The past few days went by smoothly—I was happy and content with what I was doing, especially with my job.
"Lui! Phone call for you!" one of my coworkers called out. It was our lunch break.
"Coming! Thanks!" I shouted back as I got up and headed from the pantry to my cubicle.
Me: Hello?
Mitch: Lui, can you leave work early?
Me: Why? What happened?
I was immediately alarmed by the tension in her voice, especially by her question. She never calls me at work, so this was unusual.
Mitch: Your sister and mom are here. They're packing up your things. I told them to wait for you, that I'd call you first, but they wouldn't listen.
Me: Huh? Why?
Mitch: They said you should go home, that you won't be working at the network anymore.
Her voice was filled with sadness.
Me: I never said that! You know that, right? I never decided to leave my job here! I have a contract—I can't just leave like that!
Mitch: What should we do? They're packing up everything in your room.
Me: Just let them. Even if I leave work now, I won't make it in time because of the travel distance. Just don't mention that I still have some freshly laundered clothes in the back that I haven't put away yet.
Mitch: O-okay.
Me: Thanks for calling and letting me know what's happening. It's fine—just let them be.
I didn't wait for her response. I just hung up and sighed at what I had just learned. It was exhausting.
I carried on with the rest of my work hours as if nothing had happened. I didn't want my personal problems to affect my job. As long as I could, no one would ever notice the weight I was carrying—except for those who truly knew me. And of course, that didn't include my family. They never really knew who I was. To them, I was just the quiet, weak, and clueless one.
There was only one person in my family who truly understood me, but they were gone—they left me too soon.
Before heading home, I called Ali to let him know what happened. I hesitated to call Georje because I wasn't sure if he was at his grandmother's place.
Thankfully, he wasn't home when my sister and mother came over. It would've made things worse if he had been there.
Ali: Where are you now?
Me: Still at the station, about to leave. I wanted to call you first before heading out so you wouldn't be surprised if you saw me outside your gate.
Ali: No problem, you know you're always welcome here anytime.
Me: Thank you. I'll call you if anything else happens.
Ali: Alright, I'll wait for your update. I'll also call Jed and Georje. I'll handle it.
Me: Thanks a lot. I'll hang up now. Bye.
Ali: Bye. Take care.
After my call with Ali, I dialed Mitch next.
Mitch: Hello?
Me: Mitch, it's me. How are things?
Mitch: They left a while ago.
Me: Did they say anything before leaving?
Mitch: Just that you should go home. That's all.
Me: Okay. Thanks. I'm on my way.
Mitch: Alright, take care.
The commute home was long because of traffic. I took a jeep instead of a taxi so I could have more time to think things through. I needed to carefully weigh my next steps and make sure I handled everything properly.
"Good thing you're here," Mitch greeted me as she opened the door.
"Traffic was bad, that's why I took so long."
"Come on, let's eat first before we talk about what happened. I already cooked, but I waited for you so we could eat together."
I dropped my bag on the couch and followed her to the kitchen after locking the door.
We ate in silence. I could tell Mitch was waiting for the right moment to speak or ask questions. I let the silence linger because, honestly, I didn't know what to say.
I was still in shock over what my mom and sister had done. I couldn't understand why they did this to me. They never really paid attention to me at home, so why were they suddenly trying to take over my life? Why did they seem so desperate to control everything, to the point of packing up my things without my knowledge or consent? I felt insulted. They didn't even have the decency to respect my decisions.
I was struggling to balance everything. I didn't know what to do or say. My life was already chaotic enough with the problems I was facing, and now, they just added another layer of trouble before I could even resolve the first ones.
Mitch and I were on the terrace, both smoking, waiting for the other to speak.
"At least I still have some clothes left to wear," I finally said, breaking the silence.
"And at least my ATM card was in my wallet. I don't even know why—I never usually bring it with me, but I forgot to leave it in the box where I always keep it in my cabinet."
Mitch remained quiet, just listening to me while smoking.
"Only a few of my CDs are left—the ones I happened to have in my bag. They took everything. Damn." I shook my head in disbelief.
"I'm really sorry, Lui. I didn't know what to do earlier. They just asked where your room was and barged in, packing your things. If I hadn't mentioned that your bedding was here at my place, they would've taken that too. Even though we both know that's not true—you and I bought that on sale together, remember?"
