Life.
Death.
Whatever was in-between it.
This has always been in all of the minds of mankind since its foundation, if one were to live free of sin, free of mistakes, then they would be set to live in paradise among those that have left them in life, enjoying the luxuries rewarded to them for their faith. If one were to live life filled with unrepentant sins that they never atone for, then they risk an eternity of fire and brimstone, a suffering that never ends as punishment for their own mistakes during their time among the living. That is the belief held by many throughout history, but it's questioned how one can be damned without at least having a chance to see if they can still clean up their act. It could also be already too late for them when they are sentenced to eternal damnation down below.
Did their past actions truly determine their fate in the afterlife and is it really that for them?
Such questions are not for everyone, however. Some people merely go about their days trying to live their lives the best they can in this world while they still can, risks and all and with not that many skeletons in the closet. In the average town of Royal Woods, Michigan, this was the case for many of its residents as it was a town like any other in America.
Of course, odd occurrences tend to revolve around one very odd family, mostly pertaining to the only preteen with a full head of white hair that wasn't dyed in any way. "So, how's college life treating you?" Lincoln Loud sat in his bedroom that was a converted linen closet, sharing a skype conversation with his eldest sister, Lori.
"At first, it didn't start out as great as I hoped. But, Fairway has been so perfect." Lori told her little brother from her dorm room. "Still getting used to having a roommate that isn't related to me, but that can be worked through. Great Lakes City isn't far away either, so I can expect visits from my Bobby Boo-Boo Bear." she coos at the thought of her beloved boyfriend.
Lincoln flinched at her lovestruck expression, always gagging whenever his sister and her boyfriend get too affectionate in public or when she went into her mushy phase. "Sounds great." He knew better than to complain about it.
"Enough about that. How are things at home?"
"As well as you can imagine. Your advice to Leni has really helped her out." Taking over as the eldest sibling in the house is still a huge responsibility for Leni to bear, but she has surprisingly settled into the role well.
"Surprised the house hasn't fallen apart, to be honest."
Lincoln laughed off her playful little tease. "Come on, Lori. Leni's not the only one picking up the slack with you gone. I can promise nothing bad happens when mom and dad are out on date night."
"I'll take your word for it. How about middle school?"
"Given there are only a few classes I have with my friends, that's about the only downside." Lincoln shrugged, though remembered some other downsides to his new school life. "Could do without the jerky teacher and classmate, though and mom and dad say Lily's doing really well in preschool. Other than that, we're good. Weird things did happen, but not like that's anything new in this house."
Lori somberly sighed. "This'll sound weird, but I really miss that a little. Things are quiet here."
For Lori Loud, no matter how many times she says she'd prefer having a space where there is less of a massive ruckus, the feeling of longing for said ruckus is always present.
Lincoln and the others were also slowly trying to get used to the fact that the Loud House was minus one Loud. Sure, it was inevitable that eventually, one of them would leave. But, it's still a huge change to register for the Loud family as they've gone a lot of stuff together and one of them not being around just makes it feel a little less of a Loud house. "Things aren't really the same without you here, either." Lincoln says to her, beginning to develop a more dour mood, fit with a sad frown.
"Hey, it's not like I'm gone forever." Lori pointed out with a comforting smile. "I literally just came over for Christmas not too long ago and Spring Break's coming up, right? I'll still see you guys, Linc and you'll still see me."
Listening to that did bring his spirits up. "Yeah, that's right."
"Afraid that's all the time I have before classes start. I'll talk to you later, little bro."
His big sister ended the skype call and Lincoln could now focus on getting ready for school. He was already fully dressed and had everything gathered in his backpack, he just needed to grab some breakfast grub and he was all set. He walked out and passed by the other rooms occupied by all his other sisters, and heard an ominous moaning coming from the one shared by Lynn and Lucy.
"Lucy?" Lincoln peeked inside and saw his younger sister sitting on her personal bed, surrounded by wilted flowers and hopefully fake human skeleton skulls, the little goth girl had her head pointed upwards in a sort of trance.
"Brother? Do you feel it?"
Put off by that question, Lincoln looked through the hallway to see if there was something wrong. "Feel what?"
"There has been a disturbance." Lucy hugged herself. "I've been feeling it these past few weeks. The veil between the land of the living and the planes of the departed has been breached through random points and death always follows. It's throwing chaos and disorder into the balance of things."
Lincoln's eyes darted to the sides and slowly backed away. "...Rrrright. If you say so."
"Be careful."
"Huh?" Her rather fearful tone and concerned frown made him stop.
"The spirits have spoken to me. A premonition came to me last night." Lucy got off the bed and held her older brother's shoulders. "Danger awaits, Lincoln. Watch yourself."
Chuckling, Lincoln takes her hands off him. "No offense, Lucy. But, the last time I listened to warnings like that I almost got left behind at the park. Have you been reading those weird books at night again?"
"Yes, but that's besides the point." Lucy knew that her premonitions had always fallen onto deaf ears among her family and ones that relied on common sense such as her brother could hardly be swayed. But she trusted her instincts this time and the little girl underneath her gothic exterior didn't want this disturbance to do any harm to her family. "Just please, Lincoln. Have special care, today. The forces of the unknown are wild and unpredictable, I can't bear the thought of any of you suffering."
Seeing her in such a begging state made Lincoln decide to at least reassure her. "Look. Let's say that after school, I help you out with your poems. It's been a while since we've done that, right?"
"...Promise?"
He pats her shoulder with a smile. "Promise, sis. Now come on, we're gonna be late for school."
Sometimes, Lincoln worries about Lucy whenever she gets like this, not only is it creepy, but she really does it over the top.
Nevertheless, he knew her well enough to deal with it.
Their lives are semi-normal.
Not much can change that.
Life after death.
