Suna awoke to the sounds of crying. She hesitated, unsure if she should try to speak up, or if she should try and bridge the seemingly bottomless gap between their two beds.
So she lay there, staring at the ceiling. Listening to Angie's cries and sobs. She felt bad. She truly did. She wondered if there was some way to escape that dreaded place of Death with all three of their lives intact. But she felt they had so little time. Even if they left the city as soon as they found Cyra, wouldn't they just run into the same legions of troops at some point? She remembered the carriages they passed by on their way towards the city. The reality was… every single one of those people were likely slaughtered. It was truly just a grim set of circumstances, a treacherous reality. She didn't feel they had made a truly avoidable mistake at any point. But did this mean that she felt rid of all guilt, that she could just shrug it all off and say she did her best? The sinking, churning, wrought pit in her stomach told her no.
"I'm sorry about Cyra, Angie."
The crying paused. It was truly a simple, short sentence.
"You… You…" Angie's voice shook, with too many emotions to parse out.
"You… left her to die…" Vitriol.
Suna was terrified.
"N-No, no, what are you talking about…?"
"You left her there… we could have saved her, but you left her there… you stopped me… you…"
No. That's not true! Don't think that!
"A-Angie, no…" She knew she needed tact. She knew Angie was a ticking bomb, and she desperately didn't want to set her off. But she didn't know how she could correct her misunderstanding without a little force.
She took a deep breath. "Angie, it's, it's a miracle that we got out."
"And we could've all gotten out! If it wasn't for you, you coward!!"
Her words, they hurt Suna.
"No… no, Angie… that's not…"
"I can't believe it. I can't believe it! I thought we were friends! I thought, I thought we'd have each other's backs! And yet…"
She didn't need to see to feel Angie's anger, directed right at her.
"Angie, you're mom-"
"Get her out of your mouth! Y-You, You left her to die!"
"No, Angie, I didn't! I didn't leave her!"
"What are you talking about!? She was there, she was right there!!"
"No, Angie…" Suna was crestfallen. "I… I saw her die. Right before my eyes."
Angie trembled. Silent tears streamed down her face. She was being presented with a startling truth, one that she didn't want to accept, one that she didn't want to be true. But she knew. She always knew, deep down.
Crying.
Suna waited. She wanted to give her time and space, to come to terms with her loss.
"Get out."
"Wh-Huh?"
"I said, get out."
Suna was like a deer caught in headlights. Completely startled, struggling to come up with a counter or a solution, yet all the thoughts that popped in her head were too jumbled, their overwhelming meaning becoming, ironically, meaningless.
"No, Angie-"
"Get out!!"
"Wh-Why, Angie?"
"I said Get out!!!"
"Wh-, no-"
Angie got up out of her bed. It was too dark to make out her expression. But her steps were quick, and heavy, and they came right for her.
"Angie, stop-"
"GET OUT!!" Angie's hands assaulted her, erratically reaching and grabbing for Suna's shoulders and body. She made no effort to evade.
She was… too scared. Too scared to move. Something bad was happening, and she didn't know how to stop it. She was… losing her friend.
But she didn't give up. Not even as Angie viciously pulled at her and grabbed her, throwing her to the floor.
"GET OUT!!"
"NO!"
Suna grabbed Angie's arms. Not forcefully. "You're not being yourself! Calm down!"
"NO! GET OUT!!!" She resumed her frantic outburst. Suna fought back, trying to grab at Angie's arms, to get her to slow down, but this only made her swings heavier.
"Angie, I promised-"
A crisp slap. A frozen recipient.
"Angie, Cyra entrusted me-"
Suna was knocked to the floor, her brain rattled. She had suffered many punches, many much harder than this one. But this… it hurt far more than any of them.
Time seemed to stop.
"Oh God, Suna…" Angie's shaking voice, which seemed to be on the verge of breaking.
But Suna couldn't hear it.
She vomited.
