[Quest Start: Survive the Beach Episode Without a Nosebleed (Or Jail Time)]Objective: Complete all beachside events without looking like a pervert. Reward: Hidden Affection Points + Secret Item (Mystery Box of Fate) Penalty: Permanent "Perv" Title (Visible to All Love Interests)
I stared at my phone.
The beach. The holy ground of every anime harem nightmare.
"I'm not going," I said.
"You're going," said Luna.
"Let me rephrase: I'm going, but under protest."
The sun was blazing, the waves were crashing, and I was having a full-on existential crisis in floral swim trunks.
Cynthia emerged from the changing hut in a white bikini with a sarong tied around her waist.
"Stop staring," she said, immediately catching me.
"I wasn't—"
[Warning: System has detected illegal eye contact. Deploying cold water punishment in 3… 2… 1…]
SPLASH!
"WHO INSTALLED A BUCKET TRAP ON THE PALM TREE?!"
We set up our spot on the beach: umbrella, towels, and exactly 28 types of sunscreen (thanks, Luna).
"Today's schedule is simple," Luna announced, dressed in a frilly pink two-piece and matching visor. "Volleyball, watermelon smashing, ice cream, and spontaneous romantic hijinks."
"…Can we skip the last one?" I asked.
"Nope!" Cynthia chirped. "System says you need to raise at least one affection level today."
[Side Quest Unlocked: Romantic Event at Sunset - Must Trigger Beach CG Scene with One Girl]
Why was my life a dating sim?
Event 1: Volleyball Deathmatch
Me and Luna vs. Cynthia and Isabella (who, by the way, looked dangerously elegant in a black one-piece that made me forget how to breathe).
I tried my best. I really did. But I got spiked in the face five times.
"Are you okay?" Isabella asked after the fifth hit.
"I see stars… and one of them is you," I mumbled.
"Pervert."
[Affection +1: Confused Pity Edition]
Event 2: Watermelon Smashing
Cynthia blindfolded me and handed me a stick.
"Swing!"
I swung.
I missed.
I broke a cooler full of soda.
Luna: "New record."
System: [No reward. Shame increased by 5%.]
Event 3: Ice Cream Disaster
I bought everyone ice cream. The moment I handed Isabella hers, a seagull swooped in.
It stole her cone.
She stared at her empty hand.
"Do I get mad… or cry?"
I handed her mine without thinking.
She blinked.
Then she took it.
"…Thanks, idiot."
[Affection +3: Flustered Generosity Mode Activated]
Final Event: Sunset Walk
The moment I dreaded. System had locked me into a "Random Romantic Walk Generator."
To no one's surprise, I got Isabella.
We walked quietly along the beach.
The sky was golden-orange. Waves lapped at our feet. And my brain was screaming.
"Thanks for today," she said.
"Oh, you mean the volleyball-related concussions?"
She chuckled.
"You're not as useless as I thought."
"Gee, thanks."
She stopped.
"…Do you really think I'm hard to deal with?"
My heart paused.
I looked at her, hair blowing in the sea breeze, eyes reflecting the sunset.
"No," I said. "You're just… honest. That's rare."
She didn't say anything.
Then she stepped closer.
Too close.
"You're not allowed to fall for anyone else today," she whispered.
And kissed me.
On the lips.
System: [CG Scene Captured. Save to Gallery?]
Me: [Brain Blue Screened]
Later, Cynthia found me sitting in the sand, still dazed.
"Did you break him?" she asked Isabella.
"Emotionally? Slightly."
"I'm okay," I mumbled.
"Yeah," Luna said. "He's fine. He just unlocked a whole new level of simp."
[Quest Complete: Beach Episode Apocalypse!] Reward: Mystery Box of Fate Opened! Item Acquired: "Relationship Chaos Dice" – Use at your own risk.
"…I'm never going outside again."