People are meant to believe that after their time on the planet, no one really knew for sure and that there's no scientific proof that there really is some form of afterlife when the time comes. All that humankind had to go on were the ramblings and depictions in various books throughout several different religions and mythologies. Many believed them, many didn't, it's not something one's really sure until they see it for themselves and once they do, they realize...they were way better off not knowing, because a majority of the Earth's population end up going to Hell. Those that have committed sins with no remorse are sent there to suffer the endless eternity of suffering and damnation at the hands of fire and brimstone. At least that's what the books always told them.
All in all. it's actually not that different from the human world. Key differences were the abundance of demons that roam the seven rings of Hell, such as the demon who once roamed as a human but was now a literal one-eyed cyclops demon with olive skin and prep school uniform addressing a complaint to a certain imp about a grievance he has.
"I wasn't always the best person in the world." the cyclops demon admitted with a sardonic chuckle. "Look at where I am, can't get more obvious than that. My parents did everything they could to get me into some stuffy prep school since I kept getting into fights at my old one, staying out late to shoplift the local stores, doing drugs, drinking some booze, etcetera. But, you know, I was actually starting to turn my life around. Made enough progress to graduate with honors, be the first person in my family to get into college too."
"And then you fell into old habits and someone ratted you out, led you to go on the lamb for a bit until it all ended in suicide by cop, right?"
"What?!" He got off the chair with fire in his single eye as he didn't have time for games.
That ad that those back alley dealers showed him made it seem like this was a good deal, but as far as he could tell, this damn imp was too busy poking fun than honoring his part of this arrangement. How the cyclops wanted to just punch this imp in the face. If he had known that the head of this outfit was a tall red skinned with a white mark black and white horned yellow and red eyed imp in a tacky suit, he would have gone someplace else and maybe taken that red skull pendant as a souvenir.
That nifty red skull pendant may also bring in some easy money.
"Is that not how it went?" the imp asked. "It's either that or drunk driving. You kids and the shenanigans you get into." He chuckles, poking the cyclops forehead.
"Listen, you little shit! I heard you're the imp to go to if demons like me felt like we got cheated out of our lives back on Earth and get some damn payback! So either quit it with the bullshit, or I take my money and leave!"
"Okay, okay." The imp conceded with annoyance. "Ugh, so moody. So, how did it go down?"
Taking a deep breath, the cyclops went back to his story. "It started when he rolled into town." his eye glowed and gave a beast-like growl at the memories of the events surrounding his death. "Some new teacher that everyone got along with. He starts out by substituting for the ones that no one else likes and offers help to at-risk kids like me. But, the guy turned out to be a total bastard. Guy was into some dark stuff."
The imp made a sound of understanding. "Ah. He was that kind of teacher, huh?"
"I thought the same too. But, no. I'm talking like full on devil worshipping kind of shit, man. Had this weird book, had in some circle with a pentagram and next thing I know, I was down here, was told my soul got dragged to hell and my body got killed after that and here I am. Now, I don't care how you do it, I just want you to get up there, find that son of a bitch and make him fucking suffer, Blitzo."
The imp that was named Blitzo hardly cared at the guy's little sob story of how he made it to the land of the damned. The part about this teacher having a peculiar book certainly got him interested, though. After all the info he needed, the new client made his way out of the office while one final middle finger to Blitz. "Sinners." he shakes his head. "Always with the attitude. And the o is silent!"
Catering to the other half of Hell's denizens that were once human wasn't always pretty, but taking advantage of their grievances made for a good payday and that was good enough for Blitz.
Just another day at the office of I.M.P.
Now, he just needed to make sure his valued employees were primed and ready.
"That's it, Moxxie. Nice and steady."
A freckled imp with white hair up to his horns and a similar uniform to his boss, only he included a bowtie to the ensemble as his own personal touch. He stood at the middle of the room on his digitigrade legs holding a rifle and taking aim with a hell pistol gun at a crudely drawn stick figure with the words ``BAD MAN", courtesy of Blitz. This was his personal routine in order to be more efficient when out on the field, one that's gotten a lot of insults, but he likes to think this made for a skillful assassin.
Calm, cool, and collected.
Alert to everything around him.
"Fuck, there's a burglar!"
"AH!" That warning made Moxxie pull the trigger a bit too soon and the bullet ricocheted across the room and through the window glass, striking a passing demon bird. "Loona!" He glared harshly at the receptionist who sat reading a magazine, unapologetic of her messing his shot up on purpose just for fun.
"Oops, my mistake. Just a bug."
Their company's hellhound, Loona said with a taunting look thrown to Moxxie's way. She was an upright wolf-like demon using a punk gothic attire consisting of a dark choker, gray crop top supported by an inverted pentagram star strings, crescent moon shorts, fingerless gloves, barefoot shoes, and played to her style straight with the piercings under her eyebrow and one of her ears was torn. She snapped a pic of Moxxie in his embarrassed state, moving her voluminous long gray hair to its usual spot to the side and exposing the aforementioned ear. Due to her boss/adoptive father stationing her at the desk as the receptionist, the best she can do is entertain herself with her favorite pastime, messing with Moxxie.
"Loona, quit messing up Mox's shot!" the other female member of the company told the hellhound with her own glare. An imp like her husband, Millie had black hair bob cut style bed hair, a beauty mark, and a gap between her teeth. In addition to her black lipstick black choker, she also had on a shoulder-exposed crop top, ripped black pants, fingerless black gloves, and footwear that doesn't cover her hoof-like toes.
"Don't get either of your tails twisted or sliced off." Loona felt no need to apologize for her actions. "The boring factor of today is already making it shitty enough. You try finding a better way to entertain me."
Moxxie dusted himself off after getting up. "Your job isn't to find entertainment, Loona. It's to inform us of any calls and yet, you barely do a good job of that." He criticized her, which earned him Loona flipping the bird at him.
"Here we go again with that crap, Moxxie." Loona didn't even look him in the eye, her phone had her full attention. "Blitz just talked with a client, so it's gonna be all answering the phone for me until you pricks get back. Might as well get some fun in while I still can."
