Blade & Metal Raven - Like Deadpool in the DC Universe.

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While Blade and Raven were walking back to the Titans' headquarters, Blade was talking non-stop, as if he were in a live TV interview with the reader.

"Well, what a fucking fun day! Got myself a little fucking psychological trauma, received a lesson in gravity physics, but most importantly… I won the psychological war against Raven! Well, not exactly, but she didn't kill me, so I'll count that as a point for me."

He glanced at Raven, who completely ignored him and kept walking calmly. Smirking mischievously, he turned back toward the reader.

"Looks like my fucking pride got wrecked after what happened earlier, but I want Raven to be mine!"

He looked at Raven again, expecting her to hit him with some sarcastic remark, but she only let out a long sigh, as if she had already gotten used to his nonsense.

"Fine, ignore me all you want, but one day, you'll admit that I'm a philosophical genius and an amazing lover!"

They arrived at the Titans' headquarters, and as they opened the door, everyone was there, sitting in the living room. Starfire was smiling happily, Cyborg was snacking, Beast Boy was his usual excited self, but most importantly… Robin.

Robin was standing there, still holding his broken hand. It was clear he had been waiting for their return, with a look on his face that suggested he had something important to say.

"Blade, I… I want to say that I—"

But before he could finish, Blade immediately cut him off, raising his hand as if stopping a live broadcast.

"Ah ah ah! Stop right there, Bird Leader! I don't wanna hear any apologies, no tears, and definitely no Mexican drama. We're superheroes, not in some tragic soap opera!"

Then he stepped closer, looking at Robin's broken hand before flashing a wicked grin.

"Ooooh, my God! Did you break your hand?! Need help carrying stuff? Maybe you want me to write a little apology letter to Batman for you? Oh, don't worry, I can even feed you your first spoonful of soup! Just like a little baby! Or better yet, I can help you with—"

Robin said nothing, just sighed and lowered his head slightly. He didn't need to hear more. Blade didn't want an apology; this was just his way of telling everyone that he was back to normal. His way of resolving problems… was through sarcasm and light bullying.

Robin looked at him for a second, then gave a small smile, realizing that Blade wasn't actually holding a grudge. This was just Blade being Blade… annoying, sarcastic, but somehow… part of the family now.

In the background, Beast Boy was trying to hold back his laughter, while Cyborg shook his head and said,

"Man… this clown can't take anything seriously."

As for Starfire, she simply smiled happily, then turned to Robin and innocently asked,

"Robin, would you like me to feed you the soup?"

At that moment, Beast Boy burst into laughter, Raven gave a small smirk, and Robin exhaled sharply, knowing that there was no way he'd get through this day without more teasing.

—

The Next Morning

Everyone woke up to the sound of loud music shaking the walls of the headquarters—a blast of electric guitars screaming as if they were part of an epic battle between gods.

"What the hell?! Are we under attack?!" Robin yelled as he jumped out of bed, while Starfire floated in the air, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

Beast Boy stumbled out of his room, half-asleep, his hair a mess and his eyes barely open. He mumbled in a drowsy voice,

"Oh no… are we in hell?! Or are spirits haunting us now?!"

Cyborg, who had been trying to sleep after fixing the security system all night, stormed into the hallway, looking like he was about to explode.

"Man! It's six in the damn morning! Who the hell thinks this is a good time for a rock concert?!"

Everyone made their way toward Blade's room and started banging on the door.

"Blade! Open the damn door!" Robin shouted.

"Perhaps he is performing one of his strange morning rituals?" Starfire wondered, tilting her head curiously.

"Or maybe he just woke up and decided to be a DJ!" Beast Boy said with a laugh.

But Blade didn't respond. The only thing that continued was the deafening music.

Cyborg attempted to override the security system to open the door—only to realize… it was completely locked. Blade had messed with the system, making it impossible to hack.

"Oh, hell no… tell me he didn't do this," Cyborg groaned.

"What do you mean?" Robin asked suspiciously.

"He changed the security settings on the door… and now I can't override it!"

Finally, Raven sighed and stepped forward. She raised her hand and knocked on the door calmly.

"Blade… open the door, or I'll open a portal that sends you to another dimension where this music plays for all eternity."

At that moment, the music stopped abruptly. A few moments of silence passed. Then Blade's voice came from inside:

"Oh, why didn't you just say so from the start? I would've turned it down before being threatened with eternal musical damnation!"

A few seconds later, the door cracked open slightly, revealing Blade's face—wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that there was no sunlight inside.

"What do you guys want?"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Robin snapped.

Blade grinned widely and replied innocently,

"I just wanted to make something I used back in my world!"

That immediately caught Cyborg's curiosity. He peeked into the room, but all he saw were tables covered with weapons, gadgets, and maps.

"Well, well, well… now I wanna know exactly what the hell you're making."

Blade looked at him for a moment, then smirked mischievously and said,

"Ah, my dear Cyborg… if I tell you, I'll have to kill you. Not because I want to, but because I'm literally writing that into the script right now!"

