The sealed training chamber hissed open with a whisper of air and tension, and out stepped Jai — body relaxed, expression unreadable, eyes glowing with a crimson gleam that hinted at something… inhuman. Around him, the air itself trembled.
Above, behind, below, and all around the void, 25 Eldritch Horrors emerged. Ancient beings. Nightmares carved from the marrow of reality itself. Their millions of eyes blinked in alien rhythm as they gazed at their plaything — their amusement — returning from the mortal chamber of trials.
But something was wrong.
One of the horrors collapsed.
Then another.
Then five more.
Until ten of them fell, writhing as if something far worse than death was upon them.
Floating before Jai's hand were football-sized hearts — pitch-black and pulsing with corrupted divinity. His fingers closed around them. A crack. A wet crunch. And then… silence.
He stepped forward, walking calmly as the Eldritch parted for him — unknowingly.
One, driven by hubris, struck out—
Shadow Thorns erupted from Jai's feet, impaling the abomination through every dimension it existed in. It screamed in reverse before turning into nothingness.
From Jai's shadow, an impossible mouth opened and devoured the remaining watchers.
No fear. No mercy.
He arrived at a great door ahead—pulsing, oozing with madness. It cracked open, light and distortion spilling out like leaking chaos.
Jai grinned — wicked and divine.
"Surprise."
---
POV: The Outer Beings – Gods, Kings, and Cosmic Nightmares
In a higher void where existence itself dared not form, they watched:
Lucifer (DC)
Azathoth and his eldritch brood
Scarlet King
SCP-3812
The One Below All
The Great Evil Beast
Chaos King (Marvel)
Allied Mastercomputer
The Judge
The Qu
SCP-682
Hajun
The Crimson King
The Great Darkness
Nyarlathotep
They all observed… confused.
Lucifer: "Did… did he just kill mid-tier eldritch horrors… with a water pistol?"
Azathoth's child: "...Filled with normal water."
SCP-3812: "Wait. Now he's—wait—he's seducing one of them??"
Crimson King: "Hold on. Where did that trout come from?!"
Chaos King: "Why are the high-level ones wearing tutus—OH MY VOID THEY'RE DOING A BALLERINA DANCE—AND DIED??"
Nyarlathotep: "Did he make a thousand eldritch abominations commit seppuku?"
SCP-682: "Now they're doing yoga and died."
The Qu: "...They're watching Charlie Chaplin and spontaneously dying??"
Great Darkness: "Oh come on. The Egyptian Dance? MICHAEL JACKSON MOONWALK?!"
Lucifer: "Why are they praying? And why does he shine like a celestial prophet?"
Jai, smiling like a messiah of madness, whispered,
"Don't worry. My sins will be washed… when you die."
A wave of light and darkness collapsed reality — and world-sized eldritch exploded into nothing.
Scarlet King: "He's… grilling them like marshmallows—why?"
Hajun: "Is that pizza? Where did he get pizza?"
The Judge: "He's… performing a Satanic ceremony??"
One eldritch wore a priest's garb, lifted a holy book in its tentacle and shouted in a gurgled scream:
"By the name of Azathoth, BEGONE!"
It died immediately.
Then… silence.
Suddenly, everyone froze.
Before each cosmic entity appeared a neat bento box, sealed with wax paper and a Korean finger heart sticker.
The One Below All: "…what… the hell…"
The Great Evil Beast: "I think I love him. I think I fear him."
Lucifer, chuckling: "He's not chaos. He's the punchline."
SCP-682, whispering: "We're all… the joke."
---
And in the distance, Jai sat on a floating throne of bones and giggling voids, munching on pizza with hot sauce, eyes glowing as he simply said:
"Round two?"