Ryu staggered from the void prince's wreckage, HP at 5, chest a glitchy mess of static and scars, the Core Key still searing his hand. Earth's tunnel smoked—prince mulch fizzed, rift-vines choked concrete, and flaming dildos glowed in the rubble. Lira stood fierce, Waffle Iron of the Grid dripping goo, her smirk a jagged blade. Gorv loomed, axe crusted with void dust, growling like a pissed-off beast. Pip hopped, toucan screeching flames, void-blaster buzzing like it was ready to torch more shit.
The system flickered: [Quest Update: Earth's Glitch-Shitstorm. Objective: Smash the abyss duke or get swallowed—your funeral, asshole.] The shadows pulsed—rifts twisted, and a growl rumbled, deep and glitch-warped, from a cracked subway entrance ahead.
Snarkfang pulsed, runes blazing. "Abyss duke time, shitlord—you're gonna get sucked into the dark. I'm fucking pumped!"
"Fuck you," Ryu rasped, slicing a rift-vine that glitched into a rubber jaw and snapped at him. "No swallowing—just smashing."
"Keep dreaming, fuckface—abyss loves eating ants. Stab 'em and scream!"
A figure rose from the subway—broad and menacing, clad in rift-code shadows, a brutal bastard of Valdris's worst: Glitch Void Prince's dark tendrils, Glitch Titan's tar fists, and a rift-mace pulsing with glitch abyss. [Enemy: Glitch Abyss Duke (Level 130). Note: Deep-ass prick—good fucking luck.] He snarled, "Glitch Knight? You broke my void—I'll break your hope."
Ryu gripped Snarkfang, HP steady at 5. "Try it, gloom-shit—my crew'll turn you into glitch ash!"
The Duke's eyes flashed "WORM"—then he swung.
Lira roared, "Smash this fucker!" and charged—iron smashed his rift-mace, sparks flying, code splintering. [Damage: 230. Effect: Duke's mace's cracked.] No mulch talk—just a feral "Next!" as she swung at his fists.
Snarkfang whistled. "Klepto's a fucking abyss-wrecker—keep her, shitlord!"
Gorv bellowed, "NO MORE DARK SHITS!" and leapt, axe crashing—glitched into a gravity pulse, slamming the Duke into rubble. Concrete shattered, subway cracked. [Damage: 250. Effect: Duke's pinned.]
Snarkfang snorted. "Big boy's a goddamn gloom-crusher—still dumb as a rock, but I'll cheer!"
Pip cackled, "Suck this, shade-ass!" and lobbed his void-blaster—it glitched mid-air, turning into a flaming abyss-cannon that blasted the Duke's chest, shredding code with dark flames. [Chaos Triggered: Abyss Assault. Damage: 220.] The toucan dove, torching his tendrils—abyss fizzed, flames glitching RGB. [Damage: 180.] Ryu grinned. "Pip's a fucking abyss-bomber—finally torching the right shit!"
The Duke growled—mace swung, glitch-abyss swirling. Ryu dove, triggering Glitch Glower 2.0. Snarkfang flared—a wider, deeper glitch-light erupted, blinding the Duke and burning his grunts—shadows peeled, eyes fried. [Glitch Glower 2.0 Effect: Blind Blaze. Damage: 290, Sight -95, Burn +50.]
Snarkfang cackled. "You're a fucking sun-storm, dipshit—blind and burn 'em!"
His fists pounded—tar splashed. Ryu dodged, but a glob hit Gorv's arm—he growled, static bleeding. [Damage to Gorv: -80 HP.] Lira roared, iron smashing his helm—armor cracked, code gushed. [Damage: 240.] Gorv charged, axe cleaving his tendrils—gravity pinned them, abyss stalling. [Damage: 260.] Pip's abyss-cannon rammed his gut—toucan torched the gash, shadows sizzling. [Damage: 250.]
Ryu swung—Glitch Gank 2.0 hit. Snarkfang stole the Duke's abyss-glitch—Ryu's strikes pulsed with shadow buffs, hitting harder and cloaking him in dark speed. [Glitch Gank 2.0 Effect: Abyss Theft. Damage: 300, Buff +Speed/Damage.] He slashed—Glitch Grind 2.0 followed. A wider storm of glitch dust erupted, grinding the Duke's arm and dusting his grunts—fog choked the subway. [Glitch Grind 2.0 Effect: Dust Devastation. Damage: 310, Area +70.]
Snarkfang wheezed. "You're a fucking dust-thief, fuckface—grind 'em wide!"
The Duke pulsed—rift flared, spawning glitch-wraiths, shadowy rift-rats with abyss-claws. Lira smashed two—iron sparking, code spraying. [Damage: 230.] Gorv's axe pulsed, crushing three into pixel paste. [Damage: 240.] Pip's abyss-cannon torched a cluster—toucan flamed the scraps, shadows glitching wide. [Damage: 260.]
Ryu grit his teeth, HP at 5. "Fuck you, gloom-dick!" He swung—Glitch Goad 3.0 flared—runes taunted "ABYSS-ASS" across the sky—Duke glitched, mace exploding in his face—grunts' abyss-bombs blew up mid-throw. [Glitch Goad 3.0 Effect: Explosive Fuckery. Damage: 280, Chaos +1000.] The Duke flailed—fist hit himself, helm denting. [Self-Damage: 140.]
The shadow roared—rift pulsed, vines whipping. Ryu took a hit—vine lashed his chest, static searing. [Damage: -40 HP. HP: 1/80.] He roared, "Not yet!"—Glitch Gush 2.0 hit. A flood of thicker glitchy goo sprayed, coating his legs and tendrils—it hardened into tar stone, locking the Duke tight. [Glitch Gush 2.0 Effect: Tar Tomb. Damage: 270, Mobility -95.]
Lira leapt, iron smashing his core—armor split, code bled. [Damage: 260.] Gorv cleaved his head—gravity crushed the helm flat, sparks flying. [Damage: 300.] Pip's abyss-cannon rammed the rift, toucan torching it shut—flames glitched, frying his last fist. [Damage: 280.]
Ryu staggered, "Die, fucker!"—Glitch Gripe 2.0 flared—the Duke's glitches spread—tendrils fried grunts, helm shocked itself. [Glitch Gripe 2.0 Effect: Glitch Plague. Damage: 320, Glitches -90, Spread +30.] He swung—Glitch Gash sliced deep—static erupted, wraiths dissolving. The Duke bluescreened, collapsing into fizzing junk—eyes flashed "A#YSS OUT." [GlitchAbyssDuke.exe terminated. +3000 EXP. Level Up: Glitch Knight Rank 27. New Skill: Glitch Goad 4.0 (Taunts hit harder, trigger chain explosions).]
Ryu fell, HP at 1, goo-soaked and grinning. The rift fizzled—Earth trembled, more rifts pulsing. Lira wiped her iron, snarling, "Duke's mulch." Gorv flexed, axe high, roaring. Pip high-fived his toucan, abyss-cannon sparking victory laps. The system flickered: [Quest Update: Duke Down. Note: Earth's still glitch-fucked—keep swinging, asshole.]
Snarkfang snorted. "You're a half-dead shitlord, Ryu—nice abyss tan."
"Fuck off," Ryu rasped, eyeing the chaos—sirens wailed, rifts roared.
He glared at his crew. "Move, fuckwits—Earth's a glitch-shitfest now, and I'm not croaking in this shithole."
Lira smirked. "Next one's mulch too."