Then he turned toward the reader and whispered,

"Yeah, you won't know either… unless you keep reading!"

After Blade shut the door, the music lowered to a reasonable level—only to be replaced by something even darker. Black metal blasted from the speakers as if the demons of hell were throwing a rave inside his room.

Hello, it's me, the writer. Sorry for my delay I had a technical issue with my computer, so I sincerely apologize to you all.

Outside, Raven stood with her arms crossed, staring at the door before calmly saying, without even knocking,

"I like death metal too."

Inside the room, there was a sudden crashing sound, followed by objects hitting the floor and Blade's panicked yelling:

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Who the hell put that can there?! And where the fuck did this sword come from?! AND WHY IS THERE A FUCKING PIGEON IN MY ROOM?!"

Then, slowly, the black metal music faded… and was replaced by brutal death metal—deep growls and screams that sounded like a monster crawling out from the depths of hell.

Outside, Raven smirked lightly and said in a calm voice,

"I'd love to hear it even louder."

Inside, Blade froze for a few seconds. Then, a look of pure challenge spread across his face, as if he had just met his greatest rival.

"Oh… alright then, mysterious witch…"

Suddenly, the volume shot up to its maximum. The walls shook. The windows rattled. Even Robin, who was in the kitchen, felt his heart pounding to the rhythm of the murderous drums.

Beast Boy, who had been drinking juice, froze in place. The cup slipped from his hand as he screamed,

"We're going to hell, aren't we?!"

Cyborg clamped his metal hands over his ears and shouted,

"This isn't music, this is official sonic torture!"

Robin, trying to keep his composure, stormed up to the door and banged on it furiously.

"Blade! Turn it the fuck down or I'm breaking this door down now!"

But from inside, Blade's voice came, screaming in sync with the music,

"Oh, Robin! I can't hear you over the sound of GREATNESS! I want you to feel it in your BONES!"

Then he turned to the reader and whispered,

"And you too, dear reader… if you're not headbanging to this right now, you don't have a dick that pleases women!"

Raven stood there, a rare smile on her lips as the music roared through the hall like a demonic storm.

Meanwhile, Robin kept slamming his fist against the door, his face contorted with fury, his eyes practically burning with rage.

"Blade! Open this damn door or I'll—!"

Cyborg, now sitting on the floor, was laser-focused on hacking the system, his eyes locked onto the screen in his hand as he muttered,

"Alright, man… let's see how long you last before I shut this madness down!"

But in the corner, Beast Boy… was completely different.

Instead of protesting, he had disappeared for a moment and returned wearing a black shirt with a skull on it, a black headband tied around his forehead, and he was headbanging like a maniac to the music. He even screamed excitedly:

"HELL YEAH! THIS IS MY MUSIC!"

Meanwhile, Starfire was floating in the air, looking around in confusion before asking in a quiet voice:

"But… why is everyone trying to stop Blade's sacred ritual? Is it part of his culture?"

Robin looked at her, trying to find a logical response, but before he could say anything, the door suddenly swung open on its own—Cyborg had finally hacked the system. The music blasted louder than ever, like a monster breaking free from its cage.

Inside, Blade stood in the middle of the room, holding a strange-looking metal object, his face twisted into a crazed grin. He slowly turned to face them, then shouted at the top of his lungs while raising his hand into the air:

"Welcome to HELLFEST! Who wants a one-way ticket?!"

Then, the door slammed shut automatically without him even touching it.

Cyborg stood there, staring at his screen in shock, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"Impossible… The system is adapting to hacks on its own?!"

Robin scowled at him, then banged on the door angrily again.

"Blade! Open the damn door NOW or I'm breaking in myself!"

From inside, they heard Blade laughing maniacally before responding in his usual sarcastic tone:

"Oh, Robin, Robin, Robin… How many times do I have to explain this to you? You can't threaten someone who doesn't take threats seriously! Also, if you break the door, you're paying for it. And trust me, I put a huge budget into this security system!"

Cyborg tried hacking into the system again, but this time, a message popped up on his screen:

"One more step, and I will replace all your favorite songs with children's music—FOREVER."

Cyborg froze in place, then slowly looked at the others with a horrified expression.

"I think I… I'm gonna sit this one out."

Beast Boy, meanwhile, was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard that tears streamed down his face as he pounded his fist against the ground.

"I SWEAR, I LOVE THIS GUY! HE'S A LIVING LEGEND!"

Raven was still standing there, arms crossed, her quiet smile lingering. Then, she murmured in a low voice, barely audible:

"Finally… someone who understands good music."

Robin, who was about to explode from sheer frustration, turned around furiously and stormed off, muttering under his breath:

"This is over… The second that door opens, I'm making him beg for mercy."

But inside, Blade was grinning slyly as he returned to his mysterious work, murmuring to himself:

"Let them try… The real show hasn't even started yet."