"F**!" I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.
"You don't need to apologize, Mitch. Honestly, it's embarrassing. They've disrespected your home and you—not just once, but twice."
"Forget it. What matters to me is you. You're the one I live with every day, and we've always had a good relationship, even before you moved in."
"Still, what they did was so wrong. I've long accepted that they don't respect me, but I wish they wouldn't treat others like this—especially you."
"Let it go. Don't stress yourself over it. What you should focus on now is what you're going to do next. What's your plan"
"I'm not going to do what they want. I love my job, and I don't want to work abroad when I can earn decently here. It's not as much as working overseas, but I'm happy with what I do."
"So, what now? Will they even listen to you if you try talking to them again?"
"That's my problem. When it comes to me, their minds are closed. I know they won't listen."
"Your situation is tough, Lui. Can you still handle it? Just say the word, and we'll be here for you."
"I'll manage. I have no other choice but to keep going."
It was past 11 PM when Ali, Jed, and Georje arrived. They had called earlier while Mitch and I were eating, so we expected them.
"Good evening. Sorry we're late—it was hard to leave from our dance rehearsal," Ali said as soon as I opened the door.
"Why? What happened?"
"Your siblings showed up there. I think they were waiting to see if you were there," Georje said, looking exhausted.
"What? Why would they wait for me there? I never go to your rehearsals."
"Exactly. That's why we were so shocked. Your sister even knew one of the gay staff members. We don't know what they talked about, but they kept glancing at us."
"Idiots," I muttered.
"After rehearsal, we purposely stayed behind and hung out with the dancers and models so they wouldn't suspect anything. That's why we took so long," Ali added.
"They're making things so complicated! I don't get why they're doing this to me. I've been used to it, but now they're dragging you all into it too."
"So, what's your plan now?" Jed asked.
"I won't do what they want. I've spent so long following their wishes, hoping they'd acknowledge and appreciate me, but nothing changed. I'm tired. Maybe it's best if I stay away for now, so none of you get caught up in this mess." Silence filled the room. No one expected what I just said.
"What about your job?" Mitch finally broke the silence.
"I'll resign properly. I'll recommend you as my replacement to make the transition easier."
"What?" Mitch gasped, clearly shocked.
"Where are you planning to go?" Ali finally broke his own silence awhile later.
"I'm still thinking about whether to go to Manila or Cebu. It depends," I said, while Georje quietly listened to our conversation, and Ali shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing from me.
"When do you plan to leave?" Mitch asked, her voice trembling as if she were about to cry.
"As soon as possible. I just need to sort things out at work and make sure you're settled in, then that's it. If I stay any longer, more bad things will happen. You're already getting caught up in this mess, and that's the last thing I want to happen."
"I'll still call you guys. And please, for now, keep this between us," I pleaded with them.
"Why do you look like you just lost a bet?" I jokingly said.
"Who would be happy with what we're hearing from you right now, Lui? Come on!" Ali exclaimed.
"This is for all of us. Didn't I just say I don't want you getting involved? I'll come back, just not right away. And I'll call you too. So please, stop with the drama—it doesn't suit you," I said, trying to act tough even though I was on the verge of tears. I forced myself not to cry because I knew that once I started, it would be hard to stop.
Not long after, I suggested we drink, using it as an excuse to help me fall asleep. I was grateful that they didn't let me down. They understood and stayed with me, just like always. Georje remained quiet, probably struggling to process everything he had just heard.
Nothing could change my decision—I needed to leave. I believed I had enough savings to start over. Working abroad was never part of my plan because I knew I wouldn't be able to use my skills there. The only thing I ever wanted was to work behind the camera.
Past midnight, when Ali said he had to head home. I didn't want to let him go since he had a long drive ahead, was exhausted from rehearsal, and had been drinking. But he insisted—he had to be at their fishpond early to deliver supplies. He assured me he was fine to drive and had intentionally limited his drinking.
The next morning, despite sleeping late, I woke up early. Honestly, even with alcohol in my system, I couldn't sleep well—my mind was in chaos.
"Morning. How are you feeling now?" It was Georje. I hadn't realized he had been watching me from beside me.
"Morning. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Everything is just a mess," I sighed deeply.
"I know your decision is final—I heard you last night. But… are you going to be, okay?"
"Honestly, I don't know. I'm not sure either."
