the pages over and stopped at one, his eyes glow and uttered the incantation repeatedly to create multiple small portals leading to the ground where the demons were, showing only their feet. Lincoln used a levitation spell to throw multiple smoke bombs through them and when they were set off, that acted as a signal for Millie and Loona to act. The smoke impaired the demons' vision, so when Millie came in, a large bashing hammer in hand. Loona made them fly thanks to her strong swinging arm and a bat. "Ambush. That's how we'll do this. I can use the book to throw smoke bombs. They won't see Millie or Loona coming."
Those were the words they remembered Lincoln saying and they were executing that part of the plan tremendously well.
Some demons managed to see through the fog and saw the two female fighters and were ready to shoot at them or pummel them into bloody pulps, until one was shot by a sniper round.
It came from Moxxie's spot on the roof, the moment that demon came into view of his scope, the imp fired.
"Moxxie can provide cover fire from a roof where I'll be with him."
A carefully calculated plan.
Now that was something Moxxie could get behind as he continued shooting, since Sinners can't be taken down so easily, he had to settle on only incapacitating them.
"Alright, Blitz. The manager's by himself. You said you wanted to take care of him yourself, right?"
"You're fucking right I do! Gonna be a lot of ass licking!"
Lincoln gave a questionable glance to Moxxie who shook his head with an eye roll. "Once again, he meant ass kicking."
In the smoke, the manager nearly tripped over some bodies and frantically looks to find a way out of the smoke and when he did so, a whistling call made him look up and grunt when Blitzo latched onto his face. "Fucking little shit stain!" the manager insulted.
"Flattery will get you nowhere!"
Blitzo jumped off when he tried hitting him, only to hit his own face instead. While jumping, Blitzo unleashed an axe that he used to slice his shotgun into two pieces. Though disarmed, the manager nonetheless still chases after Blitzo, following him into a warehouse without any light, giving Blitzo a lot more hiding places. Seeing the manager being too busy trying to find him led Blitzo to shoot with his flintlock and injuring his arm, the manager scurried away while holding his injury, eventually tripping and falling. Groaning, his eyes looked at a box filled with fireworks, the lights suddenly turn after Blitzo found the light switch and they saw that there were more boxes with the same products, showing that the warehouse was one that makes them.
Grinning maniacally, Blitzo shot once to light a fire on a firework string, the manager's eyes widened until the eyelids lowered into a deadpan expression. "Shit."
Outside, the remaining demons that surrounded Millie and Loona heard a loud bang. Turning around, they saw multiple fireworks shoot through the roof, others shot through the windows and struck them, sending them flying everywhere. Blitzo jumped out, faceplanted, then got back up to run off with Millie and Loona not far behind while the destruction continued. The entrance door fell down, revealing the manager covered in smoke, he walked out slowly and faced I.M.P. He had two options, either continue pursuing them or just walk off. He flipped them off and just strolled away, not wanting to deal with any more of this.
Lincoln and Moxxie traveled back down to meet up with their coworkers and they hopped into the van to go back to their building.
"Haha! I gotta tell ya, Lincoln! I had my doubts, but dammit! That plan of yours turned out to be more fun than I thought!"
Since there were no more demons aiming to get back at Blitzo for cheating them out of their winnings, the I.M.P team were free to go back to the office and unwind from another insane day in Hell. Blitzo congratulated Lincoln in his admittedly well crafted plan to get them off their backs and escape mostly unscathed. "It was nothing." Lincoln bashfully said.
"Actually, he's right." There were times when even Moxxie had to be in agreement with Blitzo. "Most of the time on our missions, there's rarely a plan as thought out as yours in place. Perhaps there's more you can do besides carry our weapons."
"You hear that? You're gonna be our little man with a plan!" Millie holds her hands tight with a proud smile. "Ain't that so exciting!"
Sighing in resignition, even Loona had to give credit where it's due. "Pretty smart play, Lincoln. Of course, I'd be fine with anything that'd let me kick ass on a bunch of assholes."
Lincoln scratches his head. "Well, that's probably the only time someone actually wants to touch them...right?"
His coworkers stared at him in silence making him worry that he totally messed up that attempted joke up, but them laughing out loud proved otherwise and he slowly joined in albeit a bit more reluctantly. "Oh, man! Keep this up, and you'll fit in great, intern!" Blitzo wiped off a tear in his eye and hugged the pile of money. "As a silver lining, I get to keep all this! You know, there seems to be enough to fill that room of yours with more than a shitty bed."
Lincoln understood what that meant and could hardly believe it. "Seriously? You mean it?"
"Hey. Contrary to what some imps-Moxxie-might say, I can be a pretty cool boss. But, only when my employees deserve it, of course." Blitzo playfully ruffles his hair. "Don't expect to get soft on you from here on."
Might not be much, but Lincoln's not complaining. "Whatever you say, boss." It was weird, but this little misadventure and the way they were acting afterwards, it was vaguely similar to how a zany shenanigan he and his sisters would get into usually ends. These imps and one hellhound were weird, but so was he in a way. Same with the girls. So, while he may be away from his birth family, this crazy "family" seems like a nice substitute and might just come to be on par, but who knows? "Man, I don't think my sisters will ever believe this."
That was spoken much louder than intended and it was just the amount to get Blitzo's attention.
"Sisters, you say?" Blitzo inquired, leaning in intently.
Put off, Lincoln still answered. "Uh, yeah. Ten of them."
"Ten?!"
The I.M.P team could barely hold their disbelief even when he showed proof by showing the photo of him and them. "Damn. What, your pops have a weak pull out game or something?" Loona asked.
"Crass, but a very good question." Moxxie said, perplexed.
"I didn't think humans could reproduce that many." Millie commented.
Lincoln understood their surprise, guess even demons can be blindsided. "So, what are we talking about here? Adoption? Half-siblings?" The array of questions Blitzo started flinging his way seemed a bit too invasive, though.
"No, we're all related and have the same parents. If it's about the white hair, I got it from my Pop-Pop."
"Must be a pretty cramped space if you live with that many people." Blitzo's next inquiry was way too much. "You ever walk in on them changing?"
"Ew, no!" Lincoln blanched. "They're my sisters, man!"
"How about them walking in on you while you're yanking it to some dirty-"
"Okay, sir. I think that's enough." Moxxie stopped him, thankfully. "I'm sure you need to count all the money right now."
"For once, Moxxie, that baby dick-sized brain of yours is making sense." Picking the money up, Blitzo heads to his office. "But we're done yet, Linc!"
Lincoln points to his coworkers, nervously. "Is that gonna be a thing?" He asked, gesturing to Blitzo's sudden interest in his personal life.
"Yep."
"Oh, yeah."
"An unavoidable fate, unfortunately."
Even in Hell, privacy was hard to come by. But that was strangely okay, it just made it feel more like home to Lincoln and while it was still Hell, these demons he's now working with seem to somehow make it feel a little bit better than what he initially thought. The more he thought about it, the more Lincoln realized that perhaps there's more to Hellborn and Sinner demons than he realizes besides how threatening they look. Them and Mayberry have their flaws, but everyone does whether they're alive or dead and there's always a rare showing of a gentler side. "Hey, kid. If Blitz decides to get you a TV, the one should be enough until then. There should be a channel that's just for your eyes."
Accepting Loona's suggestion, Lincoln sits on his chair and turns the television on, but he decided to stick with the channel that was showing a rather intriguing commercial.
It was a musical, showcasing a certain princess of Hell.