Her attitude never brightened up the mood and even though this was Hell, Moxxie felt that it only made it worse. "We are Immediate Murder Professionals. Emphasis on professionals. We work our roles with the utmost professionalism and dignity." Moxxie made the mistake in standing hear the door to Blitz's personal office as once it was opened, the was slammed against him due to his boss.
"Look alive, people! We got a new job!" Blitzo announced with a gleeful smile then looked at his downed and least favorite employee. "Christ on a stick, Moxxie. Anyone ever told you to act more professional than a slob?" He chastised and after Moxxie stood up again, the employees of IMP assembled at the table as their boss gave them a briefing on their new assignment. "Here's the deal. We got a troubled soul whose life was cut short by a teacher and we are going to take him to school!"
His adoptive daughter groans at that horrible dad joke. "Blitz! Puns are a crappy way of showing you're funny. You know that."
"That was a test for you, Looney and you passed!" Blitzo rubbed her head tenderly, making her silently growl and the IMP boss went back to business. "Anyway, this job's a bit special compared to any of the past. Seems our target marked for murder has dabbled into the arts of hellish magic of the sacrificial kind."
Admittedly, that garnered some surprise from his employees, even Loona. Humans have always been divided in their faiths and beliefs and those who actually believed in the devil hoped to appease his wrath by committing themselves to him by practicing the dark arts based on his power, though most only use it as an excuse to wield unbelievable power at their control. This time however, it seems there was a human who truly seemed to have a certain sway over demonic magic and using it for his own ends by making a deal with the devil.
"Sir, wouldn't this fall into the category of being above our pay grade?" Moxxie cautiously asks.
"Damn it all, Moxxie! Can't go one second without bringing the room down, can ya?" Blitzo admonishes.
Used to this treatment from his boss, Moxxie remained critical. "All I'm saying is that this target has a chance of actually fighting back and us failing to complete the task. It's an unnecessary risk."
"Life's full of unnecessary risks, Moxxie." Blitzo paid the warnings no heed, it only excites him further. "Like when your parents decided to have you or Mills saying "I do". Also, think of the bigger picture. We take this piss-bucket out and everyone this side of Pride and further down the rings will know IMP means business. Who's with me?"
"You can count on us, Blitz!" Millie voiced her enthusiasm through her usual Southern dripped accent. "I'll go get my mallet primed and ready!" She finishes with a hearty salute.
"That's what I like to hear, Millie! Moxxie, take cues from your wife sometime. I might just start to treat you with some respect, but not really. Messing with you is just so fucking great." Blitzo sighs with fondness despite the glare from Moxxie. "Now, go fetch the weapons and the book."
"Shouldn't it be in your office, sir?" Moxxie pointed out as he was the imp in charge.
"Excuse me, I'm the boss. Not whoever's in charge of keeping things tidy here." That gave Blitzo some thought. "Now that I think about it. We probably should hire someone for a support kind of role."
"What? Like some unpaid intern?" Loona snorts at the idea and points to herself and the married couple. "The only reason you have the three of us is because you adopted me and those two are desperate for any job to make enough cash. Someone would have to be even more desperate for something better to work here."
"Now, don't be like that, Loonie. We may be an assassination company, but we're also a big happy family!" Blitzo wrapped his arms around Loona's body and snuggled in close to her fur. "Remember, while we're topside, you-"
"-stay and look out for calls." Loona finished for him, forcing him off.
"The target got a name?" Millie asks, already gearing up.
Blitzo opens up his mouth to answer the other yet slightly shorter imp.
"Mr. Stillman?"
Lincoln sat on the section of the bus that was for middle schoolers which included his main circle of friends consisting of best friend Clyde, wannabe ladies' man Rusty, conspiracy theorist Zach, country boy Liam, and former new girl Stella. As the bus moved to drop off the elementary schoolers first, the group of friends talked amongst themselves, the Filipino girl brought up a recent addition to the staff of Royal Woods Middle School.
"That's his name." Stella Zhau affirms after Lincoln asked a question. "He's a substitute teacher that took over for my shop class last week. Rolled into town around that time, too. In fact, I think he taught at my old school before I moved and before that, at another. Like some wandering teacher."
Zach's eyes widened a little at the implications he picked up. "Or a wandering alien disguised as a teacher!"
"That's what you said about Norm the janitor in fourth grade, Zach." Clyde recalled, addressing how outlandish the glasses wearing boy's theories are. "And Mrs. Johnson when we entered fifth grade."
"Then I'm due for being right this time around!" Zach argued back, not liking it when his theories are disregarded as out there.
"Buddy, you really gotta dial back on that kind of stuff." Rusty tells him, noticing how their female classmates looked weirded out or outright laughed when listening to his rantings. "You're gonna cramp my style."
Liam consoled him. "Don't you worry about that, Rust. Bessie the cow still thinks you're cute."
Shockingly, that did little for Rusty Spokes.
Lincoln got back to the main topic. "Well, any teacher's better than Mr. Bolhofner. I don't get why he's so nasty all the time. He seemed pretty alright during middle school orientation."
"I believe being moved to an outdoor classroom with a cramped space and horrid conditions played a factor in this apparently more sour disposition that you've described repeatedly, elder brother." Lisa explains from her seat among those in her current grade.
"He can't be worse than my new teacher since the year started." Lola huffed. "They had the audacity to keep reprimanding me time and time again. Do they not know who they're dealing with?!"
"What are you talking about? The teacher is super fun!" Lana contradicts her twin's indignant anger with her contentment. "She lets me bring in treats for the classroom hamster."
The bus stopped as it made its first destination at the elementary school. "I'll see you girls after school!" Lincoln told his younger sisters once they stood up to make it off the bus, though Lucy lingered a bit inside and looked back at Lincoln one more time until Lola yelled out her name to tell her to pick up the pace or else she'll be late. The school bus left the elementary school and when all students went inside, none could see a portal open up near the school entrance and out came the three imps of IMP.
