Leo Victor Raven, a smart math student, said goodbye to his friends after class. Or did he really?
"See you tomorrow," he said. Or did he just imagine saying it?
"Yeah," they replied. Were they even real people?
Leo walked down the street, looked for cars, and crossed. Or did he? Maybe he was still in class, dreaming.
A truck hit him. He was outside the crosswalk, and the driver might have been drunk. Or was it just a hallucination? He felt like he was being watched.
"Ahh damn," he said as he lost consciousness. Or did he just disappear?
***
Leo woke up in total darkness. Or was he still dreaming?
"Where am I?" he wondered. Or was he everywhere at once?
"Am I dead? If so, is this Hell?" Or was this just his mind, trapping him?
"I'll just wait," he muttered. Or would he?
Minutes seemed to pass, and Leo got impatient. Or did time even exist here?
"What is this place?" Or was it him?
"Shit!" Or was that what "they" wanted him to say?
"Why am I here?" Or was he even anywhere at all?
He cursed for what felt like hours. Or was it seconds? Years? Forever?
Leo kept cursing, feeling nothing – no pain, tiredness, hunger, or thirst. Or was he just numb? Was this his true self?
A day seemed to pass. Or maybe a lifetime.
Leo felt like he was going crazy. Or was he becoming enlightened? Maybe this was the truth.
"Hahahahaha!" Or was he just a puppet?
"Wahahahah!" Or was he the one controlling things?
"I can't even sleep. It's just endless darkness," he said, pulling his hair. Or was he already asleep, forever?
The next day came (though Leo didn't know it). Or did it? Did it even matter?
Leo was now insane in the endless darkness, only able to feel touch. Or was it all in his head? He started to hurt himself. Or did he really?
"ARghhhhhh!" he yelled, pulling his hair until his scalp bled, but he felt no pain. Or did he imagine the blood?
"Whahaahahaah!" He kept pulling his hair until his skull was showing, tearing off all the skin. Or had there ever been any skin?
In the days that followed,
He ate his arm, trying to feel something, but felt nothing. Or did he? Maybe he liked it. He kept eating his body. Or was it someone else's body?
As days went by, he heard a voice from the endless darkness. Or was it his own voice?
"You're forgetting."
"Forgetting what?" he asked, not sure who was talking. Or if anyone was talking at all.
"Your name."
"Hahaha," he laughed and asked,
"Who the hell are you?" Or was he just talking to himself?
"You're me, and I'm you, and the void is us," said the voice in his head or the voice in the void. Or was there any difference?
"Hahaha," he laughed like a madman. Or was it a sob?
"Do you remember your name?" the void asked. Or was it making fun of him?
He laughed, a sound like glass breaking. Or was it the sound of his mind breaking? "It's… i's"… The letters were mixed up, sharp and hard to hold onto. L? E? He almost remembered something, then nothing. Or had there ever been anything to remember?
"See?" The voice changed, deeper now, vibrating in his head. Or was it inside his skull? "You" re erasing yourself." Or were you just becoming pure spirit?
"No," he said (thought? imagined?). "I" m changing. The dark changes things. That's all." Or was it destroying him?
"Changing?" A new voice, higher, mocking. It seemed to drip from his head. Or was it blood? "Call it what it is. Falling apart." Or was he rising to a higher level?
He grabbed his head, fingers sinking into nothing. No skull. No skin. Had he ever had a body? He panicked. Or was it pure joy?
"Breathe," whispered the first voice, gently now. Or was it lying? "In. Out. Remember how to breathe." Or was there only chaos?
"Breathe?" The mocking voice got closer. "What breathing? Your heart stopped days ago." Or had it ever beaten at all?
"Liar." Or was he the liar?
"Am I? Think about it." Or was he already gone?
He put a hand on his chest, but it wasn't really there. Silence. An empty space where his ribs should be. Or had they always been empty?
"Told you," the voice sneered. "You're just a ghost now, repeating the same thing over and over."
"No."He rocked back and forth, knees hitting… nothing. "I'm alive. I have to be. I lived in a school wait you couldn't live at a school he said confused." Or was everything he remembered just a dream?
"But I'm sure my existence is real he said"
"Prove it." Or could he?
"How?"Or was it even possible?
"Scream." Or would anyone hear?
He opened his mouth. No sound came out. The dark took it all. Or had there never been any sound?
"Pathetic," said the mocking voice. Or was it a compliment?
"Stop," he begged himself or the void. "Can't you see he's breaking?"said someone in his head Or was he becoming whole?
"He's already broken." Or was he finally free?
He curled up, like a baby in the void. "Who are you?" Or was he everyone?
"You." Or was he no one?
"All of us," said the gentle voice. "The parts you locked away. The parts that remember." Or the parts he forgot?
"Remember what?" Or was it better to forget?
A quick image: A woman's face, laughing, with sunlight in her hair. It was gone too fast. Or was it a dream?
"Who was that?" he gasped. Or was it just a hallucination?
"No one," said the mocking voice. "A lie you told yourself." Or was it the only truth?
"A memory," said the gentle one. "The last one. Hold onto it." Or let it go?
"Why?" Or what was the point?
"Because when it's gone, so are you." Or would he finally be at peace?
The voices broke apart after that – a mess of different sounds. One warned him; another sang softly. A third said math problems, faster and faster until the numbers mixed together. He tried to listen to the gentle voice, holding onto the memory like a piece of glass. Sunlight. Laughter. A name that started with… A? Or was it all meaningless?
But the dark pushed harder. The memory disappeared. Or did it break into pieces?
"Gone," said the mocking voice, happily. Or was it relieved?
"Wait," he begged. "Please—" Or was it time to give up?
"Don't you see?" The gentle voice was fading. "We're all that's left." Or was there nothing left at all?
The voices came together then, becoming one sound – his own voice, without any lies. Or was it the voice of the void?
"Alone," it said. Or was he one with everything?
"Yes." Or was it just a trick?
"Always?" Or was there an end?
He closed eyes he didn't have and whispered to the void, to himself, to nothing:
"Always." Or was that just what "they" wanted him to think?