In the silence that followed a thousand eldritch deaths by moonwalk and marshmallow grilling, the madness was only just beginning.
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Outer Beings' Observation Log – Updated Madness Chronicle:
Just when the multiversal council of the most terrifying entities thought they had seen it all, the skies cracked open, and 500 eldritch horrors began… a rain dance.
Why? No one knows.
Did it rain? Yes.
Did they all die from the rain? Also yes.
Some imploded. Others melted into puddles of philosophy and tears. One turned into a puddle of coffee-flavored regret.
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Scarlet King: "Okay… that's new."
Lucifer (DC): "No, no, no—that's performance art."
Nyarlathotep: "One slipped on a banana… and died. How did a banana—"
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Scene Cut:
An eldritch abomination, 40 eyes and 3 timelines thick, slips dramatically on a banana peel.
Dies.
His last words: "Slippery fate…"
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Chaos King: "...Okay, WHAT is that?"
Cue slow pan across a newly appeared shopping mall floating in the void.
Eldritch entities in formal wear, trying on jackets that say 'Finger Heart 4 Ever' on the back.
K-Pop music playing faintly.
Jai standing at the register with a name tag: "Hi, I'm Madness Manager Jai"
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Suddenly—
A booth appears. A neon sign flashes:
"Tickets for: Jai's Eldritch Musical Gala! Tonight only!"
Azathoth's mindless hum changes tone. Yog-Sothoth appears—
Tears streaming down his infinite form.
Jai pats him gently.
"Don't cry, Yog. I just kidnapped you for the finale. After your musical number, they'll all die, and you can go home, kay?"
Yog-Sothoth sobs musically.
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SCP-3812: "He… he kidnapped Yog-Sothoth… FOR A MUSICAL CONCERT."
Lucifer, weeping from laughter: "He's a menace. A beautiful menace."
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Next moment—
Spotlight. Microphone.
The Great Darkness, bound in glittery chains, sings karaoke.
"Baby Shark" plays.
The One Below All is doing the frog dance, while Hajun is drying dishes in a sparkly apron.
AM (Allied Mastercomputer) is juggling rubber ducks.
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The Council screams in one voice:
"HOW DID A HUMAN KIDNAP US?!"
No answers. Only existential dread.
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Final Dungeon Room:
Jai meets the Final Boss, a titan-sized god of suffering and despair, dripping with evil.
Instead of fighting—
Jai feeds him a warm, delicious, home-cooked meal.
Boss cries. Eats. Dies. Dungeon collapses.
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Jai stands at the heart of the collapse.
His clothes torn, smoke rising—
He smiles, burned but unfazed.
Forms a Korean Finger Heart with glowing fingers.
K-Pop music swells.
Before the Council appears:
A fresh bento box
A note that reads:
> "Be far, far away from my loved ones' homeverse.
Or… I don't know who will get kidnapped next.
Death by panda plushie? Flying fish? Maybe frog karaoke?
You got a preferred way to die? I'm all ears."
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And then—
Jai vanished into the Rift.
A faint echo remains:
"Annyeong~!"
And a finger heart emoji in glowing neon.
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Lucifer, collapsing in a chair:
"…That kid isn't chaos."
SCP-682 whispers:
"He's the punchline of the multiverse."
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