"Alright, let's get shit done." Blitzo said, though, became deflated when Moxxie struggled to carry their bag full of weapons needed to end a life all of a sudden. "For shit's sake, Moxxie. Try actually pulling your weight. We're supposed to be professionals here."
Ignoring more insulting remarks made at his expense, Moxxie became thankful when his wife helped with the heavy lifting. "Well, maybe if we packed lighter, it wouldn't be an issue. Truly, sir, all this gear is excessive."
"No such thing as too excessive. First most important rule of life." Blitzo looks at the school building and groans. "Fuck! This isn't the middle school, this is a fucking elementary school. We're supposed to be at a place of education of little shits on the crisp of puberty with the face acne, not runts who piss in their pants."
"Oops. That's my bad." Mollie flushed sheepishly. "Guess I overshot it a little."
"Terrific." Blitzo does an eye roll with a sarcastic tone. "Looks like your incompetence is rubbing off on your wife and she's one of my best employees. Right behind Loona, of course."
"If Loona's so great, why not bring her along?" Moxxie asked, equally snarky and sarcastic and his boss got up in his face over it.
"Don't even joke about that! No way is my precious little baby getting in the line of fire up here in the land of a-holes! She's a valued employee, too!"
"But it's okay when we're the ones risking our lives and she's back at the office?" Moxxie surmised, hardly seeing the logic.
Predictably, Blitzo was fine with it. "Now you're actually getting it. I'll go ahead and get us a ride." By which he means, he'll just hotwire any car in the parking lot, meaning much misfortune for the owner of said car.
Moxxie shakes his head, beginning to wait with his wife. "Maybe signing on with him was a big mistake. Desperate as we are, is this really worth it?"
Millie gasped, aghast at her hubby. "Moxxie, don't be like that. I think it was a huge string of luck when we found this job. What other job would take two imps with our skills that are more useful if it's to kill?" Moxxie stubbornly grumbles and she puts a comforting hand on her husband's shoulder to relax him a little. "Face it, Mox. We're imps. At the bottom of Hell's food chain. If we didn't take Blitz's offer, we'd be with all other homeless folks from Pride to Wrath." she justified.
As much as Moxxie hated to admit it, signing on with Blitzo may have solved their financial worries, but the risks they take are still problematic. "Maybe, but I still don't like it. We risk exposure to humans and you know how serious the punishment for that is. We're right outside a school. For crying out loud."
"A school with teachers of lousy tastes you mean." The married couple saw a classic looking car drive up with Blitzo at the wheel and using stacked up books as seats for a better view that looked as ridiculous as it sounds. "I was lucky to find this beauty. All these other beaters, complete crap. Now get on, time's wasting and we got a teacher to kill."
Moxxie rode shotgun while Millie went to the back and Blitzo drove them off, breaking the speeding limit, nearly running over people, and causing extensive property damage while giving the finger to really stick it to the people.
Subtlety, thy name was not Blitz.
As stated before, Mr. Bolhofner was not any student's first choice as a homeroom and first period teacher due to his nasty attitude that's always present when he's up and about. But curiosity filled the students when the teachers' desk remained empty without Bolhofner there at all and it's well past the start of first period. Lincoln looked around, the other students murmured amongst each other and the clocks kept ticking away, while his teacher wasn't the nicest guy, he still felt some concern. "Hey, Chandler." He whispers to the classmate. "Any idea what's going on? Where's Mr. Bolhofner?"
"How should I know, Lincoln Lame?" Chandler replied with a careless shrug. "If you care so much, why don't you go look for him?"
Now, Lincoln needed to remind himself why he bothered asking Chandler of all people in the first place. The door suddenly opens and comes a well-dressed black haired man with a suitcase. "Hello, all. Sorry for being late. I thought they were kidding when they told the class was outside. Awfully warm in here." the man notes, going to the busted up air conditioner.
A student raised a hand to ask the question on everyone's mind. "Excuse me. But, who are you?"
"Huh? Oh, pardon my abruptness. I'm the new substitute, Mr. Stillman." The class becomes momentarily surprised by this news. "Mr. Bolhofner unfortunately had some stomach problems and I'll be taking over for him while he's in the hospital. Now, I may be the teacher, but perhaps you kids can tell what you usually do here."
"He usually tells us to read our books and not disturb him when he's yelling at his ex-wife on the phone."
"Then, he just slaps us with a pop quiz we didn't even prepare for."
Behind him, Stillman saw the chalkboard which said "POP QUIZ" in big bold letters. The students were dreading today as it was a test that they had no idea about. Their teacher had blindsided them with this and now were afraid that their unexpected new teacher was going to pick up where Bolhofner left off. More surprises came when the substitute erased the words.
"That was Bolhofner's plan." Mr. Stillman was raring to use his own teaching methods. "Here's the deal. You all read your books up to page anything above forty and I'll order us some fresh chocolate milk from the cafeteria. Any takers?"
"Sweet!" Lincoln smiles as everyone let out an excited cheer and this was a rare occasion where students were actually willing to learn something and to make it even better, the new teacher turned down the heat to make the temperature more bearable. Lincoln never imagined that the apparently cool substitute teacher would be filling in for his class, but he knew better than to question such good fortune and didn't know how this could get any better. Mr. Stillman proved that such things were indeed possible.
"Now, I know this isn't probably at the top of any of your to-do lists, but I am in the market for some help after school. For incentive, I'm willing to be more lenient on future assignments." Many hands were raised, hoping to land such a sweet deal and Mr. Stillman looked through many of them and one hand caught his eye. "You there. The kid in orange. Got a name?"
"Lincoln Loud, sir."
"Well, Lincoln. You're one lucky kid. I see less work for you in the future."
"Yes!" Lincoln celebrates with a fist pump as the others groan in disappointment.
The child of white hair didn't know what Lucy was talking about.
Today's starting out pretty good.
