It was a certain elf. Whereas before she looked strong, now she looked… weak.
Angie, at some point, let go of her hand. Trembling. Suna had no words or interjection to give, there was simply too much emotion involved.
Suna liked Cyra, and the other group members, people that she saw claw and struggle for their lives, just as she had done all her life. But she didn't care about them. It was nice seeing Cyra alive, but it wasn't an upheaval of the world. This was why she couldn't interfere, or connect, with Angie and her reaction. All she could do was look on at her back in suspenseful rapt anticipation, that her Light wouldn't be shaken or fade from this, from the pain and suffering she was going through. As Angie saw her Mother, lurched over at the foot of a bar, motionless, emitting an air not too different than the poor crucified souls.
Angie trembled. Her feet wouldn't listen to her. She was simply going through too much, a million different emotions colliding and clashing with each other all at once in some sort of implosion of her heart. She hurt. Her chest hurt. She clenched at her chest, her face wrought with sorrow, empathic pain. She couldn't take it any longer.
She dashed for the lone figure, that sat at a corner of the decently sized room. "Mom!! MOM!! MOM!!"
She didn't care about the onlookers, only one thing in her sight. The figure did not seem to notice her.
She ran up to the side of the woman, putting her hands on her, pushing her back and forth, getting her to wake up from her stupor.
"Mom!! Mom!!! It's me!! I'm here!"
But the figure didn't move, her mutters too quiet.
"Mom!! Mom, don't leave me!! Please…! Please… Mom…" Angie's legs crumpled, she cried, sobbed, sniffled, as she leaned into the elf's legs that were suspended by a barstool. She cried into her legs, legs that lost their strong, weighty-yet-focused circumference. That looked closer to branches, that could be snapped by a hard wind.
Suna walked over to Cyra. She pulled her shoulders off the bar, causing her attention to fall sloppily on Suna, and smacked her.
The bar was silent. Angie's cries only let out what she couldn't stifle. The air could be poked with a knife. The elven figure was motionless, her bangs covering her eyes.
…
At some point, some form of erratic exhalation could be heard. Which developed into sniffling. Into sobbing. The look on her face. It was unfathomably sorrowful. But, a small, small, faintly visible part of it, it bore something else. Hope.
Slowly, Cyra's body shakily and unsteadily inched closer to Angie. She sort of stumbled, half-fell off the barstool, but she didn't hurt Angie in the process. She wrapped her arms around her, buried her head into Angie's small shoulder, all while the sound of her crying escalated, until her cries started to sound like a child's.
Angie couldn't resist, as her cries started to surge out from somewhere deep within her, as she let up the last few remaining barriers of her heart that withheld her pain, sorrow, surprise, suffering, joy, happiness, that rushed out all at once and with no warning.
The bar was filled with the sounds of pained, emotional, crying.
Of course no one tried to stop them, or tried to move them out of the building, or told them to be quiet. Even as it kept going, they all sat there, in silence, silently observing as if watching a theatrical play. Even Suna felt like just one of them. A third-party observer that could only imagine what the two were feeling in that moment.
There were no words exchanged in that establishment.
-
Suna sat, across from Angie and Cyra, at a table in the opposite corner of the large room. Angie was currently ensnared by Cyra's arms and body, which caressed every inch of her hair, her shoulders, her back, almost as if personally verifying that those things remained unharmed.
"Angie, you've… gotten stronger." Angie gave an innocent look and smile to Cyra as she careened her head backwards to look at her Mother. Her puffy, red eyes and tender skin did not detract from the radiance of her smile, she was happy that Cyra was alive. "You think so? Hehehe…" She bobbed back and forth as she returned to eating a large fish, cooked whole.
The air was heavy, wrought with emotion, such that Suna found it difficult to even utter a sound. But she watched Angie, how she processed and felt and expressed her emotions, she watched intently, as if to uncover and understand how she worked.
Cyra's tender caressing gave one last brush as the elf got up, parting from Angie. She stood up, walked over to where a confused Suna was sitting, and she lowered her body. She placed her head on the ground, unable to bow any further.
"Thank you." Her voice shook. "Thank you for keeping my Daughter safe, thank you, Suna."
The words were solemn. Infused with weight. Suna wasn't sure how to respond.
"No, um, it's fine…" Her voice tapered off, overshadowed by the weight of Cyra's emotions.
But Cyra just kept bowing, her tall body seemingly so small in size as it lay folded up on the floor.
After a little too much time passed, Angie spoke up. "Suna, you're supposed to say 'raise your head', to tell them that they're equal with you."
"Oh, uh, um raise your head, Cyra." A bit flustered, she pushed out the words. Cyra's body slowly lifted itself off the ground.