I-I-I, I can't, stay here! She felt as if the whole world was crashing down on her, her breathing grew rapid and shallow, her vision blurred and distorted, her mind couldn't process a single thought, her body shivered miserably – she was going to burst.
She pathetically back-crawled away from Angie, toward the door. She couldn't see Angie, all she saw was a blurry silhouette, one that she felt was going to pounce on her, devour her, beat her until she was nothing more than a bloody pulp. And then she ran, taking her pack that hung by the door. She felt that if she stayed any longer, she would have died.
She saw nothing. Not the door she ran out of, nor the buildings she passed by, nor the occasional bystander. Not the closed gate of the town, whose walls she scaled. Nor the passing scenery as she ran further into the wide plains. Somewhere! Somewhere to hide! She ran for her life. That was her first priority. She couldn't even assess the pain in her heart, for anytime her mind wandered to such things, she threw up and cried.
Survive! This one thought was what Suna clung to at her most miserable. And that didn't exclude this time, either.
After endless pained running, after entering the embrace of a forest, after locating a small cave, she delved into it. She found the deepest, darkest corner of that small cave, and she huddled herself as far into it as she could, hiding under her pack. And she sat there. And waited. The whole time, surging panic rising and falling, ebbing and flowing, until her adrenaline at some point wore off, and all that was left… was pain.
–
Angie looked at her hand. She couldn't stop looking at it. The hand that hurt her friend. She thought back to that moment, and a million emotions would emerge from her. But mainly… Pain. Guilt. Torment. Confusion. Why? Why did I do that? What did I just do? Why? As she directed more and more of her attention to her hand, she grew increasingly frustrated and mad with it. As if, it was all her hand's fault.
"AAAAHHHHH!!!" Slam. Slam. Slam! Endlessly, over and over, she bashed and punched and rammed her hand into the wooden floor. It started hurting. It started really hurting. But she continued, not caring at all about her hand.
At some point, the hand grew increasingly deformed, it wasn't able to be hit against the ground as hard. It wasn't accepting its punishment. That was unacceptable.
"Eirykh antra Im, Feredoh!"
The hand magically gained some of its former shape. And she went back, to launching it at the ground, with all of her power and energy.
"AAAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
It was a miserable, pathetic sight. Angie seemed to begin to think as much herself. She saw how miserable and pathetic she was. She cried, not caring how loud her voice got. She didn't care. All she felt, was a crippling pain. In her heart, in her stomach, in her very being. It was all she could do to assuage it even the slightest bit: crying at the top of her lungs, crying her heart out, yelling, hitting the ground, clutching her head, rolling around on the ground, Writhing. It was all her body knew to do, to combat the onslaught of emotions she was being assaulted by.
As the night grew older, as the sky's baby blue started to seep through the windows… Angie lay there, every bit as awake and in pain as she was earlier.
I'm… I'm the worst… I'm a terrible friend… I can't even call myself that… Hahaha, what a joke… I should just…
Her mind fed itself every self-deprecating, self-loathing sentence it could think of. It was how she truly felt. As it started to grow darker and darker, as she could feel herself losing more and more energy, succumbing more and more to some sort of forbidden concept, to Death… she remembered. She remembered Suna's smile. When she first showed her her firework spell. She remembered Suna's gentle, powerful, comforting words when she doubted herself in those dark, miserable caves. She remembered Suna, amidst a sea of complete darkness, standing tall against that terrifying foe. And somehow emerging victorious. She remembered how she put everything on the line to save her after that legendary fight, how she refused to give up, despite every part of her yelling that she and Suna were going to die. She remembered how Suna always refused to give up. And she… she wanted to be just a little bit like her. Like her Light. Like her Hope. She couldn't give up. Because her Hope was still out there.
Angie stood up, shakily, her limbs in various states of miserable disfigurement. She healed herself, again and again, restoring herself to her previous healthy state, somewhat. The pain, in her heart, lingered. But she wasn't just going to admit defeat to it.
She set her eyes on the door. On the person beyond that door. And she resolved herself.