[Log 31] {Sil} I haven't told you guys this, but I've been growing a beard.
{Logan} That is what happens when you do not shave for a while. I myself have grown a bit of stubble.
{Vicky} Yeah lol, it looks cute on Logan.
{Sil} I didn't pack a razer because I thought I could just use one of my beast gear knives, but…
{Sil} I kinda look like him now.
{Vicky} Oh…
{Logan} By "him" are you referring to your sperm donor, Hilston Blade?
{Sil} Yes…
{Sil} I thought that I wouldn't get a beard like him. Pai never grew a beard, several of the blade members never grew a beard, and my body was baby faced for a while.
{Sil} I see his face in the mirror. I hate his face. I hate that I look like him. Why do I look like him so much? I killed him for god's sake! Even dead he still somehow comes back to fuck with me!
{Vicky} You are not him. He's dead. You said it yourself that you killed him.
{Logan} Vicky is correct in that sense. However, it appears that his resemblance in you still haunts your mind. But you are not him.
{Sil} And what if I become him? What if this stupid fucking person I see becomes that bastard?? What do I do then? What if I have been him all along… and I'm just denying it…
{Vicky} Sil, look. You can't become him because you are not him. You can't be the one who trapped us all on that fucking island. Procreating and creating a shit ton of kids for a kindergarten battle royale.
{Sil} Isn't that what I've been doing? That's the whole point of these logs, I can't believe it, I didn't realize I was just doing what he wanted, I-
{Logan} Breathe.
{Sil} How?! None of you guys even noticed it despite me documenting it all in front of your very eyes. I wasn't even using fucking protection for god's sake.
{Logan} The likelihood of the people you've fornicated with getting impregnated is close to 0%. You are entirely different species. This is nearly impossible to happen.
{Sil} It's not 0% though.
{Vicky} You only fucked like 9 in total.
{Sil} Still…
{Vicky} Even on the rare highly unlikely chance of one of them having a kid, you wouldn't be putting them through that test, and even if they did become pregnant, they might not even go through with giving birth to one. Don't worry.
{Sil} What if I still end up doing something horrible to them? What if I wiped them all out? What if I ended up not caring for their lives and well being and make them suffer for existing? I don't want to look like him. I don't want to think like him. I don't want to do absolutely anything he did. His abuse of power, of people, of his own offspring!!! Have I been doing that this whole time? And not even realize it because it comes so naturally to me?
{Vicky} You won't, Sil.
{Sil} How could you be so sure? We were all basically bred to become his future fucking body for fucks sake! He didn't even see us as his children, just as tools for him to use. Just something for Hilston to abuse and mold into his own image. We're just extra lives to him.
- Error: Message not sent -
{Vicky} I won't let you turn into him. I promise. It would be near impossible for you to become him anyways.
-Error-
{Sil} Hello?
{Sil} Vicky? Logan?
{Sil} You haven't responded in a while…
{Sil} Come on, the connection can't be broken now.
{Sil} No…
{Sil} No no no no no…
{Sil} Please send please send please send.
{Sil} Did I… guys look! I don't want to be alone.
{Sil} Please respond! I can't be alone!
{Sil} I hate being alone, I'm not used to it. I don't have Vorden, I don't have Raten, I am alone in fucking space!
{Sil} Don't tell me I convinced them…? And now they're…
{Sil} Maybe it's for the best if they can't talk to me, I can't hurt them.
{Sil} I'm sorry.
{Sil} I'm sorry, please come back. I'm sorry. Please be here. I didn't mean to be alone. Please, I need you. Someone ANYONE
{Sil} PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE I'M SORRY I SHOULD'VE KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY UMS SORR UIM SORY IMSRKNTGdismdismsmimsoret…
—
Vicky furiously tapped at her keyboard, sending message after message, but all the text came back as red.
"God fucking damn it!" Vicky screamed before punching the wall, causing it to shake. It barely dented due to her husband being able to afford her occasional showcases of strength. Logan came through the door bursting in.
"Vicky, I-" Logan began before Vicky grabbed him and shook him furiously.
"We need to get to him! He can't be alone like that!"
Vicky realized what it was she was doing to her poor husband and set him down. Logan had a troubled look on his face, something that unnerved Vicky knowing how he usually acted.
"I'm sorry," Vicky quickly apologized, "I'm just worried for my little brother. I could tell he was beginning to break down."
"There's nothing I can do." Logan spoke very matter of factly.
"Can't you send a schematic? Some image with code attached to it? I saw you were able to fix the air filtration that one time so maybe you can-"
"Don't you think I haven't tried that already?" Logan's voice shook. "His communications are broken on his end. If he is going to be able to respond to us, then he needs to fix it himself."
Vicky looked over to the computer, her brows were furrowed upwards. She knew that Sil was never quite emotionally stable, and even though he got better over the years, there was always the concern it could all come crashing down.
"As long as he doesn't attempt to hurt himself, Sil should relatively be fine for the most part." Logan remarked, attempting his best at reassuring his wife.
"Baby please, don't mention that possibility to me. I don't want to think that because of this stupid connection crap- that he could… Please no…" Vicky cried as she began to bury her head in her hands.
She couldn't stand the idea, the possibility, the thought of her baby brother possibly going too far with his thoughts. Knowing how terribly Sil would spiral, made that chance much more plausible in her head.
Logan realized his mistake while gazing at his beloved's reaction. It was only meant to be a small chance, something meant to be so unlikely to happen- the chances might as well have been zero. The way her pupils shrink, her brows furrowed, her tone shakier than before, he realized the likeliness of this event happening was actually far above than his calculations.
Suddenly, Logan began typing away at Vicky's keys, searching for the blueprint of the very device that was causing the problems between Sil and Earth. He searched every last documented design in hopes that there was something he might have missed. Something that he could do to let Sil know how to fix things on his end. Something that would let him know that Logan and Vicky were trying their hardest to stay with him.