The vast ocean stretched endlessly, the sun blazing down with the intensity of a chef trying to overcook his meal. In the middle of this watery nowhere, three very cranky pirates were squished together in a tiny rowboat, each looking more miserable than the last.
Luffy, sprawled on his back, whined dramatically. "I'm so hungry."
Zoro, arms crossed and looking like he was one second away from napping, grunted. "Same. And I need booze."
Raja, sitting with his legs stretched out, sighed deeply. "I swear, if either of you complains one more time—"
Luffy suddenly perked up. "Raja! Can't you magic up some more meat?"
Zoro's eyes cracked open. "Yeah, and while you're at it, make some sake too."
Raja stared at them like they were the dumbest humans alive. "Oh, sure! Let me just pull an all-you-can-eat buffet out of my ass. Should I also summon a waitress to serve you?"
Luffy grinned. "Ooooh, that'd be cool."
Zoro nodded. "Yeah, but she better have some good sake."
Raja smacked him on the head with a book. "NO."
Luffy pouted. "Okay, fine… but seriously, I'm starving!"
Raja rolled his eyes. "Listen, geniuses. If we eat all our food now, what happens if we don't find land soon?"
Luffy: "We… starve?"
Zoro: "We kill Luffy and eat him?"
Luffy: "HEY!"
Raja nodded. "Exactly. So, instead, we can do something smart—like catching a bird or a fish, and Zoro can drink seawater for kicks."
Zoro snorted.
Luffy, however, had other ideas.
A massive bird soared overhead, majestic and very eatable. Luffy's eyes sparkled.
Luffy: "I GOT THIS!"
Before Raja could stop him, Luffy stretched his arm out and grabbed the bird's legs.
Luffy: "HAHA! Gotcha!"
Bird: "You think so?"
The bird squawked angrily, flapped its wings violently, and yanked Luffy into the sky.
Luffy: "WAAAAAAAAAH!"
Raja and Zoro, watching their captain get kidnapped by dinner, just… sat there.
Zoro: "Should we… help him?"
Raja: "Nah, he deserves this."
Zoro shrugged. "Alright then."
After a few seconds of watching Luffy disappear, Raja sighed dramatically and flicked his wand.
"Magic-Magic: Wind Speed Boost!"
The rowboat suddenly shot forward like a speedboat, cutting through the waves like a knife through butter.
Zoro: "DON'T FLIP US OVER, DAMN IT!"
Raja: "Hold on to the ship, not your swords, Baka!"
Just as they sped toward Luffy's location, a group of pathetic-looking pirates appeared, blocking their path.
Pirate Captain: "Halt! Hand over your valuables and your boat!"
Zoro cracked his knuckles. "Oh, this should be fun."
Before the poor fools even had a chance to blink, Zoro single-handedly took them all down in seconds.
Pirate: "W-Wait! Spare us! It wasn't our fault!"
Raja leaned down. "Not your fault? Explain."
Pirate: "A girl! She tricked us! She said she needed help, but she stole our ship and left us stranded!"
Raja grinned. "She sounds fun."
Zoro: "Shouldn't we find Luffy first?"
Raja: "Meh, she'll probably find Luffy first."
And so, with Luffy still kidnapped by a bird, they continued toward Orange Town.
Meanwhile, Luffy crash-landed right in the middle of a chase scene. A red-haired girl was running for her life while a bunch of angry pirates chased her.
Luffy grinned. "Hey, what's up?"
The girl, not even breaking stride, grabbed Luffy by the arm and smiled. "Oh, thank goodness! My brave and handsome boss has arrived to save me!"
Luffy: "Huh?"
Pirate: "WAIT, HE'S WITH HER?!"
Nami nodded rapidly. "Oh yes. And he's super strong."
Pirates: "OH HELL NO."
Luffy easily beat them up.
The girl, seeing this, introduced herself as Nami. She suggested a team-up, but when Luffy let slip that he's a pirate, she changed her mind and instead tricked Luffy into letting her tie him up.
One minute later, Luffy was locked in a cage and presented as a gift to Buggy Pirates while Nami sat nearby, enjoying the party.
Luffy: "Wow. You're a liar."
Nami: "No. You're an idiot."
Luffy grinned. "You should join my crew."
Nami rolled her eyes. "Why would I join a pirate crew?"