"I don't have words to express my gratitude, Suna. I really thought that…" Suna shivered, some form of the word 'daughter-killer' being transmitted through a means other than sound or expression.
"Thank you, Suna." Her gaze and head were still downturned, as if there wasn't an end to her gratitude for the small person before her.
"No, Cyra, um, I, I owe my life to her…" She looked at Angie, who exchanged with her a look, of wordless emotion.
Cyra looked back at Angie, her understanding of the events being shaken.
"Hehehe…" Angie looked a bit flustered, in a good way, as her gaze found its way to the side, the occasional fidget appearing here and there. She coughed, stopping herself from basking in the recognition for too long. "Don't get it wrong, without Suna I definitely would have died… But Mom, can you believe it? I learned a Class III spell!!!"
Pure joy and excitement shot out from Angie, attacking and smothering the two bystanders.
"Wha-, that's amazing, Angie!!" Cyra ran over to Angie and gave her a tight hug, squeezing her and twisting her back and forth. Angie lost herself in the joy of the moment, laughter enveloping the two. Their pained hearts were both coming to understand and see Hope, starting to recognize this naive dream of an occurrence as reality, and losing themselves in the moment. Suna could not help but smile, watching the two. So that's where she gets her bubbly energy from…
The two eventually settled down, Cyra allowing Angie to continue eating her food.
"Cyra." Suna had her attention. "The others…"
"Oh! Yeah, I forgot about them! Hahaha, they're fine, thankfully."
Another big surprise was forcefully shoved down Angie's throat, which was already occupied. "Cough, Cough!" She almost choked. "Is, Is that true!?" She turned and looked at Cyra once more, who barely had enough time to even give a nod before she was pounced on, another strong embrace soon being shared between the two.
"Hahahaha, yeah, I mean let me tell you, it wasn't easy that's for sure, hahahah! I mean, seriously, we all pretty much thought we were dead." She looked down at the table in recollection. "We, we'd been chased for days. We couldn't find a place to stop and rest, we had been corralled like sheep, to the point of exhaustion. But, I guess the goddess smiled down on us. We found an exit, through a small natural tunnel that we had to get on our hands and knees to crawl through." She looked up at the ceiling, an appreciation for Ms. Fortune in her eyes. "Krax, he… he's less fit than us. He lagged behind, and we couldn't see him anymore." She paused, in silence. "But, somehow, that bastard kept himself free of all the Geth. Slimy bastard, must've been keeping secrets from us, hahahaha!" She wiped a tear of joy that pooled on her eye, "We all made it out. We, we waited awhile here in New Vall, holding onto some childish, outlandish hope that you guys weren't far behind us. That… But my goddess, I, I just don't know how you two girls made it out all on your own." She looked at Suna. "You, you looked terrible. You were somehow half-running, but you were unconscious, bumping into walls. Hahah, you're almost not human, Suna, Hahaha!"
Angie and Cyra both laughed. "Haha, but seriously. Thank you, Suna, this is a miracle, I can't believe I'm not dreaming, I…" She had no words. None of them were capable of expressing her gratitude. "And you too, Angie, my girl!" She ruffled Angie's mahogany hair, eliciting a bubbly smile. "I'm so, so proud of you. You've grown so big now, my child." Angie fidgeted on Cyra's lap, her hair being caressed lovingly.
"Mom, will you continue travelling with us?" Angie looked at Cyra expectantly.
Cyra gave her a quiet, peaceful look, that contained recognition, love, and pride in her daughter. "Angie…" She didn't rush to form her words. "You…" She stared lovingly at Angie, "you, you're a big girl now. Heheh." She cupped and caressed the side of her daughter's face. "I know it. That if you and Suna stick together, and watch each other's backs… you'll be unstoppable, heheh." She gave a deep smile, one that Angie couldn't stand to mar with her own disappointment. "You don't need a mother to watch over you all the time, now. You can stand, and face this world on your own two feet, you can fight, I can see it in you, Angie." It was getting more and more difficult for Angie to keep her composure, to hide the trembling of her lips, the pain in her expression. She tried to keep a smile on her face, but… "Oh come on, don't look so down! I'll always be around, not far. I'll always hear of the accomplishments of the great Mage, Angie. I'll always be waiting, to hear of all those stories, to check on you, to see that my daughter's doing okay." Cyra herself had a pain in her expression, the pain of departure, but it was overshadowed. By her strong, heavy love for the girl right in front of her. "Okay?"
"Sniff. Okay, Mom…" She burrowed her head into the chest in front of her, as if it would be the last time.
Suna… Suna would be lying if she didn't feel a slight bit of envy. Of resentment. The whole time, all she could think about was her mom. Her mom that was gone. She tried her best to keep her expression neutral, to stop any moisture from reaching her eyes. She didn't want to interrupt their moment together, what clearly was a very important moment for them. But this bitterness was incurable. She resented herself for marring their tender love for each other in this way. But she couldn't help it.
