The Mercenaries of Mayhem were riding high on their success, marching back to town with the Arcane Eye in their possession.
They decided to set camp near a forest when the sun was low.
Jim stretched. "Again, we pulled off another job without anything going horribly wrong."
Marcus adjusted his crossbow. "I mean, unless someone betrays us on the way."
Derek sighed. "Don't say that. You'll jinx—"
Bob clapped his hands together. "Alright, boys! Time to celebrate with a big meal!"
Kain, stirring a pot of stew, smirked. "Good idea. You've earned it."
Jim, taking a sniff, whistled. "Damn, that actually smells amazing. You can also cook?"
Kain laughed. "Of course, let me cook."
Then...
They ate. They drank. They immediately fell unconscious.
Bob snapped awake hours later, his head pounding. "Ugh… what happened?"
Jim groaned, rolling over. "I had a weird dream that Kain drugged us and—"
Marcus, sitting up, pointed at the empty bag that previously held the Arcane Eye.
Silence.
Derek, rubbing his temple, muttered, "Oh. Son of a—"
Bob growled, kicking over a pot. "KAIN BETRAYED US!"
Jim sat up, looking deeply offended. "I actually liked that guy!"
Marcus sighed. "Why did you let him cook? We should've seen this coming."
Derek crossed his arms. "And now we have to go back to town and explain why we don't have the artifact."
Jim groaned. "Oh gods. We're gonna get yelled at again."
The Mercenaries of Mayhem entered the mercenary guild, already preparing for the worst.
Unfortunately, they were not prepared enough.
Because standing right there, in the middle of the guild hall, was their noble client—a tall, elegant man in expensive clothes, arms crossed, looking at them with an expression that could only be described as "I expected garbage, but this is somehow worse."
Bob immediately stiffened. "Uh-oh."
Jim winced. "I hate that look."
The noble sighed heavily after seeing them. "So. You failed."
Bob forced a grin. "I wouldn't say failed… more like… unexpectedly delayed."
Marcus nodded. "Yes. The mission is still… in progress."
The noble rubbed his forehead. "Do you have the Arcane Eye?"
Derek muttered, "No…"
The noble exhaled sharply. "You were personally recommended to me by Lady Evelyn. I expected competence."
Jim snorted. "Then you expected wrong."
The noble ignored him. "I trusted you. I even defended you when my peers questioned your ability."
Bob scratched his head. "Well, uh… technically, we did get the artifact! Briefly!"
The noble's eye twitched. "And then?"
Silence.
Jim sighed. "And then we got drugged, and it was stolen."
The noble looked deeply unimpressed.
Derek crossed his arms. "It was by Kain. Our so-called ally."
Marcus nodded. "So if anything, it's his fault."
The noble gave them the longest, most judging stare yet.
Bob, sweating, tried to change the subject. "...Hey, uh. Why did you want the Arcane Eye anyway?"
The noble hesitated. "That is none of your concern."
Jim narrowed his eyes. "Ohhh, suspicious."
Marcus smirked. "Yeah, yeah, what's the real reason? It lets you see invisible things, right?"
Bob grinned. "You're not gonna use it for perverted reasons, are you?"
The entire guild went silent, paying attention to them.
The noble's entire face darkened. "WHAT?"
Jim nodded, rubbing his chin. "Yeah, yeah. Imagine, you're in a fancy mansion, right? Servants everywhere—BUT YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING."
Bob wiggled his eyebrows. "Peepin' into the royal baths, huh?"
Marcus gasped dramatically. "A noble of such high standing resorting to such lowly tactics?"
Derek buried his face in his hands. "Why are we like this?"
The noble looked absolutely furious. "You—you absolute idiots!"
Jim shrugged. "Hey, I'm just saying. A guy with too much money wants an artifact that lets him see invisible things? Highly suspicious."
The noble slammed his hand on the counter. "I WANTED IT FOR HISTORICAL RESEARCH, YOU IMBECILES!"
Bob, grinning, leaned on the counter. "Suuuure you did."
The noble looked like he was about to explode.
By this point, the entire guild hall was watching the argument.
Derek sighed. "We should probably go before this gets worse."
Bob nodded. "Yeah, before they make us pay for something again."
Jim raised his flask. "Retreat?"
And with that, the Mercenaries of Mayhem walked out of the guild, leaving behind a furious noble, a confused crowd, and their reputation once again in question.