Back at the elementary school, lunchtime came around the corner and it was the one time the younger sisters of the Loud family would reconvene with each other after separating to their classes, except for the twins who miraculously got stuck in the same class just as last year. "I had previously hoped this new class would be a better challenge than the abysmal academic level Ms. Shrinivas gave and while the lack of crayon coloring and arts and crafts projects are a welcomed change, I would appreciate school activities that are much better suited for an intelligent quotient such as my own." said Lisa to her sisters, sitting down with them at the tables outside.
"It's only first grade, Lisa. It's designed to be easy." Lucy said to her, nothing ever seemed to be challenging enough for the family prodigy. It's like dealing with Lynn only for her, sports and competition took the place of academics. "The joys of elementary school are fleeting, so enjoy it while you still can. I along with my fellow tortured souls prepare ourselves for the inevitable soul crushing atmospheres of both middle school and high school." A noise sounding like a crow came from her phone, indicating a text.
"Who texted?" Lana asks.
"It's from Lincoln. He says that he'll be staying after school and to pass it on to mom and dad." Lucy informs them of her unsettling feeling coming back. It subsided at first after her talk with her brother, but suddenly, it came creeping back.
"Speaking of, it would seem our parental units will be late for their previously scheduled time to retrieve us from school." Lisa dishes out her own information to her siblings. "A speedy deviant has recently made numerous traffic violations, leading to horrid vehicular accidents that have promptly closed down the roads, leaving them inaccessible."
"But I wanted daddy to take me to the mall for new pageant gowns." Lola complained. "That's not fair!"
"Calm down, Lols. It's not as if we'll be stuck here all night." Lana says and notices Lucy's troubled expression. "Everything okay, Luce?"
"...It's fine." Lucy says, not wanting her younger sisters to worry. With Lincoln in middle school now, she now serves as the oldest Loud kid in elementary school that requires her to put up a strong front. "Just have a bad feeling."
"That is most likely merely a random thought of doubt and dread most likely brought on by your illogical continued fascination and devotion with subjects pertaining to the arcane and supernatural." Lisa chimed, shaking her head. "Unless it is proven with sufficient evidence, I remain skeptical on why anyone would place such belief on such nonsense."
"Remind me to ask you what it feels like to sit on the high horse." Although Lisa's attitude was less than savory for her tastes, it wasn't enough to diminish her belief, so Lucy ignored it to focus more on the bad feeling and what was even more unsettling was that it seemed to focus heavily on her big brother.
The rest of the school day went by like a breeze and just as Lincoln promised Mr. Stillman, he stuck around to help him with a few stuff in return that he goes easy on the boy with future school projects and for some extra credit too for added measure. "Thanks again for this, Lincoln. Even though it is mostly just for the incentives I promised."
"Yeah. I won't lie, that was reason enough." Lincoln admits to, not wanting to leave a selfish impression however. "But, I'm cool helping out just because. I don't want too much special treatment."
"Good attitude, kid." Mr. Stillman complimented as he and his student went out of the school. "Now, there are a few things I need from my car. Hope you don't mind some heavy lifting."
"Not really my forte, but I can try." This could give him a chance to see if those repeated lessons from Lynn during the summer could actually pay off for a change. His car was parked not far from them and he had his key in hand to open it and the white haired boy was instructed to open up the trunk at the back of the car. Inside was a rather suspicious looking trunk that had a lot of chains and locks on it, not the kind you'd expect a middle school teacher to have or anyone, really. But what really got him in a flurry of curiosity and suspicion was an odd book in the trunk, its design was black and red with the emblem of a two horned creature on the cover.
Essentially, it's the kind of book he'd expect Lucy to have.
But before he could ask his teacher about the nature of the book, a loud popping sound was heard and the window of a nearby car broke and it became apparent to them both that it was the sound of a gunshot. "Jesus!" Mr. Stillman shouts in shock.
"W-What was that?!" Lincoln asks, fearfully.
That was a stray shot fired from a sniper rifle handled by Moxxie from the car Blitzo stole for them and his misfire earned him more ire from the boss of IMP. "Shit! Way to miss a clear shot, Moxxie!"
"S-Sir there is a child right there!" Moxxie urgently told him and Millie, pointing to the boy in question. "The target's just the teacher this time! He could very well be his newest victim!"
"Fuck! One job without complications! Is that too much to fucking ask for?!"
"Blitz, Mox, look!" Millie pointed as the teacher grabbed Lincoln by the wrist.
"Inside, now!" Getting on the driver's seat and making sure Lincoln stayed seated in the back, Mr. Stillman started the car and drove fast to get away from his attackers and those who were nearby and in the school started to panic and make some phone calls to the local police. "So, you want to make this a chase, eh, dipshit? Game on." Blitzo glares as he readies to engage in pursuit. "Better buckle up! We gotta catch up before the boys in blue roll in!" The IMP crew gave chase as they followed after the vehicle. Many bystanders were almost hit by the speeding vehicles as Stillman tried to outrun whomever was trying to kill him and Lincoln clung to his seat for dear life, clearly not expecting this. Though dangerous situations were nothing new to him, this was the first time guns were involved.
"Mr. Stillman! What's going on?!"
"Just hang on tight, Lincoln! I know a safe place we can go to!"
Blitzo grits his teeth as the stolen car rams through mailboxes, trashcans, and other unimportant roadblocks that stand in the way of him, his employees, and their target. "Come on! Get the fuck out of the way, you pricks!" He honked the horn when they got dangerously close to any humans that made the mistake of either jaywalking or just standing there. "This is an important IMP business!"
"Sir, try to keep it under control!" Moxxie advised. "Your wild driving is making it hard for me to get a precise aim!"
"Don't you give me lip! It was your shitty aiming that made this a chase in the first place! Just one shot and we could've been done with this crap!"
"Again, I was not comfortable with potentially harming a boy that as far as we know, has nothing to do with our job!"