–
"So James went to Maritham to be with his family, and Krax said he didn't have a destination in mind but ended up departing anyway. It's crazy to think." Angie tossed and turned the stones of the past in her mind. "I was picked up by them 8 years ago. 8 years… it's been so long, and now… It's come to an end I guess, huh…" Angie turned to Suna. "I'm really quite tired, I hope you forgive me hehe, mind if we find a room and crash for the day?" Suna just gave her an understanding smile.
It didn't take long for the two to come to an easy-to-spot inn. They paid for a room for the next few days easily, with a lot of money leftover. Suna herself didn't pay much attention to the prices or amounts, she just entrusted it all to Angie. Suna was actually glad to cut the day a bit short, she had a lot to think about.
Suna lay in a bed, tightly grasped by Angie. She knew. That Angie was hurt and pained by Cyra's words. But she also knew. That Angie was resolved to keep going, despite the pain she was feeling. Suna wanted to help Angie along the way, to give her a push on the back whenever she was feeling it.
But the feeling was palpable. It was hard to notice, beyond subtle. It had spread out to every inch of the town, sparing no one. Not Angie, not Cyra, not Ferrix, not any of the common folk she had encountered, and not even herself.
Heaviness.
Suna struggled to wrap her head around this feeling of hers, this sensation she was experiencing. She wasn't the same after her fight with the Geth Commander, something changed within her.
She lay, staring at the ceiling, deep in thought.
Parts of the puzzle were sticking out, and she was determined to piece it together. All these people, they… they've experienced it. This threat. Of death. Blackhearth is merely a week's travel by carriage, yet… As if ignoring it, as if entrusting themselves to their lone caretaker, they continue to live in bliss and ignorance. No, not bliss, but a heavy reality. A heavy bliss, where they pretend to themselves that they aren't in danger, but deep down, they know it.
The group, when I first encountered them, where was this heaviness? They encountered the Geth, but it's obvious. Not to that extent. They explicitly roamed the Outer Edges, far from most of civilization, specifically to get away from the Geth. They carried a liability. But, even this drastic measure was met with nothing but Death. They thought they could run, but they can't. They can't escape this blanket, this heavy blanket, of Death. It looms all over this city, all over this World, most likely…
Suna continued to ponder, letting her mind wander, letting it do the hard work for her.
And I too. I had faced death many times on Yrma. She recollected. But my wit and willpower were sufficient. In a world where my greatest foe was thirst and hunger, when the other people on the planet were all starving and close to death, it was sufficient. But here… I couldn't have beaten that dark knight with merely willpower and wit and luck. This was what she was hung up on. She didn't grasp how she was able to beat them. She knew it wasn't a fluke. She knew that it wasn't simply the case that Ei did everything for her in some convenient act. But she didn't see how this heaviness, the heaviness she experienced ever since the fight with the Commander, helped her when she was close to death. What role it played in her ability to overcome her boundaries and limits. She didn't get it.
It frustrated her. She felt so close, yet so far, to understanding something crucial, something that would allow her to more easily replicate that pure, honed feeling she felt without the need to be on the verge of death. If she fought the dark knight this very moment, she felt that she would lose, and it wouldn't even be close. It was a terrible feeling, a feeling of pointless weakness.
Angie roused, rustled, bringing Suna's small body closer to her, embracing it. Pain was written on her face, she was having a bad dream. She decided not to try and wake her up out of it; it would be very rude and abrupt to wake her up in the middle of the night. So she embraced Angie, a likely futile attempt to assuage her fears, to reassure her that she was with her, that she wasn't going anywhere. Angie seemed to calm down a bit, but she didn't know if she was simply imagining things.
Oh yeah. The flick. That damned flick. It pissed her off. Like she was a small animal, being poked and played with, completely irregardless of the strength of her feelings. She hated it. The feeling of being dwarfed.
It was more than just a fast movement. It was more than that… but Suna didn't know how. All she could do was continue to accrue information, in the slightest hopes that at some point she might have enough to begin to start to piece the puzzle together.
That man… he was strong. And he… he's helpless against the Geth… What is this world? Is it being torn apart? Why don't the Geth just overwhelm and take this city, too? Shouldn't me and Angie and Cyra all be rushing to extricate ourselves as fast as possible? Why are we just naively assuming there's no danger here? I don't get it…
Unfortunately for Suna, her questions spanned a broad breadth of subjects. Some answers she'd get in the near future, but others… Far, far, into a future she couldn't comprehend or even imagine at this time. When the people of Nadeer become smaller and smaller, as she continues to grow, dwarfing them, rendering them pebbles, meaningless pebbles…