tw= ed/ stealing if you are uncomfortable with this topic please turn off.
Hello I got board while reading twisted Hate and doing math homework So Hi diary so I wanted to tell you How my life was when My mum left to her honeymoon because it was a weeks experience without having my mum the only one who has every cared about me and my sisters.
When my mum left for her honeymoon My dad and cousin took care of us, My cousin on the first night my mum left my dad had to work so she started stealing my mum perfume her expensive perfumes jewellery and was doing inappropriate moves with her friends and My dad just worked slept so when my mum came back she had noticed her stuff where missing only her really expensive stuff and also my and my sister hee where a mess since no did my hair and I have 4b and my older sister Ari has 3b hair so you can inmagne how bad our hair was.
It was fun though and being a really big foodie I was sneaking out of my room to grab snacks and eat them In the bathroom so they wouldn't see and yell at me for eating the school snacks, I really like food at time and I still do and for some reason I can't tell wheater or not I'm hungry of not so I always ate and I thought I was fat which doesn't make sense since I was the perfect weight but My sister Ari was always skinny she would barely eat because she was a picky eater and had sensory issues so she wouldn't eat as much so when people started to say she was prettier and skinnier it made me very self conscious of my weight, And sometimes I wish I didn't like food as much as I did because she liked only some foods making her more beautiful it wasn't just me who thought this even my mum friends , family members and my own friends always thought she was better looking them me I was only 7 at the time I wish they had maybe didn't call me ugly and fat because now as a teenager and writing this in my diary knowing I have a binge eating disorder that I would start to gain It gives me a sense of comfort knowing what was wrong with me at the time.
love dear: Ruby🤍
Today was stressful for me to talk about this so I hope if someone ever reads this to know I trying to get better but I don't wanna pessure myself to get better instantly and That I'm losing weight slowly even if it means relapsing over and over again every single day because I'm still sick and stoping myself from eating is bad but I'm not ready to get better once I will, I will do it I promise.