Jay-jay's POV
I suddenly stared at the world map. The Philippines looked like a speck, while New York was more like a blotch. So far away! A whole other part of the world!
Where could Papa be on that map? If I go with him, how long will we stay in New York? What about my studies? What about Grandma? What about all the people I'll be leaving behind here? What if we never come back? What if... what if... what if... What if... I have so many questions!
I crumpled the map without meaning to. I just couldn't understand what I was feeling. It was like I was excited but scared at the same time. Everything was mixed up, and on top of that, it felt like there were butterflies in my stomach.
I couldn't sit still. A big part of me was telling me to go. Of course! I'd finally see Papa. But there was another part of me saying I shouldn't go.
Tsk! So annoying!
Another thing I kept thinking about was Kuya Angelo. I knew he wouldn't allow it. Neither would Aunt Gema or Mama. But what Percy told me was crystal clear.
"I'll sneak you out if they don't allow you. Just come with me." – Percy
We'd run away? Oh my god... we could end up anywhere. It'd be like we were lovers eloping. I don't think I can handle that.
I looked at my phone when it chimed. A text message. From who? From GagongBaliw, who wouldn't stop texting me.
Here he goes again! Persistent!
From: GagongBaliw
Message: my life, my wife...
I frowned. There really was something weird about the way I felt whenever this person texted me. I might need to borrow David's fancy instincts. I really just want to know who this traitor is.
So I can punch him right in the face.
I nearly cracked my phone screen typing out a reply to that idiot who wouldn't leave me alone. My message to him was so sweet.
To: GagongBaliw
Message: Fuck you!
Right? So sweet, right?
Let's see if his nose doesn't steam up from the rage. I mean, anyone would be pissed if someone cursed at them out of nowhere.
Then my phone chimed again. I was still smiling when I opened his message.
From: GagongBaliw
Message: I Love You Too!
My jaw dropped as I blinked repeatedly. I wanted to smash my phone against the wall out of sheer frustration—but no, what a waste, I just had it replaced.
I really want to meet this animal. Just once. I just want him to feel how sweet my punch is.
An idea suddenly popped into my head. I just wasn't sure if it would work.
To: GagongBaliw
Message: Let's meet... I want to see you.
I really hope the jerk takes the bait. My phone chimed again, a sign that he replied.
From: GagongBaliw
Message: As long as you're ready to make love with me. 😉
Oh, you idiot!
That animal. All I could say to him was a loud, sharp, and deeply felt FUCK YOU! The perverted jerk. If I ever find out who he is, I swear I'll go Super Saiyan 4 on him. I'd love to smash his face with a punch. I was so furious. It pissed me off even more when I thought that maybe I did know this bastard.
Could it be Keifer?
Impossible! He wouldn't stoop to something like this. And what would be the point of all those texts if it was him—if that was the case? Is he just messing with me? For fun? What a sick way to entertain himself.
"I'm just playing around."
Shit. Something pinched in my chest when I remembered those words. He was even looking straight at me when he said them. So everything he showed me... was all just a game to him.
Damn it!
I slammed my phone down on the study table. A few things shook from the impact, like the stack of papers piled up beside me. They shifted slightly, revealing an invitation.
I slowly picked it up, and my heart nearly shattered the moment I saw what it was. It was C-in's invitation. I sank down onto the bed.
C-in's birthday...
I remembered how he cried in front of me. The words he said while trying to wipe his tears away. That's when I realized that even though he was a snake, a kiss-stealer from Rakki, and full of mischief... he was still just a kid. A sad kid.
I felt like the worst person in the world watching him cry like that. C-in's family might be rich, but when it comes to love from his parents, he was poor. He begged for their time. He always said it didn't matter if they weren't around, because I was.
He said I was the one who filled in what his family lacked.
I tightened my grip on the invitation. I was angry! Angry at myself! Angry that I let myself be fooled! Angry because so many lies ruined everything! Angry because they deceived me! Angry because even after they hurt me, there was still a part of me that missed them. A part of me that wanted to go back to them and accept them.
But I couldn't anymore... We weren't the same as before.
"S-sorry, C-in... Things c-can't go back to how they were." I whispered.
I let go of the invitation and quickly headed to the bathroom to shower. For the last time—even if things couldn't be the same—I wanted to see C-in smile again. A smile that looked like he had no problems, like he was the happiest person in the world, a smile that could make you smile too.
Just one last time.
After I took a bath, I got dressed. I brought my wallet and cellphone with me. As I stepped out of my room, the first person I saw was Kuya Angelo. I was about to say goodbye, but he turned his back on me.
Looked like he was still mad at me. I decided to say goodbye to Tita Gema instead. It seemed like Mama wasn't home—I hadn't seen her since this morning.
Before stepping out the gate, I looked around first. Just in case someone was following me again, trying to take my life. I still wasn't over the whole "we want her dead" thing. Who knows who they are? What if they're pretending to be beggars just to get close?
"Ate, spare some change please."
"Holy crap!" I shouted, already raising my hand in a karate pose.
The kid begging on the street backed away in shock. Honestly, I was startled too! What if my suspicion was right?