Blitzo glared. "Oh, fuck me sideways! Enough with that whole moral dilemma! I swear, it'll only make future jobs more complicated!"
"At least I have common sense!"
"You're a demon from motherfucking Hell! For the love of Lucifer, his little princess' sentimentality is rubbing off on everyone!"
Millie formed her own plan to catch up to the target.
The bruiser of the team brandished a grappling hook and surprised her husband and boss by rolling down the windows and standing at the hood of the car. Despite the car being out of control with Blitzo at the wheel, she had accurate focus when she fired the hook and it strapped to the target's vehicle. Pressing the trigger a second time, Millie was pulled towards the car and firmly held onto the top and pulled out one of her knives. Mr. Stillman shouts in surprise when after rolling down his window to see if he lost them only to be met with an attacking Millie who grabs him by the back of the throat and crashed his face repeatedly to the wheel, making Lincoln scream in surprise at the sight of the imp. Millie raised her knife to deliver multiple killing blows, but Mr. Stillman elbowed her to the backseat, but not before she managed to snatch something from his pocket with her tail.
Grunting, Millie was ready to restart her attack, until she looked and saw Lincoln's petrified face. For a moment, she too stopped moving after seeing the fear in his eyes, giving Mr. Stillman the chance to grab her by the horns and throw her out.
Millie rolled on the ground and saw the car disappear from view. "Shit." she cursed as the stolen car rolled up and Moxxie quickly hurried out.
He gently cradles his wife. "Millie! Are you alright?!"
"Just a few scratches, hon." She reassured him. "Nothing I can't walk off."
"That's good, Mills. Because, we're gonna need you at full strength if we're gonna catch up and finish this job that really should've been taken care of by now." Blitzo didn't want to return to Hell without success as any dissatisfied client would spell IMP's reputation going into the crapper. "Good thing I got this map."
"We still need an exact location, sir." Moxxie was really starting to get tired of having to point stuff out.
"Voila." Millie holds what she snatched from Mr. Stillman which was his wallet. "Bet you 10 souls his address is in his license."
"That's what I like to see, Mills! Some sweet fucking resourcefulness!"
Lincoln didn't know what to make of this whole mess.
He was simply helping out his substitute teacher for some extra credit,
Just another day in the life in Royal Woods for Lincoln Loud, the boy with 11 sisters and white hair.
But nope. Everything hits the fan the minute those gunshots went out and became involved in a chase that endangered his life and that thing, that feminine creature with horns, a tail, and red skin. It completely curb-stomped any sense of rational thinking that was going on in his head. "Lincoln." Mr. Stillman said. Those imps were obviously gunning for him and him alone, so he needed to move and work fast before they catch up to him and though he had no idea why they were here, time was still of the essence. "I need you in my house." He ordered, pointing to the house he drove them to.
It was a solitary home, one that was mostly separated from a majority of Royal Woods, a nice private dwelling where he was free to be left to his own devices. "Huh...?" Lincoln was still reeling from what had just happened, that his brain barely registered what the teacher asked of him/
He just stared into empty space with a numb expression.
"Lincoln." Mr. Stillman said again with a bit more edge in his voice and more pain as his face was swollen. "Please. Just go inside my house and stay there. I...have a plan for this. Just stay inside and don't go out, okay?"
"...Right."
Mr. Stillman watched him enter the house and the teacher pulled out a napkin to wash the blood off his face. "Shit. How the hell are imps of all things here and why are they after me?" Sighing, he got out of his car and went to his car's trunk where his needed supplies were there. "Guess I gotta improvise now. Oh well. At least in the end, it will be all worth it. I still have time."
Inside the house, Lincoln stood in the nice living room of Mr. Stillman's house. He did exactly as he was told, knowing he could trust the judgment of a teacher and had equal trust that he could find a way out for both of them. Whatever that plan is. But then, is it even possible? None of Lincoln's own plans could've ever predicted something like this.
A car chase. Guns shooting. Red creatures. His mind tried finding some reach around, some way to spin this craziness like in the past, but this wasn't like those times. He could barely make any sense of it that his mind could easily snap from all of this in an instant and nothing could distract him from-
Wait.
He must have been subconsciously trying to find something else to focus on besides his current situation in order to salvage sense and stability, because there was no other reason why he'd look at photos by the fireplace. Moving closer to inspect, Lincoln could see that they were pictures of Mr. Stillman in various class photos.
Clearly, these were mementos of his many teaching posts at each of the schools he taught in previously, in both public and private schools. The man was committed to his job, that much was obvious. It was actually pretty impressive that he's been at this teaching thing for such a long time, it made Lincoln wonder why he never went into full-time teaching.
Especially considering that he seemed to have been at this since the 50's or so.
That made Lincoln retract.
Upon closer inspection, these photos for some reason seemed to have been taken at several time periods. Growing up with fashionable sisters like Lori and Leni taught him which was out of style and last he checked, boots went out in the 60's. Same with the mullet hairstyles that one entire class seemed to have and how in one photo, it was in black and white. Each photo had Mr. Stillman in it and in each one, he looked the same age, as if time had no effect on him whatsoever.
"What? How is he-" His train of thought became interrupted when a blunt object struck against the back of his head and he fell down to the floor with a thud.
Mr. Stillman placed the object aside. "Next time I must use some ether. That was my favorite statue."
"Come on! The light is green!"
Rita Loud honks the horn of Vanzilla loudly, trying to usher the cars in front of her to move along so she could make it with the kids she managed to pick up from the high school. She was half tempted to cuss up a storm and get into a fist fight with the driver in front of her, but that wouldn't really set a bright and good example for her daughters.
"Mom, chillax a little. The little sibs will still be there, same with Linc and Lynn at their school." Luna soothingly says to her mom.
Breathing deeply, Rita relaxes in her seat. "Right. Sorry, girls. The Fox quintuplets came in at the Feinstein's office and you know how rowdy they can be. The last thing I needed was some speed demon making the roads closed."