Luffy: "Because you're good at tricking others, and you tricked me—A Genius Captain."
Nami blinked. "First, I only trick pirates. Second, who told you that you're a genius?"
Luffy: "My vice-captain told me I'm a one-in-a-million genius born every 800 years!"
Nami's lips and eyebrows twitched as she imagined Luffy's vice-captain being an even bigger idiot than Luffy.
Back at the edge of Orange Town, Raja and Zoro arrived, dragging the defeated pirates behind them.
Zoro: "So, why are we looking for Buggy's pirates again?"
BOOM.
A massive explosion shook the town.
Raja grinned. "Still asking?"
Zoro sighed. "Nope. That's definitely where we'll find Luffy."
They followed the explosion and barged into Buggy's hideout, finding Luffy locked in a cage while Buggy's crew cheered like idiots.
Raja waved. "Hey, Captain! Nice cage."
Luffy: "Thanks! You gonna let me out?"
Zoro: "Nah, it suits you."
Buggy, noticing the intruders, roared. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
Zoro unsheathed his swords. "Your death."
Raja smirked. "Your worst nightmare."
Buggy's eyes twitched. "Kill them."
Buggy's crew attacked in full force, but Zoro effortlessly blocked every strike.
Raja added some flair by casually flicking his wand.
"Magic-Magic: Windy Wipeout!"
A mini hurricane exploded on the battlefield, sending half of Buggy's men flying.
Buggy growled. "You think you can beat me, Buggy the Clown pirates?!"
With a smug grin, Buggy used his Chop-Chop Devil fruit and detached his arm and sent it flying toward Zoro with a dagger.
Zoro, who had never seen a man detach himself before, froze. "WHAT THE—"
Raja casually zapped Buggy with Magic-Magic: Zapping Thunder!
Raja then redirected Buggy's cannon at Buggy's pirates and fired.
BOOM!
Buggy screamed as he and his crew exploded out of the building.
Nami gasped. "YOU JUST FIRED A CANNON AT THEM?!"
Raja shrugged. "He'll be fine." He then lifted Luffy's cage and ran like hell.
As they escaped to the centre of the town, Nami tossed Luffy the key to his cage.
Before Luffy could grab it—
CHOMP.
A random dog ate the key.
Silence.
Luffy: "…"
Raja: "…"
Zoro: "…"
Luffy: "I hate that dog."
Raja: "I like him."
Zoro: "Should we just cut the dog open?"
Nami gasped. "NO! You Demon!"
Sure, here's an improved and more fluid version of that scene:
Raja, who had caught the word "Demon," suddenly straightened up, his eyes widening. "Did someone say demon?"
Before anyone could respond, he grinned and, with a dramatic flair, shouted, "Well, lucky for you, I'm excellent at exorcising demons!"
In a flash, Raja transformed, his attire shifting as if by magic. Gone was his usual pirate getup, replaced by a ridiculous but somehow impressive Pastor Raja outfit: a flowing robe, a collar, and an oversized holy book in hand.
With a deep, booming voice, Raja began reading Bible verses, loudly and proudly. "And lo, the Lord said, 'Be gone, ye foul spirit!'"
Nami, confused and alarmed, took a step back as Raja started to sprinkle holy water—or what appeared to be holy water—in her direction.
"BEGONE, DEMON!" he yelled, splashing the water at Nami with the grace of someone baptizing a very unwilling soul.
Nami's eyes widened, completely dumbfounded. "What the hell are you doing?!"
Raja continued, oblivious to her protests, as he spun around dramatically, spraying more water and waving his book. "The power of the Lord compels you, foul creature!"
Zoro, who had been silently observing, smirked. "Well, that's one way to get her to stop tricking people."
Nami, drenched in a mix of water and whatever ridiculous spell Raja was weaving, looked at the sky and groaned. "Really? A pirate pretending to be a priest now? What's next, a choir of angels?"
Raja grinned, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "I don't need angels, sister. I've got holy water—and the word of the Lord."
Luffy, who had been munching on some random snack in the background, looked up. "Holy water? Can I drink some?"
Nami let out a loud, frustrated sigh, looking for any possible escape from this bizarre scene. "You're all insane."
And thus, their next great challenge began—negotiating with a stubborn dog.
To Be Continued…