What happened was, Ali and I talked first because I preferred to speak with him. Since I was comfortable opening up to Ali and I knew he was open-minded and wouldn't judge me, it was easier for me to express all my frustrations and tell him everything that happened on my birthday.
"It's so hard, Ali. What happened really hurt me. But what made it even worse was what one of my closest friends—who's like a sibling to me—said. They asked me why I was acting like Georje's sugar mommy. I never expected to hear something like that from them. I was only doing what I thought was right. But apparently, it was so wrong in everyone else's eyes. It's tough. My family couldn't accept him because of his background—his father was known to have a lot of women, and they feared he would turn out the same. But I didn't give up, Ali. I did everything for him. And yet, why do I feel like I'm the only one making an effort for our relationship? Tell me, Ali, where did I go wrong? What else did I lack? Because honestly, I don't know anymore." I was crying by then. Luckily, I was sitting in the farthest corner of the coffee shop, so it wasn't too obvious. If someone saw us, they'd probably think Ali and I were a couple.
"Just be patient with my bro. We already talked to him about it because, honestly, I noticed something was off too. We even scolded him when we found out you gave him money—we saw your ATM card with him. I told him, 'Dude, this is embarrassing. You're the guy, and yet Lui is the one supporting you.'" His words only made me cry harder.
"Damn, Lui, if I had known you loved like this, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell you I had a crush on you back then," he said, handing me his handkerchief to wipe my tears.
I didn't know whether to laugh or take his words seriously. I was so emotional, and I never expected to hear that from him.
"You and your pick-up lines! Don't try that on me, for heaven's sake," I said, playfully hitting his arm.
"Ow! You really are a sadist! That's exactly why I never confessed to you before—I knew I'd just end up suffering! My good looks would be wasted if you turned me into a battered boyfriend," he pouted while rubbing his arm.
"Oh, come on! You see me here, pouring my heart out, and you hit me with that? But honestly, sometimes I wish you were my boyfriend instead. People even mistake us for a couple more than when I'm with him," I joked, and we both laughed.
"Lui, behave! Don't lead me on—I know you're head over heels for my bro," he teased.
"Your brother is a block of wood—cold as ice," I huffed.
"Oh, please! You complain, but you still love him!" He playfully smacked my head.
"Oh? So, you're fighting back now? I thought you said you'd be a pitiful, battered boyfriend? But it doesn't seem that way at all," I raised a brow at him.
"Peace! I take it back!" He grinned and flashed a peace sign.
"Kidding aside, you really are easier to be around. You don't make me feel embarrassed or ashamed to be with you. You casually put your arm around me in public. Meanwhile, your 'bro'—the one you're so proud of—was embarrassed to be seen with me and even denied me right to my face," I said, sipping my chocolate shake.
He just smiled and shook his head.
"You good now? Ready to talk to him?" he asked when he saw I had finished my drink.
I nodded and smiled at him. "Why doesn't this guy have a girlfriend yet? He's good-looking, kind, and sweet."
"Ali, I have a question," I asked as we walked out of the coffee shop.
"What is it?" he asked in return.
"Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"
"Because no one's made the mistake of going for me yet," he said, scratching his cheek.
"Really? That's your answer? You look good, you're kind, and you're sweet too," I said, pretending to examine him. Of course, I wasn't going to say he was handsome—that would only inflate his ego.
"Wow, Lui! So, I only 'look good' to you?" he whined.
"Oh, so what do you want me to say? That you're ugly?" I teased, feigning innocence.
"Why don't you just say it outright? Say that I'm handsome!" he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
"I knew it!" I wasn't wrong—he was fishing for compliments.
"Wow! Your conceitedness is off the charts!" I rolled my eyes, and we both burst out laughing.
We went to meet Georje and Jed at a nearby bar. It wasn't too loud yet since it was still early. They were sitting outside at one of the tables, which was better because the breeze was nice, and the place had a great view.
