Felix Reynehart had only one goal that morning: survive breakfast without invoking a minor catastrophe.
He nearly succeeded—until a talking cake exploded.
But we'll get there.
First, there was Marissa. Still wearing Felix's oversized sleep shirt with her hair in a lopsided braid, pacing the kitchen like a strategic general planning a war campaign against jam.
"I have three client hearings today," she muttered. "One wants to sue a weather witch for selling faulty sunshine. Another refuses to pay dragon rent. And the last... wants legal ownership over the moon."
Felix blinked from his perch on the countertop. "Is that legal?"
"Which part?"
"Any of it."
She sighed and slathered toast with aggressive peanut butter. "Welcome to magical law."
Felix grinned. "You're cute when you threaten bread."
"I'm threatening logistics. The bread is a bystander."
He liked mornings like this. She pretended to be grumpy, and he pretended not to watch the way she moved around his space like she'd always belonged there.
And maybe she did.
They hadn't talked about The Trial. The one where they declared things—terrifying, emotional, explosive things—in front of a centaur judge and several enchanted doves. But the silence wasn't awkward. It was loaded, yes, but with possibility.
Still, Felix was starting to itch.
Because possibility without follow-through was like a spell without focus—it could go very wrong.
---
BANG.
The front door blasted open.
Standing in the hallway, covered in confetti and righteous indignation, was a three-foot-tall gremlin in a smoking postal uniform.
"Felix Reynehart!" it screeched. "You've been summoned!"
Felix blinked. "By whom?"
"The Interdimensional Familiar Guild! Code Violet. You owe us one magical debt and a formal breakup form!"
Marissa dropped her toast.
"You have a familiar ex?" she said.
"Technically," Felix mumbled. "It's not what it sounds like."
"Oh good," she snapped. "Because it sounds like you're magically married to someone else."
"Familiar bonds are not marriages," the gremlin grumbled. "But this one was... emotionally complicated."
Felix winced.
Marissa folded her arms. "Felix. Explain."
He scratched his neck. "Okay, so. A few years ago, I accidentally entered a Familiar Bond Trial Zone. Thought it was a pop-up tavern. There was a dare. A chaos ritual. A sentient fern. Long story short—I ended up bound to a shape-shifting phoenix named Nyra."
The gremlin coughed. "Technically Lady Nyra Flamefeather, Duchess of Cindersong, Champion of the Ember Rift."
Marissa turned slowly. "You had a noble phoenix familiar ex?"
Felix raised his hands. "She was mostly fire! It was a platonic fusion of emotional energy and power-sharing—"
"She sent you cake!"
Indeed, on the floor where the gremlin had appeared was a box. Labeled "To My Once-Beloved Spark-Muffin."
Inside was a cake. Shimmering, pulsing, and whispering what sounded suspiciously like R&B lyrics.
And then it exploded in glitter.
Marissa blinked through the shimmer cloud. "Is this a normal Tuesday for you?"
"I'd say it's mildly dramatic."
"You need to go see her."
Felix blinked. "What?"
"You owe her closure. You're tangled in legal and magical loose ends. Also—if I get glitter in my client files again, I'm hexing your eyebrows off."
Felix sighed. "Fine. I'll go."
"Good."
She paused.
"Want me to come?"
Felix tried not to smile too hard.
"Only if you promise not to duel a firebird out of jealousy."
"I promise nothing."
---
The Ember Rift
They arrived via portal circle. The Ember Rift realm glowed with constant sunset, fiery mountains, and floating islands of obsidian. The air smelled like cinnamon and chaos.
Lady Nyra descended like a goddess of winged fire, her hair literal flames, her voice like crackling bonfires.
"Felix," she said. "You brought your... lawyer."
Marissa smiled sweetly. "Hi. I'm also his wife."
Nyra blinked. "He married a mortal lawyer? That's... tragically predictable."
"Nice to see you too, Your Flame-y-ness."
Felix cleared his throat. "Nyra. I'm here to dissolve our bond properly. I didn't know it was still active."
She raised an elegant eyebrow. "It never truly broke. You kept the ember pendant. You whispered my name during a hangover spell. And once, you sent me a mixtape."
Marissa turned. "You made her a mixtape?"
"I was trying to be respectful!"
Nyra summoned a pedestal. "Then let the Trial of Unbinding begin. You must face the flames of emotional honesty, reveal all unresolved feelings, and survive the Trial of Regret."
Marissa folded her arms. "Sounds healthy."
Felix groaned. "This is going to get weird, isn't it?"
Nyra grinned. "Very."
---
Trial One: The Flames of Emotional Honesty
A circle of fire surrounded Felix and Nyra. A magical orb floated above them, glowing with truth.
"State your unresolved feelings," the orb intoned.
Felix stepped forward. "Nyra... you were brilliant. Fiery. You helped me survive a brutal year. But you burned too hot. I lost pieces of myself trying to match you. I'm not the same man I was. I need balance. And... I found it with Marissa."
The orb flared.
Nyra's flames dimmed.
She whispered, "I wondered if you would say that. I always did burn everything I loved."
She stepped back.
The orb floated to Marissa. "You may speak."
Marissa raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I've got plenty to say. But let's keep it classy. I don't care how many wings or titles you have—Felix chose me. Not because I'm flashy. But because I see him. All of him. Even the annoying parts."
"Hey," Felix said.
She went on. "And I'm not threatened by your fire. I've been through worse. I am worse. I'm a lawyer."
The orb trembled.
Then... sparkled.
"Honesty accepted."
---
Trial Two: The Gauntlet of Regret
Felix had to walk through a corridor of illusion, facing visions of his worst moments. Times he'd let people down. Chased ego. Lied to protect pride.
Marissa watched through the glass barrier.
In one vision, Felix refused to say goodbye to a dying mentor.
In another, he used charm instead of truth to escape a failing relationship.
And in the final one—he watched a version of himself walk away from Marissa.
But this time... he didn't.
He turned. Ran back. Grabbed her hand.
The corridor shattered.
He stepped out, tears in his eyes.
"I'm done running."
---
Nyra Releases Him
Lady Nyra stood silent.
Then, slowly, she removed a glowing feather from her heart.
She handed it to Felix.
"This is yours. The last ember. You may keep it... or burn it."
Felix turned to Marissa.
She nodded.
He took the feather.
And let it fall into the wind.
It burned, bright and beautiful.
Nyra nodded. "Then we are free."
Then—she vanished into ash.
---
Aftermath
Back at home, Marissa curled up on the couch with Felix, both of them still smelling faintly like cinnamon and closure.
"You okay?" she asked.
He nodded. "You?"
"Still processing the part where your ex called me tragically predictable."
"She meant it as a compliment."
"She lit a loveseat on fire."
Felix chuckled. "You were amazing today."
"So were you."
He hesitated.
Then said, "I meant what I said. You're my balance."
She leaned on his shoulder. "And you're my chaos. We work."
They sat in silence.
Then Marissa said, "So... does this mean I don't have to cross-examine any more of your exes?"
"No promises."
She groaned. "I'm raising your insurance premium."
He laughed.
And the couch didn't even explode.