The Going Merry sliced through the Grand Line's waters, rocking like a drunk Sea King as Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 huddled awkwardly near the stern. Nami clung to the helm, her eyes wide as a freak storm erupted—hail one second, blazing sun the next, then a tornado twirling fish overhead.
"WHAT IS THIS WEATHER?!" Nami screeched, dodging a flying tuna. "THIS ISN'T NORMAL!"
Raja lounged on a rune-carved hammock he'd conjured mid-deck, sipping a glowing blue cocktail. "Welcome to the Grand Line, Straw Hats. Chaos is the dress code."
"We're off course!" Nami snarled, yanking the Log Pose. "Whisky Peak's THAT way, you lazy wizard!"
"Relax, Navigator Nami," Raja smirked, flicking his wand. The ship's runes flared, nudging the Merry back on track. "Your Supreme Vice-Captain's got it handled."
The island loomed ahead—Whisky Peak, a cactus-studded rock with a suspiciously cheerful vibe. Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 leapt overboard without a word, swimming like their lives depended on it.
Raja waved lazily, shouting, "COME BACK ANYTIME, YOU WEIRDOS! I'LL SAVE YOU A SEAT ON MY Magic Show!"
Sanji Saddened. "Miss Wednesday why have you leaved your Loving Knight."
The townsfolk swarmed the docks, cheering like the Straw Hats were rockstars. "Welcome, pirates! We LOVE pirates here!" a bearded man bellowed, shoving barrels of booze their way.
Luffy's eyes sparkled. "FOOD? PARTY? YES!"
Zoro squinted. "This smells like a trap."
"Nonsense!" Raja grinned, cape billowing dramatically. "They're just dazzled by my greatness. Let's feast!"
The town square erupted into a pirate paradise. Luffy shoveled meat into his mouth like a human vacuum, Sanji twirled through a crowd of giggling women, and Usopp regaled a circle of awestruck locals with tales of slaying "ten Sea Kings with one sneeze."
Nami and Zoro faced off in a drinking contest hosted by a curly-haired man—Igaram—offering a sack of gold to the winner. "Outta my way, mosshead!" Nami slurred, chugging her tenth mug. Zoro smirked, downing his fifteenth without blinking.
Raja, meanwhile, owned the stage. He belted out a booming rendition of "Sweet Wizard Dreams," danced a jig that set his robes sparkling, and conjured doves from his wand—only for one to poop on Usopp's head mid-story.
"OI, RAJA!" Usopp yelped, shaking a fist. "WATCH IT!"
"Adds authenticity to your epic tale, sniper king!" Raja cackled, vanishing a table into glitter and reappearing with a card trick that set a kid's hat on fire. The crowd roared, tossing coins.
Sanji swooned at a brunette. "Marry me, my desert rose!"
"She's MINE, curly-brow!" Raja interrupted, teleporting between them with a rose conjured from thin air. The woman swooned—straight into Sanji's arms.
"GET YOUR OWN!" Sanji barked.
Nami stumbled over, victorious, clutching the gold. "I WIN! Zoro's out cold—hic!"
Zoro snored face-first in a puddle of ale. "Lightweight," Raja muttered, poking him with his wand.
As the party wound down, Igaram whispered to his cronies, "Capture 'em alive—higher bounties that way."
Raja, sprawled on a rooftop with a sixth sense for treachery, yawned. "Zoro, hit the Sack. I'll squash these pests."
Zoro cracked an eye open. "Don't die, magic freak." He rolled over and snored louder.
Raja leapt up, cape swirling like a storm. "OI, YOU FAKE PIRATE FANS!" His voice boomed, amplified by a charm. "YOUR ACT'S WORSE THAN USOPP'S AIM! TIME TO MEET YOUR WIZARD DOOM!"
The bounty hunters—Baroque Works' Billions—froze, then snarled. "That wizard's trouble! Eliminate him!"
Raja grinned, snapped his fingers, and poof—vanished in a puff of purple smoke. The crowd gasped. "WHERE'D HE GO?!"
The Billions scrambled, firing wildly into the fog. Raja reappeared in the square, scratching his head and looking up at the roof he'd just left. "Huh. Nice view up there."