"Lui, stay here. We'll sit at the other table. I'll just bring Georje over so you two can talk properly, okay?" Ali said as he helped me sit down before leaving me completely and heading toward their table. He spoke to them, but I couldn't hear what he was saying—I could only see them talking. I could tell that Georje and Jed were seriously listening to whatever Ali was telling them.
Their conversation lasted a few minutes before I saw Georje stand up and walk inside the bar. I casually looked around the place. There weren't many people yet since it was only past ten in the evening. To keep myself from getting bored while waiting, I took out my CD player from my bag, placed it on my lap, and played some music.
I also thought about what Ali told me earlier. I figured there was nothing wrong with following his advice—after all, he knew Georje better than I did since they had been friends for longer.
I saw Georje come out of the bar, holding a glass filled with something iced—it looked brown. He gestured toward Ali and Jed, signaling that he was going to approach me. The two responded with a thumbs-up.
"Hi," he greeted as he got closer.
"Hi, have a seat," I replied.
"Lui, I'm sorry that things had to reach this point. Sorry that Ali and Jed got dragged into this again. I just… I didn't know how to approach you without them because I know you were really angry at me the last time we talked. I'm sorry—I'm really not good with words. I mean, I don't know how to express my feelings. Since I was a kid, I learned to be alone. Nobody ever asked me how I was when I was younger, especially after I lost my mom. My father was always busy with work, and my stepmom took care of me—she's nice, but it's different. She's not my real mother, you know?" he started the conversation by reminiscing his past.
"At school, yeah, I had friends, but I mostly just hung out with them to feel like I belonged to a group. But I was more of a listener than a talker. I've never been good at expressing myself. When it comes to handling problems with my family, I just don't deal with them. I'd rather spend my time sleeping or reading books than thinking about my life or my family, which I know is just full of sh*t. My life has been a mess, Lui. And honestly, it still is." He explained.
"And about our misunderstanding, I am truly sorry because I really didn't know what to say to you when I saw you freak out. I know that no matter how much my guilt consumed me at that moment, it didn't matter to you because you were so angry at me. I could see the pain in you, Lui, especially when I saw you crying so hard. But I know I can't turn back time. I already hurt you, disappointed you, and—worse—I made you feel like I took you for granted. Lui, I never took you for granted. It's just that I don't know how to handle a relationship. This is all new to me, Lui. I hope you understand," he continued explaining while staring intently at the glasses on our table.
"Are you done?" I asked.
"Uhm… Thank you for the gift and for all the effort you and your friends put into my supposed surprise birthday party," he added, nodding at me.
"I thought of doing it because, remember? You once told me that the last birthday you could remember celebrating was when your mom was still with you?" I asked him. He nodded.
"I thought, since I'm here as your girlfriend, why not prepare something special for your special day? And so, I did. And yes, I got hurt—because who wouldn't be? Imagine preparing a celebration for someone's birthday only for them not to show up. Ask anyone, Georje! If only you had told me that you couldn't make it, I would have understood. Just don't make a fool out of me.
Because, you know, I couldn't help but feel like you didn't just disregard everything I prepared, but you disregarded me, too. And that hurts," I said, my voice breaking as tears welled up in my eyes again.
"I hope this doesn't happen again, Georje. Things like this are exhausting. As much as possible, I don't want to add more stress to my life. I'm already overwhelmed. I'm stressed about my family, my studies—and now, even with us? Do I really need to carry that burden, too?" I said, looking at him—just as he lifted his gaze from the glasses he had been staring at, as if all the answers to his problems were written on them.
It was honestly surprising how long he spoke this time. And he wasn't even stuttering.
"Sorry again… and thank you again," he said.
And just like that, our misunderstanding was over. I don't even know why, but suddenly, all the things I had planned to say to him—the words I had prepared in my head when he wasn't here—just disappeared. I had so much to tell him. But now, with him right in front of me, I could barely find the words.