"Who are you?! Who sent you here?! Tell me! Tell me now!"
I yelled while spinning my hand in the air.
I felt like an action star!
His hand was still trembling as he waved it around while slightly swaying his body.
"I-I'm S-Shan. N-no one s-sent me."
I narrowed my eyes at him as I examined him from head to toe. His legs were covered in dirt and wounds. He smelled awful too, like he hadn't taken a bath in ten years.
"No one really sent you here? No one approached you, paid you, then told you to come near me?" I asked.
He shook his head repeatedly. He looked like he was about to cry, with tears already welling up in his eyes. I lowered my hand, but I still didn't take my eyes off him.
"C-can I l-leave now?" he asked nervously, slowly inching away.
"Wait!" I shouted, and he looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Way too eager to escape!
I reached into my wallet and took out some coins, handing them to him. He looked at me in confusion.
"I thought you were begging? Well, here you go!"
He slowly raised his hand to take the coins. When he saw the amount I gave him, he raised an eyebrow.
"This is it?" he asked, slightly annoyed.
Wow... he dissed my ten pesos.
"Why?! Don't want it? Give it back..." I said, trying to snatch the money back, but he pulled his hand away. "...You don't seem to want it."
"N-no, it's not that... But maybe you could add a bit more?"
Wow! This beggar is demanding...
"What if I smack you instead?" I threatened, pretending to swing at his head.
"Okay okay, Ate! You scared me already!"
I couldn't take this street kid seriously.
Frowning, I pulled my wallet out of my pocket again. I took a hundred-peso bill and handed it to him.
"Here! Shove it in your lungs!" I snapped, but he just laughed at me. "...Go on! Leave! Go home and take a bath. Even my perfume is embarrassed by your smell."
He sniffed himself briefly. "I don't smell like anything."
"What do you mean you don't? I can smell you from here. Even flies don't wanna land on you."
"That's just you, Ate... Remember, the nose is close to the mouth."
Wow! Just wow...
"What if I make your nose and mouth one and the same? You want that? Huh?!" I threatened.
He stepped back slightly, laughing. And here I was, going toe-to-toe with a child. A light smack on the head and I'd be totally satisfied.
"Go home already! Don't waste that money on drugs!"
He raised the bill I gave him while walking backwards, smiling at me.
"I'll buy rice with this! Thank you, Ate!"
I waved him off. He quickly ran away. I don't know why, but he suddenly reminded me of C-in.
I wish I could make him smile like that again. I continued walking toward the corner. I flagged down a jeepney and quickly got in.
I was headed to the nearest mall. I still had no idea what gift to get him. I was thinking of a toy, but I knew he already had lots. Clothes were iffy since he might not wear them with the mountain of clothes he already owned. And I didn't even know his shoe size.
While browsing in the department store, I saw someone familiar. It was Rakki...
I was planning to take a different route, but it looked like she already saw me. She approached with a smile on her face, holding a paper bag.
"Hi, Jay!" she greeted cheerfully.
"Hello..." I replied half-heartedly.
It seemed like she could sense that I wasn't really in the mood to talk. The smile on her lips faded just a little. I wasn't mad at her or anything. I just didn't feel like facing anyone right now.
"A-are you also looking for a gift for Ci-N?" she asked hesitantly.
I nodded. "You too?"
"Yeah."
We both went quiet after that. I looked around a bit, and so did she. I didn't want to tell her to leave or walk away—that would be too rude. So even though I didn't really want to...
"D-do you wanna... l-look around together?" I offered.
She immediately smiled and nodded. So much for my plan of browsing alone. How was I supposed to think of a gift with a chatterbox tagging along?
We were currently at the men's section of the department store. I didn't find anything I liked for him.
I did find something for myself though. Why was I even looking for something to wear in the men's section?
"Jay... do you want to eat first?" Rakki asked, and that's when I realized how hungry I was.
I held my stomach and looked at her. "Sure."
"I'll take care of where we go. My treat," she said, taking my hand as we walked.
Look at that! I scored a free meal again...
Rakki brought me to a restaurant. A waiter greeted us with a smile and handed us menus, then pointed to the table we'd be using. I probably looked a little clueless as I watched Rakki talk to the waiter.
It was only now that it really hit me—Rakki was actually rich. I'd mentioned before that she looked like an angel, but I thought she was like me—modest but comfortable.
"I'll order. Do you want to add anything?" she asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I shook my head slowly. "N-no. Thank you."
She spoke to the waiter again, and once more, I found myself watching her. Then my eyes landed on her finger—she was wearing a diamond ring.
She's commited!
"Is it pretty?" she asked, and I quickly looked up at her. "It's a gift from my brother."
I had one like that too… a gift from Yuri.
I just smiled and nodded. She was lucky to have a brother like that. Me? I was blessed with two siblings—one with a serious attitude problem and one who's just plain nuts and drowning in cheesiness.
"By the way, how are things between you and Ci-N?" she asked, and that brought me to a halt.
From the tone of her voice, it sounded like she already knew what happened between me and Section E. That was probably why she asked me out.