"GET HIM!" a Billion roared, unloading bullets. Raja vanished again—poof—and the shots ricocheted, dropping three Billions in a heap.
Mr. 8, a pompous man with curly hair cannons, barked, "He's just a trickster! Kill him!"
Raja materialized behind him, sliding his wand through Mr. 8's locks like a comb. "Hey, curly. One grave enough for ya, or should I book a family plot?"
Mr. 8 yelped, spinning and blasting his trumpet gun—at his own men. "STOP MOVING, YOU FOOL!" he screamed as Billions ducked.
Raja chuckled, fading into a Mirage spell. "Catch me if you can, losers!"
Mr. 9 charged, bat swinging. "I'LL TAKE HIM!"
Inside, Nami—stone-cold sober despite her act—rifled through a chest. "Bounty hunters, huh? Lousy treasure haul."
A Billion on a rooftop fired at Raja, who dodged with a twirl, bursting into a house. Surrounded, he flipped a table—"MAGIC-MAGIC WIND BLAST!"—and sent the goons flying through walls, clapping for himself. "Bravo, me!"
He vaulted to another roof, dodging a bazooka blast that cratered the street. "Nice try, rocket boy!"
Miss Monday hurled a wine barrel. Raja flicked his wand—"Petalus Transformus!"—turning it into a flower petal shower that drenched the Billions behind her. "Smell the roses, suckers!"
A fake nun and kid lunged. Raja yawned, lifting them with telekinesis and tossing them into a haystack. "Nap time, phonies."
Inside the bar, Billions stomped on Luffy and Usopp. Usopp mumbled, "Five Sea Kings… zzz…" Sanji, asleep, grabbed Usopp's arm. "Oh, my sweet—huh?" Nami ignored them, pocketing a few coins.
Back outside, Raja cast "Magic-Magic Icy Slip" on a roof. Billions skidded, cartoonishly tumbling off the edge. Miss Monday roared, slamming brass knuckles through the shingles—Raja caught her fist mid-punch, smirking. "Super strength? Cute." He lifted her by the head like a ragdoll, tossing her into a fountain. The crowd gasped.
Mr. 8 reloaded his hair cannons. "The Marines underestimated you, trickster!"
Mr. 9 grinned. "Lower numbers mean stronger agents, wizard boy!"
Miss Wednesday summoned Karoo, her duck. "SHAKE 'EM UP!" Karoo waddled over… and offered a handshake. "QUACK?!"
Mr. 9 leapt with a "Hot Blooded 9 Guts Bat!"—and tripped off the roof, face-planting. Miss Wednesday twirled into an "Alluring Perfume Dance." Raja gagged. "IS THAT SEWER WATER?!" She slashed; Karoo tripped over her instead.
Mr. 9 tied Raja's arm with rope. Miss Wednesday waved a knife over sleeping Luffy. "Surrender, or he's duck food!" Mr. 8 fired hair cannons—BOOM!—but Raja spun Mr. 9 into the blast, then yeeted him at Miss Wednesday. They crashed in a tangled heap.
Raja hopped onto Luffy's bloated belly—BOING—launching himself to Mr. 8's rooftop. "MAGIC-MAGIC FIRE ROCKET!" A fiery blast engulfed Mr. 8, singeing his curls. Luffy jolted awake. "Huh? Why'm I outside?" He flopped back asleep.
Two figures strolled in—Mr. 5, picking his nose, and Miss Valentine, giggling under an umbrella. The Unluckies swooped, but Mr. 5 waved them off. "No need. These idiots know too much."
Mr. 9, dazed, cheered. "Reinforcements!"
"Nope," Miss Valentine smirked. "We're here to clean house. Starting with the princess."
Mr. 8—Igaram—paled. "PRINCESS?!"
Mr. 5 nodded. "Miss Wednesday's Nefertari Vivi, Arabasta royalty. You're both under arrest."
Igaram fired his cannons. Mr. 5 flicked a booger—BOOM!—and the blast fizzled. Miss Valentine floated, unscathed. "Time's up, Captain Guard."
Raja, lounging on the roof, twirled his wand. "Well, this got juicy. Popcorn, anyone?"
To Be Continued…