The Going Merry rocketed down Reverse Mountain like a rollercoaster designed by a madman, fog thicker than Sanji's pickup lines swallowing the Straw Hats whole. Waves crashed, wind howled, and the crew? Completely unfazed.
Luffy hung off the figurehead, laughing like a lunatic, while Raja leaned against the railing, sipping a magically conjured cola and smirking like he owned the Grand Line already.
"Zoro, you hear that?"Nami squinted into the mist, clutching the helm.
Zoro, half-asleep with swords in hand, grumbled, "Yeah, sounds like wind. Or Usopp snoring again."
"OI! I DON'T SNORE!" Usopp yelped, clutching his slingshot like it'd save him from embarrassment.
Sanji lit a cigarette, peering ahead. "Wait… is that a mountain? We're gonna crash into a bloody mountain!"
The fog parted like a dramatic curtain, revealing not a mountain—but a massive, scarred whale with a face that screamed "I've seen some stuff." Its giant eye stared blankly at the oncoming ship.
"THAT'S NO MOUNTAIN, YOU IDIOT!" Nami shrieked. "IT'S A WHALE!"
"Cool!" Luffy grinned, already imagining a whale-sized sparring partner.
Zoro unsheathed a blade. "Veer left, Nami! We'll carve a path!"
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Usopp wailed, clinging to the mast. "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
Sanji wrestled the helm, sweat dripping. "This thing's stuck! We're doomed!"
Raja sighed dramatically, flicking his wrist. A golden glow enveloped the ship as his telekinesis kicked in, slowing the Merry to a leisurely drift just inches from the whale's snout. "Relax, peasants. Your Supreme Wizard Vice-Captain's got this."
The crew gaped. "Why didn't do that earlier?!" Usopp screeched.
"For Chaos usopp," Raja smirked, twirling his wand. "You're welcome."
Below deck, Luffy—unaware of Raja's heroics—yelled, "CANNON TIME!"He ignited the cannon with a Sun Breathing flare, blasting a fiery shot into the sea. The recoil jolted the ship sideways, parking it neatly beside the whale.
"LUFFY, YOU MORON!" Nami roared, kicking the air where he'd been.
Raja dusted his robes. "See? Teamwork. I stop us, Luffy parks us. Genius."
The whale—Laboon, as they'd soon learn—didn't flinch. Zoro narrowed his eyes. "It's not moving. Let's bolt before it notices us."
Too late. Luffy, fuming at the whale blocking his Grand Line debut, leapt onto the deck and screamed, "MOVE, YOU BIG DUMB FISH!" He reared back, his fist, and punched Laboon square in the eye.
The crew froze. "HE DID NOT JUST—" Sanji stammered.
Laboon blinked. Then roared. Water surged, sucking the Merry—and the crew—into its gaping maw. Luffy, ever the chaos magnet, grabbed a tooth and climbed atop the whale's head, shouting, "GIVE ME MY CREW BACK, YOU OVERSIZED SUSHI!"
Inside, the ship bobbed in green waters under a painted blue sky, a tiny iron island floating in the middle. Nami blinked. "Are we… inside its stomach?"
"YES, AND I HATE IT!" Usopp whimpered, hugging his knees.
A giant squid erupted from the water, tentacles flailing. Before anyone could react, a harpoon skewered it, and an old man emerged from a house on the island, dragging the corpse like it was Tuesday's groceries. He plopped into a lawn chair, cracked open a newspaper, and ignored the gaping Straw Hats.
Sanji stormed forward. "OI, OLD MAN! SAY SOMETHING!"
Usopp waved his slingshot. "YEAH, OR I'LL… UH… FIGHT YOU!"
Raja shoved them aside, strutting toward the old man with the swagger of a rockstar. "Step aside, peasants. Watch a master work." He cleared his throat, striking a pose—cape billowing (yes, he enchanted it to billow indoors)—and boomed, "Greetings, humble whale-dweller! I am Rudra D. Raja, Vice-Captain of the Straw Hats, Supreme Wizard King, heir to Merlin, slayer of dark lords, and future ruler of all wizards! You may bow—or at least put down that damn paper and talk to me!"
Sanji facepalmed. "Why are we letting him talk?"
Usopp whispered, "Because he's scarier than the squid."
The old man—Crocus—lowered his paper, peering over it with the calm of someone who'd seen weirder. He paused, sipped nonexistent tea, then deadpanned, "Nice speech, kid. I'm Crocus. 71½, Gemini, AB blood, Twin Capes Lighthouse keeper. This is my resort. You're rude."
Raja blinked. "Resort? RESORT?! We're in a WHALE'S GUTS, YOU MADMAN!"
Crocus shrugged. "Painted the sky myself. Keeps things cozy."
Nami clutched her head. "Painted sky?! WE'RE GONNA BE DIGESTED!"
Crocus pointed lazily at a door in the "sky." "Exit's there. Chill."