"Hmmm... I don't know." I answered lifelessly.
She looked down and stared at her hands. "I want to apologize on Ci-N's behalf."
I knew it... she did know.
"Y-you don't have to apologize for him."
She took a deep breath and looked at me. She reached out and held one of my hands resting on the table.
"You're important to Ci-N," she said, and those words squeezed my chest. "...he's always bragging about you to me."
Dang it!
I bit my lower lip. "You don't have to do this."
She let go of my hand. We both glanced at the waiter who had just arrived with our order on a tray.
We stayed quiet while eating. I still couldn't wrap my head around why she had to do this—why she was the one apologizing on Ci-N's behalf.
While we continued our meal, I noticed a family near our table laughing together. They clapped for a moment, and I looked their way. A young boy stood in front of them, dancing with a big smile on his face. His parents were cheering him on enthusiastically.
"Ci-N's never experienced something like that," Rakki said. "...having his family support him in what he wants."
I knew that... He told me before.
"His older brother and sister are angry with him. I don't know if it's because they're jealous or if they're just annoyed by him," she added.
I knew they'd known each other for a long time. Ci said Rakki used to visit their house before, though they didn't talk much. Then they became classmates in second year, but Ci-N ended up in Section E because of Freya's meddling.
"What exactly are you and Ci-N?" I asked absentmindedly.
Rakki turned to face me and smiled. "Something special."
Ouch... What kind of "special" is that? The kind you order from the corner food stall?
My brow furrowed a bit. She wouldn't say it outright. With all the stolen kisses Ci-N had managed from her, anyone would assume they were together.
"But do you like him?" I asked, and her cheeks turned red instantly.
"Y-yeah..."
"Perfect! That guy's head over heels for you. What are you waiting for?"
She winced at what I said. "Jay-jay, come on! You've seen Ci-N, right? Body of a fourteen-year-old, mind of a fourth-grader."
She had a point.
"...Besides, I don't want to have a boyfriend who's only fourteen. It's too complicated. Maybe if Ci turns eighteen and we still feel the same, maybe I'd be the one making the first move."
Now I'm embarrassed. At fourteen, I was already accepting suitors. We even waited for each other at the street corner so we could walk to school together. And there I was, all giddy over my first relationship.
Only to find out... he was gay.
That's when I realized that relationships aren't something you always have to take so seriously.
So when Cyrus courted me, it didn't feel like a big deal. Because, well, I didn't want to get too emotionally invested.
"But I felt sorry for him," she said, and it caught me off guard. "...His parents are proud of him because he's smart. But they don't really show it. And sometimes they force him to do things he doesn't want to, so he ends up acting even more immature." She sighed. "...Things got even more complicated when he ended up in Section E. Sometimes he doesn't even listen to his parents anymore and listens to Keifer instead."
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MENTION THAT SLIPPERY SNAKE?! I almost threw the utensils at Rakki. Good thing I remembered what we were talking about just in time. Calm down! Chill!
"That's why I'm so furious at those barbarians! They taught Ci to be unruly. His older brother is super pissed right now. And he still refuses to fix his studies even though it should be easy for him." she added.
Honestly, Ci-N didn't look smart. Always up to something silly. That's why I had the guts to bet with him before. That's when I learned the truth behind the saying 'Don't judge a book by its cover'. Here I am, seventeen years old, and I got beaten by a fourteen-year-old whose IQ is probably up there with Albert Einstein's.
"But do you know what changed in him after he met you?" She asked, and I immediately shook my head.
"...He became more lively. He showed his childish side more, but in a way that's actually endearing. He doesn't take it to heart anymore when his family doesn't have time for him." She smiled at me. "...Because you're there now. He said you're his Ate, and you made him feel what family means."
Then the tears just fell. I couldn't stop them. It felt like something warm and smiling was blooming in my chest because of what she said. I didn't know I had that kind of effect on him.
If only you knew, Ci-N. You changed something in my life too.
I smiled at Rakki. "Help me."
"W-where?"
"I already know what I'm going to give Ci-N."
She immediately grinned like she was getting giddy. We finished our meal quickly, and we were like total idiots, excited about what we were about to do.
After paying for the food, we went straight to the gift shop to buy what we needed. Next stop was the toy store.
"Let's just do it at home," Rakki suggested, and I nodded.
We were already waiting for a taxi outside the mall when I noticed something. Across the street, directly opposite us. There was a motorcycle parked—and the driver looked like he was staring at us.
I remembered again those guys on motorcycles who followed me and challenged me to a race.
Can someone please check on my poor bike? These people are the worst.
"Do you know him?" Rakki asked, making me glance at her. "...You're staring at him so hard."
I shook my head and smiled. "It just felt like the driver was staring at me, so I was checking him out."
She didn't ask any more questions since the taxi had arrived. We got in and Rakki gave the address right away. While we were on the road, I couldn't help glancing behind us.
Weird, but I felt like he was going to follow us.
Next time, I'm definitely going to borrow David's classy instincts. For now, I need to focus on Ci-N's gift. I just hope he likes it.