--
She looks to her left, and takes a rock beside her, a small pebble, oval in shape, the size of a silver coin and throws it into the waters, causing a ripple in the middle. Waves of wind came at the same moment, and Aina tightened the shawl around herself, curling herself as she wrapped her arms around her legs.
"It's cold," she says to herself.
She hears the sound of footsteps nearing toward her, the sound of fallen leaves being crumpled underneath someone's feet. Aina does not look. "I told you that you are dismissed for the day" she assumed it to be the maid, coming back for reasons Aina does not care about.
"And how will you be able to dismiss me?" The sound of an unfamiliar man's voice caused shivers to run down her spine. Was it from the cold? Aina doesn't know.
She frowns, and turns so quickly that when she faced the other person, she was only able to see the silhouette of their body, looking down upon her. Aina squints her eyes and prepares to stand, only to stumble on her knees as the ache on her head grows.
She was about to fall on her head when someone caught her. "Are you alright?" The man now has his hands. On.her.
It was disgusting.
She pulls her arm away, touching her temple with her fingers as she attempts to straighten herself and ignore the growing pain on her head. "Don't touch me," she said. Any kind of contact with a man disgusts her. It was utterly deplorable for him to touch her.
"I am fine" she added, and attempted to walk past the man whose face she couldn't make out still because all she could see at the second was blurry lines. She resisted the urge to vomit, though she could already feel the bile coming from her chest.
Aina covers her mouth with her gloved hand, although the white gloves that she wore were already soiled from frolicking in the ground earlier. "Excuse me" the man who still hasn't said a word moved away from her front to the side, allowing her to walk past the unknown man.
Maybe it was a servant, Aina does not care.
She walked and walked, and by the time she reached the gates of the tulip garden that the Duke had gifted his legitimate daughter on her the day that she turned sixteen, Aina wasn't able to take it anymore, she held onto the iron gates that protected the large garden, and crouched down on the ground, holding her mouth with a hand as she proceeded to let the bile out of her mouth, and at the same time her vision begins to finally clear.
Aina blinks, once, and twice and looks at her gloved right hand, expecting to see digested food. She moved her hand to get a better view as her crouched body was being covered by her long, black hair.
It wasn't bile.
"Blood" she whispers, her low voice hoarse and trembling.
On her hand, staining the white, satin gloves that she was wearing, were splatters of maroon. She realizes that the warm, sticky feeling that was dripping on her chin, as well as the taste of iron in her mouth were all because…she vomited blood.
She stands up, uses her shawl to wipe the blood off of her mouth as she turns to the tall iron gates of the tulip garden, and sees her half-sister with the Duke, their backs turned from her as they walk underneath the sunset, enjoying a father and daughter moment. Aina didn't need to see their faces to know what sort of expressions they have.
She turns from them and walks further to the manor, through the backdoor of the servants, and up to the third floor, to the east wing of the manor, where no one but her lives.
.
.
.
.
A week later, Aina came down with a big fever. She laid on her large canopy bed, feeling the dampness of her nightgown. She felt cold from the sweat dripping down from every inch of her body as she breathed heavily, her heart throbbing in a painful way.
She takes another trembled breath before exhaling unbearably.
"My lady, please drink this" She turns her blurred eyes to the maid beside her. There were two of them this time, both wearing cloths around their mouth and nose with one holding a basin filled with water and the other, her personal maid was kneeling down beside her bed, holding a drink that she knew to be medicine.
The maid hoisted her up carefully and Aina winced at the contact but she was delirious enough to tolerate the touch. The light-haired maid placed the cup upon her parted lips and Aina drank it quickly enough that she wasn't able to notice how awful the taste was.
"What is this?" she weakly asked.
"Medicinal herbs, my lady. The medic prescribed this medicine after checking up on you" Aina nodded and the maid proceeded to insert a sweet candy to her mouth.
She does not remember what happened much after that, only that she woke up in the midst of the night, in a blaze of stabbing pains on her chest, specifically to where her heart rested. Aina instantly gripped the laced collar of her white night dress. Her face crumples as she turns to her side in shallow, pained breaths. What was happening to her?
Her chest felt on fire all while it felt like her heart was being repeatedly stabbed as well. She curls her knees to her chest, in hopes that a certain position would somehow ease the pain. The damp strands of her hair stuck onto the sides of her face and her forehead. It was the most pain she had ever felt in her life.
Almost as if she felt it to be never-ending, the pain subsided, leaving her in the darkness of her room, alone, fatigued, and cold.
When Aina woke up after passing out that night, the sun had finally risen again. She had opened her eyes to see the family medic whose face she was seeing for the third time in all her years in the Evrian duchy. He had taken his gloves off and had two of his fingers placed on the pulse on her wrist.
She weakly pulled her wrist away, unable to notice the growing frown on the medic's forehead. "Don't touch me" she said, disgust dripping from her hoarse voice.
She tried to sit up using her elbow but ended up with her face planted on the bed, her arms trembling with weakness. "My lady, please be careful" the medic said, moving closer to her in an attempt to help. Aina plans to move away with her remaining strength until she suddenly hears her maid's loud voice.
"I will help the Lady!" her maid with blonde hair started, moving quickly to help Aina who stares at the maid unable to look at her directly in the eyes. Did she notice? Aina knew the maid was bound to notice, after all, it wasn't exactly a secret. And she knew it was a topic of gossip for the servants, especially those who had been working for the Duke's family for years.
Well, whatever. Aina could care less about what the servants talk about.
"My lady, may I speak with you alone?" the medic asked moments after Aina was able to compose herself again.
Aina needn't give her maid a look for the servant to excuse herself, carrying the large basin of water with her as she left the room. Aina's pale eyes travel to meet the medic's without having to turn her neck.
"Speak," it took years of training and advice from the former head butler for Aina to finally be confident enough in speaking informally to servants, or to those below her, like what Thomas had repeatedly told her when she was a child.
"Why do I have to speak informally to those older than me?"
"You are an Evrian, my lady" Thomas kneels down to meet Aina's bright eyes.
"As the youngest daughter of the Duke of Evrian, you must only bow down your head to one person and one person only"
"And who is that person?"
"The Emperor, my lady"
"My lady, have you been coughing up blood recently?" The medic had sat down on the stool chair once again before asking the question. His aged hands were crossed across his lap and he had a nervous expression on his face.
The question took Aina aback and panic started to rise from her chest for unknown reasons…so she decided to lie. "No, why?" She made sure her voice covered all traces of the anxiety that she was feeling.
The medic looks into her eyes, as if assessing if she were telling the truth. He looks away with pursed lips. "I see. I must've been mistaken then, my lady" he stood up, bringing his overly large leather case with him.
"Your fever has subsided, my lady. I would advise you to rest for another day in your room to fully recover before you can go out again" the man bowed deeply and Aina was unable to see his eyes again with his large glasses covering them. "Please call again for me if you have any concerns, Lady Ciana" he said, and the way he said please had made it sound like he was pleading. Aina gives him a small nod but decides not to say anything anymore.
Aina wonders if the medic knew anything about what was happening to her. Could I have made a mistake in not telling him?
She does not notice how the medic glanced back once more toward her direction before closing the door behind him.