"Lui, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I also don't know how to help you."
"I know, and I understand. It's okay, really. Just having you here is enough. I'll be alright soon."
"I'll stay with you until the day you leave."
"Thank you. I'm sorry for leaving you behind, but I have to—so that you won't get dragged into my mess."
"If there was a way for me to help, I would, Lui. But I don't know how," he said sadly.
"Shhh, I said it's okay. I understand. Don't pressure yourself. I'll be fine. I'll call you, so you'll always know where I am and what's happening with me."
"I know this will be hard for you. Being alone isn't easy, Lui. I know that feeling."
"I can do it. I have to. I mean, would I really give up now?" I forced a smile, knowing how heavy everything felt. I didn't want to cry anymore.
I knew this decision was hard for both of us and for my closest friends. Honestly, this next step in my life weighed heavily on me, but I knew I had to be strong and brave. Otherwise, my problems would swallow me whole, making my life and all my efforts meaningless.
I couldn't just throw away my dreams to follow what my mother and sibling wanted. My life was on the line here, and that meant my decision should prevail. This was my dream, my career—my future.
Days passed quickly, and now it was time to leave the place I had called home. I only packed the essentials in my duffle bag and backpack. Everything actually fit in the duffle bag, but I didn't want to leave my backpack behind. I planned to travel by land to Manila, which would take three days. I also considered making a stop in Cebu, where a close friend lived.
Ali, Jed, Georje, Mitch, and Zette saw me off. I didn't get to say goodbye to VM and AC because I was running out of time and couldn't visit them. I also didn't tell my stepmother, Amal, because I wanted to avoid another confrontation at home.
Moving around had been difficult the past few days since we had to stay cautious, fearing someone might be watching us. We were all careful. Thankfully, my company allowed me to leave even though my contract wasn't up yet. I had recommended someone as my replacement, and they saw potential in her, so I had no trouble getting permission to go. I was incredibly grateful that they understood my situation.
I didn't hesitate to tell my bosses the truth about my life so they would understand why I suddenly had to leave a job I loved. They knew I had always dreamed of climbing the ranks in production, so they would have found it strange if I didn't give them an explanation.
I couldn't hold back my tears anymore when it was time to say goodbye. The bus was about to leave, and my friends had to go home. I already felt the loneliness creeping in, but no matter what, I couldn't give up now. I had to be strong and brave to keep moving forward, even if I knew I'd be facing everything alone. My friends—who had become my family over the years—were now far away.
I knew this wouldn't be easy, but this was what I wanted. And because of that, I knew I could endure it, even if, from this moment on, I was truly alone.
I cried myself to sleep and didn't even realize how far we had traveled. I only woke up when I felt the bus stop.
It was still dark outside, but I saw several buses parked behind ours. We had stopped for a restroom break and for passengers who wanted to grab a coffee or a meal.
I got off the bus, bought a coffee, and took a sandwich and bottled water to go since I wasn't in the mood to eat. I quickly returned to my seat, preferring to drink my coffee on the bus rather than being surrounded by people in the dining area.
From my seat, I quietly observed the surroundings while sipping my coffee. Only a few passengers had returned from the stop. There were still a few minutes left before departure, and the person next to me—who had silently witnessed my tears and sobs when I left earlier—was nowhere to be seen. I knew they had many questions, but they chose to stay quiet and let me be.
By the next morning, we finally arrived in Cebu. It was only then that I felt a bit relieved. Once I got off the bus, I immediately looked for a ride to my friend's place. The trip there was still long, and even though I was exhausted, I couldn't sleep—I was afraid of missing my stop.
Thankfully, the driver and conductor were kind enough to help me figure out where to get off. Once I arrived, I asked for directions to my friend's house. She was one of Georje's high school classmates, someone I never expected to become close with. But it just so happened that her cousin was my sibling's classmate, and their house was near where I grew up. Because of that cousin—and Georje—we became friends.
She was like the older sister I had always longed for in my life. We quickly grew close and developed a deep bond. Even though we didn't see each other often because she was busy with her own life, we always found time to talk on the phone. Sometimes, she would send letters through her cousin, with a note included just for me. I also made time for her whenever we could be together, especially after she moved back to Cebu with her siblings and their mother. Their parents were separated, and she took on the role of her mother's support system, helping to provide for her younger siblings who were still studying.