The Mercenaries of Mayhem climbed the mountain once again, grumbling the entire way.
Bob wiped sweat off his forehead. "Alright, guys. Same as last time. We go in, we talk, and—"
SNAP.
Bob immediately fell into a pit trap.
Jim sighed. "Again?!"
Marcus peered over the edge. "Yup. Same pit."
Bob groaned from the bottom. "I hate this mountain."
Bam nodded. "A tradition now."
Derek sighed, helping Bob climb out. "Let's just get this over with."
The group finally entered the dragon's lair—exactly as they had left it. Shelves of books, a neat stack of cushions, and a massive red-scaled dragon sitting in the center, wearing tiny reading glasses.
The dragon looked up from its book and sighed.
"Oh, you guys again."
Jim crossed his arms. "We are not happy to be back either."
The dragon snapped the book shut and tilted its head. "What do you want now?"
Bob cleared his throat. "Sooo, funny thing… turns out the mayor thinks we killed you. And now that you're burning trees again, people are freaking out."
Jim smirked. "So! We have two options—either you stop existing or we all get in trouble."
The dragon narrowed its eyes. "And what happens if I tell you to leave me alone?"
Derek crossed his arms. "Then they'll hire a real dragon slayer."
The dragon stared at them for a long moment.
Then sighed deeply. "What a hassle."
The group nodded in agreement.
The dragon tapped a claw against its chin. "Your home—it's on the outskirts of town, correct?"
Bob blinked. "Uh. Yeah?"
Marcus squinted. "Why?"
The dragon smirked. "It sounds like a quiet place."
Then, before anyone could react, the dragon's form shimmered with magic—its massive body shrinking, scales vanishing, limbs reshaping—until standing before them was…
A young girl.
With long, flowing red hair, sharp crimson eyes, and a confident smirk.
She stretched, rolling her shoulders. "Haven't used a humanoid form in a while. Feels weird."
Jim stared. "What. The. Hell."
Marcus pointed. "Did you just polymorph?!"
The dragon—now a girl—grinned. "Yes. Makes things easier."
Bob scratched his head. "Wait, where's all your stuff?"
She waved a hand. "Subspace magic."
Jim threw his hands up. "Oh, of course. Why not?!"
Derek rubbed his temples. "Okay. What's your plan?"
The dragon-girl smirked.
"I'm coming to live with you."
Silence.
Bob blinked. "What."
Jim pointed at her. "You're saying you're gonna move into our house?"
She nodded. "Yep. From the start, this is your fault anyway."
Marcus groaned. "We're bringing a dragon home."
Bam, after a long pause, simply said, "There are exceptions."
Jim threw his hands in the air. "We came here to slay a dragon. Instead, we got a new roommate."
Bob sighed. "This is gonna be a problem, isn't it?"
Derek nodded. "Absolutely."
And just like that, the Mercenaries of Mayhem accidentally obtained a new member.