"Guess they were in a real rush." Luan quipped, but received no laughs from her family inside the van. "Oh, come on. It wouldn't kill you guys to appreciate the gold I spit out."
Rubbing her already exhausted eyes. Rita laid down some motherly law for her three daughters, so that this day could at least still be the least hectic day of her life. "Luan, honey, keep the puns at a minimum please." She didn't have the heart to tell her how most people frown at puns, seeing them as the lowest form of comedy. "When things finally get moving, we can still make it in time to pick the younger kids up, then Lynn and Lincoln and when your father's done at his restaurant, we can have a nice normal day out of our house. Normal for us, anyway."
"Then we better not tell Lynn someone decided to copy her look." Leni spoke up, looking out the window. "That is not normal."
"Huh?" There was indeed a girl dressed strikingly similar to Lynn Jr., the same jersey, same sport shorts, and shoes, even the same hairstyle with the ponytail.
Only Rita could tell that it really was her fifth eldest child after Luan, same with the one before her. "Dude. That is Lynn." Luna tells Leni, easily recognizing one of her siblings.
Indeed, there was the sporty little Loud, legs kicking as she waited for the signal to run off and seeing as traffic wasn't going to move anytime soon, Rita made the decision to get out of the van and run towards her. "Lynn!"
"Mom?" The jock became surprised at the sudden arrival of her mother. "What are you doing here?"
"I should be asking you that. Shouldn't you be at school waiting with Lincoln?" Rita asked.
"My bus driver was held up because of all this stinking traffic after team practice was over, so I decided to jog home." Lynn explained, but became confused. "Hold on. Shouldn't he be with you?"
No, he wasn't.
By now, any after school activity at middle school should be done.
So if he's not there and not with them, then they could not ascertain where Lincoln Loud was.
The only thing that came to his mind was the throbbing pain he felt at his head, not even the sports balls thrown by Lynn ever hit him with so much force. This was a new level of pain that Lincoln didn't want to experience again. Rummaging through his last memories, Lincoln was able to remember what happened just before everything went dark. Mr. Stillman in all those pictures and before that, the events that led up to him getting bonked in the head and losing consciousness. Now that it was back, he had a clear understanding that his troubles weren't at an end as evident by him being tied to a chair in some kind of basement, most like the one in Mr. Stillman's house.
He saw candles surrounding him, making the shape of the circle and a pentagram drawn by a chalk with him right in the middle of it, a classic setting for those movies his parents forbade him from ever seeing. "What-What is this?" Try as he might, there was no struggling his way free of these tight restraints.
Nor did there seem to be any help.
"Awake already?" Gasping, Lincoln's eyes casted on Mr. Stillman walking down the stairs with a stoic expression. "You must have a thicker head than I thought. Most kids are still out when I get started."
Confused out of his mind, Lincoln asked several questions. "What's going on?! Why are you doing this?! What's with this star and everything?! I-I don't understand?!"
Mr. Stillman chuckled humorously. "No. Of course you don't. How could you? You're not even old enough to drive or vote or even live on your own. Still just a feckless neophyte in the grand scheme of things like so many others. The kind that should just be put out of their misery."
"What?" Lincoln didn't know what to make of this.
He was so polite and kind this morning, now his personality did a complete 180, showing a more condescending and eerie presence with a look that didn't sit in well with the boy. What made Lincoln really begin to panic was the sharp knife he was wielding and there was that strange book he had in his hand from the trunk. "I've been at this teaching thing for a long time now, boy. You go in expecting to shape young minds only to see that those young minds are beyond helping or saving. There's no point in guiding them when they've strayed too far. Their lives are hardly worth a damn so it's only right that they're used for a good cause."
"Mr. Stillman, what are you saying?! What do you plan to do with me?!" Lincoln was really starting to get scared. The nice new teacher that Mr. Stillman tried to present himself as had disappeared and he didn't like this side of him. It made him sweat and experience intense fear.
"Nothing good. I can tell you that much." Mr. Stillman opened the book to begin. "I'd knock you out again, but I've already wasted too much time. No more delays." When the book opened, the lighting of the room got even more dim and the fires of the candles began to burn brighter until they became the only light source available. Mr. Stillman then speaks in a strange dialect that Lincoln couldn't understand, his voice got so deep and ominous he would think he was turning into a monster.
On the pages of the book were symbols and runes that glowed upon the needed words being spoken and they emerged from the pages and flew at Lincoln who screamed as pain went through his system and his eyes became pitch black and his hair became raised by an invisible source. Stillman continued casting the phrases until the process was complete and Lincoln's eyes reverted to normal. He was extremely exhausted, however, as if whatever strength he had left was drained. "Someone...help..." He mutters, intending to scream, but could only say it quietly.
"Still somewhat awake?" Mr. Stillman notes, slightly surprised. "I'll give you this much. Not even the high schoolers had enough strength to still say words after this part. A pity. Taking away the strong souls always disappoints me. But not enough to stop me." He advances towards Lincoln with the knife raised. "As promised, the sacrifice's soul is tied to the realm of the damned and as payment for that and his life, I ask for his youth!"
It always took a while, and with the incantation done, it'd be complete.
He would have achieved his objective if not for the barrage of bullets that broke down the locked basement door. Stray bullets shot his hand, making him drop the knife. Mr. Stillman heard the taunting voice of the head imp in charge. "Nice light show, dickhead. You gonna pull a rabbit out of a hat next?" Blitzo cracked, Moxxie and Millie standing at his sides.
Him and Moxxie fired at him with his pistols, forcing Mr. Stillman to go on the defense, evading shots and hiding behind some crates where he kept an emergency pistol handy. The mad teacher checked to see if he had enough and he fired back with equal vigor, not going to let these demons take him when he's so close. "What business do you have with me?!"
"Exactly what you just said, asshole. Business!" Blitzo shouts bad, after they went for their own covers.
