Kazuki rubbed his temples and sighed.
"Status..."
Reluctantly, the word left his mouth, and once again the air shimmered. A familiar translucent screen blinked into existence.
System Name: Chaos System
Level: 2
Class: None
Race: Human
Affiliation: None
Special Resource: Mana
Attributes:
Strength: 7 (+2)
Agility: 5 (+1)
Intelligence: 7 (+0)
Willpower: 3 (+2)
Vitality: 12 (+2)
Relics: None
Combat Skills:
—— [Skill: Exploding Chicken Summon: D]
Titles & Perks: None
Special System Quests: None
Kazuki stared at the screen, then focused on the only thing that stood out like a clown at a funeral.
[Skill: Exploding Chicken Summon: D]
With a weary squint, he tapped on it mentally.
The text unfolded, shimmering faintly in the air:
Exploding Chicken Summon: D
[Summons a single, mildly aggressive chicken that explodes upon impact. Its explosive force is weak, but it can distract or annoy enemies, causing minor damage in a small radius.]
[Cooldown: 5 minutes.]
Kazuki squinted at the screen for a few more seconds, as if sheer disapproval might force the text to change.
It didn't.
The description remained stubbornly stupid.
Reality finally settled in like a brick to the face.
He dropped his hands to his sides, utterly defeated.
"…What the hell am I going to do with this?"
"A chicken. A bomb chicken," he said aloud, as if repeating it would make it sound less insane. "I'm out here in a creepy-ass forest with no food, no gear, no plan—and my one combat skill is poultry-based terrorism."
He paced in a small circle, dragging a hand through his hair.
"This is supposed to be the start of some epic journey, right? I'm the chosen one! The protagonist! The guy with mysterious powers and a secret destiny!"
He threw his arms up. "And instead I get—'BAWK, boom!' That's my legacy?!"
He stopped pacing, breathing heavily.
Then slumped against the wall.
"…I should've just died in the cave."
A beat.
Then another sigh, deeper this time, from somewhere deep in his soul.
DING.
A cheerful chime echoed in his ears like kicking a homeless beggar.
A translucent screen blinked into view in front of him again.
[SYSTEM MISSION]
Title: Survival
Rank: E
Objective: Reach the nearest settlement
Bonus Objective: Defeat a monster
Rewards: +200 XP
Bonus Rewards: ???
Failure Consequence: Death :)
[Navigation to nearest settlement unlocked.]
[Directions uploading...]
Kazuki stared at the window. Then read it again. Then again.
"…You have got to be kidding me."
Before he could even groan, a jolt of information slammed into his mind like a mental sledgehammer. He staggered back, grabbing his head.
It felt like someone had crammed Google Maps into his skull with a mallet.
"Ugh—okay! Okay! I get it! Head northeast, avoid the tree with the bird poop, probably die along the way!"
He exhaled shakily.
Then steadied himself, still rubbing the side of his head like the system had left a bruise.
"Yeah… okay," he muttered, taking a breath. "This could work. I just need to get to the nearest settlement. A village. A town. Even a goddamn goblin-run inn would do."
He glanced again at the mission screen, still floating helpfully in front of him like a smug GPS. The failure condition blinked once.
Failure Consequence: Death :)
The smiley face felt personal.
Kazuki waved the screen away and stood straight, brushing off the cave dust from his pants with a half-hearted slap.
"I don't need the chicken. I don't need the system. I don't need—" he paused, glancing back toward the direction of the cave, "—whatever eldritch horror decided to hand me poultry-based destruction as a life path."
He pointed forward, dramatically.
"I just need a roof over my head, a job that doesn't involve summoning livestock, and maybe—maybe—someone who can cook without setting the food on fire."
He took a step into the woods.
Then another.
Birds chirped overhead, a soft breeze blew through the trees, and for a second—just a second—he felt like a normal guy on a hike.
"I'm just gonna find the settlement, blend in, maybe become a merchant. Start a chicken-free business. That's doable."
He nodded to himself.
"Yeah. This is the start of a perfectly average, non-explosive life."
A low rustle echoed from the bushes ahead.
He froze.
Then squinted.
A pair of glowing yellow eyes peered out from the bushes.
Kazuki took a cautious step back. "Okay… alright. Could just be a squirrel. Or a really ugly deer."
