JUDE
"What are you two doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for the concert?"
"The concert?"
"Yes!" rin is looking at Miko and me with a confused look. "We are going to a concert tonight as part of the welcome party for you," Rin explains as he looks between Miko and me.
I had forgotten about that. How long have we been away? I have been with Miko the entire day and time and memory seem to have escaped me.
"Okay, we will get ready and meet you downstairs," Miko grabs my hand and pulls me away from Rin's bedroom door.
"Hey, don't think I didn't notice that you ignored all my texts and calls miko!" rin shouts at him but he starts running, dragging me along.
I can't help but giggle as we ascend the stairs to our floor. "Did you really ignore him?"
"He texts too much, and I was busy too."
He doesn't let go of my hand as we reach our doors and he pauses before letting my hand go. "I will get ready then."
I wonder if I am the only one who is feeling the sudden tension that suddenly envelops the atmosphere around us.
"I don't know what to wear!" I burst out rubbing the back of my neck.
"Oh," he smiles and I find it hard to look away. This boy is simply too magnetic. "The staff must have given you an outfit for the night."
"The staff? Wait, like a loan? And how did they know I didn't have anything to wear?"
Miko laughs as he takes my hand again, the second time this evening and I hate the way I am acutely aware of it all. He opens my door and we walk in. Sure enough, on the bed, there is a *bag suit*.
"Wanna bet if it's a suit?"
"Why would I go to a concert in a suit?" I look at him with a puzzled look.
"Because we aren't going to the concert as regulars, we are in the VIP. These are our senior brothers in EZ Entertainment. We are there to show support and also to introduce you to the public."
As I am listening to his explanation, something stirkes me. "Wait, so how could you forget that we were to go to this concert?"
"I never did."
"…"
"I just wanted to spend more time with you today without the pressure of tonight."
"Is that why you also ignored Rin?"
"He is very clingy."
"He is your friend. How can you treat him like that?"
He shrugs and that leaves me with more questions. "Are you going to ignore my texts too at some point since we are friends now?"
"How can I ever ignore your texts?"
"…"
"I would love it even more if you got clingy."
The suit turns out to be fitting which makes me remember the time the staff took my measurements on everything. This must be the reason.
I style my hair lightly, the growing bangs falling gently on my eyes and the white suit fitting perfectly. I look at myself in the full mirror in the room.
I look unrecognizable… but good.
I step out, eyes already seeking miko's door but we happen to be stepping out at the same time. I freeze in place when I look at him because …
Our eyes lock for a solid five seconds before I look away, flustered. "All done?"
"Yeah," he clears his throat but I don't dare look at him again. I avoid eye contact or even being close to him as I make my way downstairs, feeling his presence behind me.
The whole group piles in the group's van and make our way to the concert. Everyone is either talking or on their phone while I am looking outside the window. I avoid looking at the person seated behind me. I can feel him, sometimes I can swear he is looking at me but I don't turn to look behind and confirm.
I don't know what's going on. Since when do I get such reactions from people? No, not just people, when did I start getting such reactions from a boy? When we were in the dance studio, it was cozy, comfortable and when he told me those words …
I believed him, I took them and held them close to my heart. They are embedded in my heart. I wanted to take them as a friendship pact, but … I can't ignore the way my stomach fluttered at that moment.
How could I forget the way he looked at me too? Do friends act this way? Have I been to hermit that I am taking everything too far? Is it that I am overthinking?
Am I just lonely?
By the time the car stops, I am more confused than when I got inside the van. Who thinks about how their friend looks so hot and sexy in a black suit? Who thinks about their friend as a black horse, in compliment of his white suite?
Who looks at their friend that way and starts having thoughts like that?
"I have been lonely and far too touch-deprived."
"What? Did you say something?" rex, who is beside me asks me as we are being led to the concert through one of the back doors, away from the people attending the concert.
"No, I am just talking to myself," I tell him and he pats my back.
"Nervous? I understand. But I got you, don't worry," he holds my hand and I appreciate the gesture.
I have never been to a concert this big before. My eyes are wide as I take it all in, kind of glad rex is holding my hand as we are led to our vip seats.
"Whoa." So many lights, so many seats … such a big stadium … wow!
Manager Woo directs us to our seats. "You guys have fun, I will find you later on to take some pictures okay?"
"Okay," rin waves for us to take a seat as he follows manager woo to speak with him.
"These seats are nice! Our serious brothers are too generous," Rex rubs his palms together as we get to our seats. I am right next to Miko, who smiles up at me as I sit next to him.
"The company is generous, not them," zein sits next to me on the other side, rex taking he seat next to miko on his left.
There are other groups all around us, some waving to my band members but I don't know either of them, so I sit back and quietly observe everything.
My knee starts to bounce, feeling the excitement that growing from the audience all around us. The stage is raised so that the performers can be seen easily, and I wonder what they are doing behind them.
Are they umped? Nervous? Do they feel the chants of the audience as they wait for them? Call for them?