Maybe it was because I had already let it all out to Zette, Mitch, and earlier to Ali. So now that I was actually facing him, I had nothing left to say. I suggested that we just move to Ali and Jed's table since there wasn't really anything left for us to talk about privately.
The conversation turned lively, especially with all the teasing—of course, Ali was the instigator, and Jed eagerly joined in. I had a few sips of my drink since Jed and Ali were already drinking when we joined them, but I didn't have too much since I still had class the next day.
"Thank you, both of you. And I'm sorry for always dragging you into our problems when, really, it should just be the two of us fixing things. But you two are always there supporting us," I said after Ali's teasing, which was clearly directed at me and Georje.
"Oh, come on, Lui! Of course, we're friends! Georje is our friend, and you've been our friend since elementary school. What reason would we have not to help and support you both?" Ali declared proudly—he was definitely tipsy already, saying things like that. Meanwhile, Jed just smiled and patted my shoulder. Georje then stood up and patted both of them on the shoulder.
"Bro, take care of Lui, always. Don't ever hurt her, because if you do, I swear I'll be really mad at you. You know, I've never told you this before, but if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have backed down. I've had a crush on Lui for a long time…"
He didn't even get to finish his sentence because Jed immediately cut in.
"I know! You told me back in sixth grade that when we got to high school, you'd finally admit to Lui that you liked her. But you never did! You chickened out every time. You kept saying you had cold feet, but the truth is, you were just scared of getting rejected because you knew Lui would never say yes to you—because all you ever did was mess around!" Jed exposed him, making the three of them burst into laughter. Meanwhile, I was just sitting there, completely embarrassed by what I was hearing. I had no idea.
"You know, Lui, that's why he always teased you before. It was just to get your attention," Jed continued. Then he turned to Georje. "Bro, don't get mad, okay? Don't worry, he promised me he wouldn't interfere with you two. In fact, he's going to support you guys."
He even raised both of his hands in the air, as if to make sure Georje would listen and believe him. Georje, on the other hand, just laughed.
Honestly, if it were someone else, they'd probably be fuming with jealousy by now. But he just seemed amused listening to all of Ali's nonsense.
"I should send you home right now, Ali. You're always so full of it. Maybe that's why you've never had a girlfriend—because girls think you can't be serious," Georje teased him.
"I'll go ahead, guys. I have class tomorrow. You guys can just relax all you want. Wow, it's already 1 AM—I didn't even notice the time," I said as I stood up.
"Wait, I'll take you home. Bro, I'll just walk Lui home," Georje said as he stood up.
"You better, man. It's late, and it's not safe for Lui to go home alone. Where are you going tonight, Lui? Back to your apartment or to Mitch's house?" Ali asked.
"Wow! You know Mitch so well, huh? And no one informed me about this!" I teased him.
"Stop messing with me, Lui, unless you want to go home in tears," he playfully threatened. I knew he was just joking around again.
"Oh wow, a threat! Do you really think I'm scared of you?" I shot back, playfully tapping his shoulder as I got closer to say goodbye.
"Go on, get out of here! I never win against you anyway!" he said, shooing me away.
"Oh, I know why! It's because you used to have a crush on me!" I teased him even more and turned to look at Georje, just to see how he'd react.
"Oh, Lui, don't get your hopes up. That guy doesn't even know how to get jealous," Ali joked.
"Wow! You're so full of yourself!" he said, laughing.
"Hey! That's my line! No originality at all!" I teased back.
"Come on, go already so you two can leave. We're heading home too. I know I can never win against you anyway," he said, pulling me in for a hug.
"Thanks again! Take care," I said while we hugged.
"Thank you so much! Take care!" I said to Jed as well, hugging him next.
Georje and I left first, taking a taxi since jeepneys were already scarce on the way to Mitch's house.