The ship rattled as Laboon rammed the Red Line, scars visible on its head through the green water. Nami gasped. "It's in pain! Look at those wounds!"
Usopp paled. "Wait, is HE torturing it from the inside?!"
Zoro gripped his swords. "We need to bounce before this ship melts!"
Raja scoffed, patting the Merry's railing. "Dissolve? Please. I enchanted this beauty with runes—turned her into a magical fortress! She could tank a Sea King's sneeze!" He flicked his wand, projecting a glowing hologram of the ship's upgrades—reinforced hull, anti-acid coating, Bubble Sheild, under water Radar and a Trash dispenser. "Behold my pride and joy!"
"YOU PUT A Camera near the Bath?!" Nami screeched.
"Opps!," Raja Smirked.
Waves surged, blocking the exit. Crocus dove into the stomach depths like an Olympic swimmer. Meanwhile, Luffy—still atop Laboon—tumbled into a tunnel of flowing liquid as the whale thrashed.
Inside, two shadowy figures—Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday—lurked, whispering. "We kill the old man, rip out the whale's guts, feed the town for decades," Mr. 9 smirked, twirling a bazooka.
Crocus climbed out the sky-door, syringe in hand, and jabbed Laboon with a sedative. The ramming slowed. But then—Luffy fell from above, crashing onto Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday, sending all three splashing into the digestive juice.
"CAPTAIN!"Usopp yelped. The crew hauled Luffy out, dragging the soggy duo along. Crocus glared at them. "Hands off my whale."
Mr. 9 laughed, aiming his bazooka. "Too late, geezer!" Miss Wednesday fired hers too—straight at Laboon's stomach wall.
Crocus lunged to block it. "NO YOU DON'T!"
Raja flicked his wand. "Petalus Transformus!" The rockets morphed midair into a shower of flower petals, fluttering harmlessly to the water. Crocus blinked. Mr. 9 gaped. "WHAT THE—?!"
"Magic, losers," Raja grinned. "Next time, I'll turn YOU into fertilizer."
Luffy, dripping wet, stomped over and knocked the duo out with a single Sun Breathing punch. "QUIT MESSING WITH MY RIVAL!"
Crocus dusted his hands. "Thanks, wizard kid. And you, punchy." He glanced at the unconscious pair. "They're townsfolk after Laboon's meat. Idiots."
Nami crossed her arms. "Explain the whale, old man."
Crocus sighed, launching into Laboon's tale: an Island Whale from West Blue, bonded with the Rumbar Pirates 50 years ago. They left him with Crocus, promising to return in three years. They never did. Now Laboon rammed the Red Line, waiting, his bellows a cry for his lost crew.
Usopp teared up. "He's got a human heart!"
Sanji lit another cigarette. "Why care, Crocus? They ditched you too."
Crocus glared. "I'm his doctor. I won't let him die."
Luffy grinned at Raja. "Gimme a boost!" Raja flicked his wand, launching Luffy skyward. Midair, Luffy ignited a Gomu Gomu no Sun Red Hawk, slamming Laboon's head. "FIGHT ME, WHALE!"
Laboon roared back. The crew screamed as the ship rocked. Luffy landed, laughing. "It's a draw! You're my rival now, Laboon! We'll rematch after I conquer the Grand Line!" He grabbed paint from the ship, climbed up, and slapped a sloppy Jolly Roger on Laboon's face. "Don't destroy the flag 'til I'm back!"
Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday bolted, dropping a Log Pose. Luffy snagged it as two weirdos—Mr. 13 (an otter) and Miss Friday (a vulture)—bombed them mid-escape. "UNLUCKIES!" they screeched, fleeing.
Nami stared at the Log Pose. "Compasses don't work here?!"
Crocus nodded. "Grand Line's magnetic fields. That Log Pose shows the directions next islands in grand line, and leads to Laugh Tale."
Usopp gulped. "One Piece is there?!"
Crocus shrugged. "Gol D. Roger found it. Maybe it's real, maybe not."
Luffy grinned. "We'll see when we get there!"
Then—disaster. Luffy devoured their food stash. Sanji kicked him. The Log Pose snapped in the chaos. Nami kicked them both. "YOU IDIOTS!"
Crocus tossed them his Pose. "Take it. You saved Laboon."
Laboon spat Sanji, Luffy, and the soggy duo out into the sea. Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday, shivering, begged, "Take us to Whisky Peak!" Crocus scowled, but Luffy shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
Raja, as thanks, waved his wand. The Twin Capes Lighthouse glowed, upgraded with magical lights, spotless and filled with food rations. "Enjoy, old man. Don't starve."
Crocus smirked, watching the Merry sail off. "Crazy kids… just like Roger's Crew."
The Straw Hats waved, Whisky Peak ahead, Raja's laughter echoing over the waves. "Grand Line, prepare for the Freedom and Chaos Duo!"
To Be Continued…