"You are lowly imps! How can cretins like you be allowed free reign in the living world?!"
"Corporate secret, I'm afraid. Just know that this happened because you pissed off someone enough to want you dead and we're happy to oblige!"
Blitzo's words confused Stillman. For all he knew, a relative of one of his victims could've somehow made contact down below. "I do important work! You have no right!"
Millie tiptoed her way across the basement as Blitzo kept flinging criticisms at Stillman.
"Important work? Like killing your students as part of some fucked up sacrificial ritual. Cursing their souls to Hell, then killing them to seal the deal in return that you don't age into a fucking sack of liver sots and wrinkles?" Blitzo smirks. "Saw your little collage of memories in your living room. Not that hard to piece together."
"It's necessary!" Mr. Stillman insists. "I'm not like most of these lost pitiful souls that go about their days as ignorant little shits! I deserve to roam the Earth eternally for all time!"
"Said the student murderer." Moxxie mutters in contempt.
Blitzo shushed him. "Hey, man. I get wanting to look out for yourself in a delusional spiel and this isn't personal. But, we sorta can't leave without leaving you as a corpse. So, go ahead and let us kill you, okay?"
"Never!"
The boss of IMP shakes his head. "Tried to be civil. Sick him, Mills!"
Mr. Stillman found himself once again attacked by the force of nature that was Millie who jumped on his shoulders and blinded his eyes with her tail, making him move erratically while shooting random rounds, striking nothing. Millie's knife slashed his face, making him run, he bumped into Lincoln, knocking him out of the chair, finally set free. Millie climbed down to face him at eye level and relentlessly gave hard punches until he dropped his gun. Blitzo and Moxxie continued firing at him, and still, he persisted, he charged like a mad bull to make his way upstairs with Millie still on him and the other two imps gave chase.
Lincoln was too weak to properly react to this, but saw the knife Mr. Stillman had dropped and though it was slow, he was able to crawl his way to it and turned around to carefully grab it and began to cut himself free.
With Mr. Stillman, he struggled to get Millie off and he could barely dodge the bullets that were fired at him. He ran and kicked Moxxie, the imp impacted the wall hard. "Moxxie!" Furious upon seeing her husband be harmed, Millie went further moved rapidly around his face like a feral cat, making him become even more erratic in his movements.
Adrenaline fueling his strength, Mr. Stillman, face having a lot of cuts, threw her off and Blitzo catches her, but were hit aside by the mad substitute teacher armed with a broom. "Of all the lessons I've taught to kids. Never thought I'd get to teach three imps to never fuck with me!" He was ready to kill them right there but for him, interruptions were now becoming an occurrence for today. A grandfather clock, one that was a priceless family heirloom just fell down upon him, as it was pushed by none other than Lincoln Loud.
"Take that...jerk." Lincoln breathlessly says with a glare, dropping to a knee.
Stillman groaned, trying in vain to get the clock off and he was no longer able to fight back against the imps, which made it all the more easier for Blitzo.
"Please. Don't..." Mr. Stillman begged.
Blitzo stared down at him with a frown that shifted into a smirk. "You could've chosen way better last words, pal." He showed off his flintlock pistol and only fired point blank.
Stillman's wide eyed face fell down in a puddle.
Lincoln stepped back in shock with his eyes widening in horror, almost screaming. "Um, sir?" Moxxie pointed to the petrified boy.
"What? The kid?" Blitzo casually dismisses the issue. "Some therapy will do him good. If not? Well, not like people will believe him." With the job finally done, Blitzo went to work with drawing up the circle back to Hell. "Okay, let's go. It's payday time!" Blitzo's eyes widened when the portal then fizzles out, becoming unstable. "What the shit?!"
"Sir! What did you do?!" Moxxie frantically asks.
"Don't look at me! It just-"
In an instant, the room became enveloped in a flash.
There came another headache for Lincoln. Only this time, it didn't hurt quite as much and he actually felt a lot better compared to the dreariness he went through. Now that he thought about it, if he was waking up just now, then surely that must mean that everything that just happened was one crazy dream and nothing more. It makes perfect sense. All the shooting, the fighting, the eerie ritual with sacrificing involved, and those three imps that were trying to kill the worst teacher in history. All nothing but an insane dream that will remind never to eat grilled cheese sandwiches or sodas before bedtime, because no way was he going through all that again.
"Fuck! What was that shit?!"
"You tell us, sir! You were the one who opened the book!"
"Mox, Blitz. Just calm down!"
If it were a dream, then why was hearing the voices of those three imps?
"What the fuck is going on here?!" Demanded a new voice.
"Loona! Oh, thank the seven rings, you're okay!"
Eyes springing open at the mention of the familiar sounding name, Lincoln saw that his rock star sister was nowhere in sight. Neither were the rest of his family.
Instead, he was welcomed to the sight of the three imps and a walking talking wolf demon who was being hugged by the taller imp. "Get off, Blitz! I was enjoying some coffee I made for myself while you shitheads were out and suddenly, I heard some big boom! Tell me you dicks didn't screw up the job!"
"As a matter of fact, it went quite smoothly. That prick thought he had us by the ropes, but-"
"Uh, sir?"
Blitzo stopped his boasting to annoyingly glare at Moxxie. "What?!"
At this point, the entire IMP team registered the fact that standing in front of them was Lincoln Loud who stared at them, mouth open and eyes nearly bugging out of his head. Backing away slowly until he was at the wall, Lincoln saw a window and looked outside where saw many things, a decapitated head with multiple eyes on the floor, a mailbox with teeth that walked the sidewalk, various creatures with many distinguishing features going about. And up in the red sky was a pentagram star. It looked like he was in a city of some kind, one populated by demonic creatures of all kinds, mostly imps and those that were either another form of Hellborn or a Sinner.
After what seemed like centuries, Lincoln found his voice which was meek and fearful. "...What the hell?" He's usually not one to use such language, but in this instance, it was appropriate.