"Lui, we're good now, right? Don't be mad anymore," he whispered to me as we sat side by side in the back of the cab.
"Yes, okay? You should really be thankful to Ali and Jed because if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have forgiven you. Or worse, this could've ended in a breakup because, honestly, I just don't understand you sometimes," I murmured softly, not wanting the cab driver to overhear.
We exchanged small smiles, and he had been holding my hand since we got in the cab.
When we arrived at Mitch's house, he waited until Mitch opened the door for me before heading home.
"Sorry, Mitch, I'm just getting home now," I quickly said as soon as she opened the door—poor thing looked half-asleep as she let me in.
"Morning, Mitch," Georje greeted her.
"Morning. Good thing you took her home. Come inside for a bit," Mitch responded with a small smile.
"It was really late, so I had to. Sorry for waking you up," he replied.
"Oh please! Blame Ali. He just wouldn't shut up, especially after a few drinks."
"Lui, why don't you just let Georje stay here instead of going home? It's almost three in the morning. He can just crash on the sofa and get some rest, and we can go to school together later," Mitch suggested while following me to the kitchen as I got some water.
"Sorry for the trouble. But sure, thanks," I replied before walking back to the living room where Georje was waiting.
"Oh, stop with the dramatics! It doesn't suit you, especially not at this hour," she joked.
I was honestly so grateful to have Mitch as a friend. At one point, she even suggested that I move my things here so I wouldn't have to keep paying rent at the apartment. But I felt guilty about leaving Nika and VM behind. It would probably just make things worse between me and VM if I suddenly moved out. Instead of fixing things, it might just completely ruin our friendship. At least if I still went back every now and then, they'd think I was just too busy—half-truth, half-lie.
I really was busy, but I could still go home if I wanted to. I just chose not to. I didn't even fully understand myself. I just felt uncomfortable knowing VM was mad at Georje, and honestly, he had a point. I understood where he was coming from, but I don't know… maybe I was just the problem.
"Here's some water," I said, handing him the glass I brought. I had already drunk mine in the kitchen.
"You can just stay here and go with us to school later. Are you okay with sleeping on the sofa?" I asked, glancing between the couch and his height. The sofa was definitely too short for him.
"It's fine. I'll make it work. Anyway, it's past three in the morning—it's just a few hours. Go get some sleep; you have class tomorrow," he said, shooing me away.
"Okay," was all I managed to say.
"I can handle myself. Just go get some sleep—you need the energy for school. I know you're busy. Night," he added.
I quickly headed to the room I was using. Luckily, Mitch had already placed a pillow and blanket there. I had thought about just giving him the ones I was using since it wasn't even that cold—summer was in full swing. I grabbed the ones Mitch left on my bed so I could give them to him before changing and finally getting some sleep.
"Ugh, Lui! You're gonna look like a panda again at school later. I think looking like a panda has become my new hobby! Just to clarify—I never dreamed of becoming a mascot!"
"Here, take these. Good night. I'll turn off the lights here and leave the one in the kitchen on so it's not too dark," I said, handing him the pillow and blanket before moving toward the switch. Just as I was about to leave for my room and get changed, he gently held my wrist.
"What?" I suddenly felt nervous. It was a bit dim—not completely dark, but the only light came from the street lamps filtering through the window. The kitchen light wasn't on yet since I had turned it off earlier.
"Are you sleepy? Uh… never mind. Just go and get some sleep. I'll wake you up so you won't be late for class," he said.
"Okay. Night," I replied, and as soon as he let go of my wrist, I rushed into my room.
"Whew! What was that?!" My heart was pounding! That seriously freaked me out. "Damn it!" Now I'm even more annoyed. "Ugh!" Forget washing up—I'd lose even more time if I did. And just looking at my bed made me feel even heavier. I needed sleep!
"Pfft. Really, Lui? So exhausted, but the moment he grabbed your wrist, you were suddenly wide awake and ready to stay up all night?!"