The eyes blinked. Something shifted. The underbrush parted with a soft crack.
The creature moved, emerging. Its form slowly took shape in the dim light. Saliva dripped from its grotesque mouth, and it wore only the barest scraps of linen, barely covering its body. In its hand, it gripped a crude wooden club, tightening its hold as it stared at Kazumi.
It growled.
Kazuki took a shaky breath, eyes wide as the creature stepped into full view.
"Oh no. Nope. No thank you," he whispered.
Then he turned on his heel and bolted.
Or at least, he tried to.
He got exactly two steps into his cowardly sprint before—
DING.
Another chime echoed in his ears, crisp and cruel.
A new screen slammed into existence in front of him, floating so close it nearly smacked him in the face mid-sprint.
[System Warning]
You are attempting to flee from a valid quest combat encounter.
Reminder:
Bonus Objective: Defeat a monster
Current Status: Monster Encountered
Running away = Failure to achieve greatness
Also:
Cowardice detected.
Activating Encouragement Protocol…
Kazuki skidded to a halt as a new message popped beneath it with a bright, pastel border and overly peppy font:
[You've got this, hero! Face your fears head-on and maybe—just maybe—you won't die horribly today! :D]
"…Are you serious?!"
Another growl snapped his attention back toward the creature, which was now stepping closer, its club dragging against a stone with an ominous scrape.
"Okay—okay, okay, fine!" Kazuki snapped. "I get it! Face the monster! Bonus objective! Heroic character arc! Screw you!"
He planted his feet, heart pounding like a war drum in his chest. His hand hovered uncertainly, like he didn't want to be that guy but had no choice.
Kazuki gulped. His feet itched to run again, but the system's pastel-coated mockery hovered in his face like a smug kindergarten teacher.
"Face your fears... maybe you won't die horribly today..." he muttered. "Right. Sure. That's normal."
The monster snarled again, closer now, lifting its club like it was swatting a fly.
Kazuki's pulse spiked.
"Okay," he whispered, breathing hard. "This is dumb. This is very dumb. But if I'm going to die, I'm taking someone with me."
He inhaled. Extended a hand.
A faint pulse of mana echoed in his hand as he prepared.
This was it. Do or die. Literally.
He inhaled sharply. His heart pounded. His mana surged.
With all the grace of a lunatic clinging to hope, he puffed out his chest, jabbed a finger forward, and screamed—
"CHICKEN ATTTTTAAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!"
The forest fell silent. Even the wind paused.
The Orc blinked.
Then blinked again.
Utterly baffled.
He stared at him like a caveman trying to understand Wi-Fi.
It wasn't sure if it was being challenged or mocked.
Too bad it wouldn't live long enough to figure it out.
BAWK.
A ripple of energy pulsed through the air. A flash of golden light erupted beside Kazuki
The air trembled. The sky darkened. Somewhere in the distance, thunder rumbled—despite the fact that the weather had been perfectly fine a second ago.
A chicken.
But not just any chicken.
Feathers ruffled with purpose. Beady eyes gleamed with reckless conviction. Its talons clicked with ominous rhythm as it stepped forward, dragging along something that looked suspiciously like a cartoon bomb stolen from a Saturday morning villain.
The fuse was already lit.
Kazuki raised his hand like a conductor at the peak of a symphony—if the orchestra was on fire and the instruments were chickens.
"Go, my feathered harbinger of doom! Fulfill your explosive destiny!"
BAWK!!
The chicken launched itself with supernatural speed, wings flapping like the drums of war. The Orc barely had time to raise its club before the chicken slammed into its chest—
BOOOOOM!!!
A blinding explosion ripped through the battlefield, sending a shockwave of fire, smoke, and stray feathers in all directions. The ground trembled, birds took off in a panic, and somewhere, in the heavens above, a choir of celestial chickens clucked in approval.
Kazuki dropped to one knee, shielding his face from the blast. Heat licked his skin. The earth trembled. His ears rang.
When the smoke cleared, all that remained was a smoldering crater.
In it, the Orc twitched pathetically. Its club was now charcoal. Its loincloth had migrated to one leg. It whimpered.
Its soul had clearly left the group chat
And as for the chicken?
Gone.
No corpse. No feathers.
Just an empty silence—the kind only left by true legends.
Kazuki slowly lowered his hand.
"…What the hell did I just witness?"