Death smiles at all of us, the only thing we can do is brush our teeth.
I know that makes no sense, and I probably sound like a coward. But once, I shared a joke along similar lines during a show:
'The other night my wife and I had an argument, and by the end of it I had that woman on her knees!
She was saying, 'Come out from under the bed, you coward.''
…
Right now, Malthus, the red man, has gone bigger in size.
He said that he gets stronger from pain. Talk about a Masochist's final boss.
Nevertheless, how do you defeat someone like that? The Supreme Man had warned me not to die against him. I reassured him with my brilliant logic: 'I'll die first so he won't be able to kill me.'
That was some weird ass logic and Supreme Man said the same thing :
[ You can't die. It's all over if you die. ]
'Then you should have given me an immortality skill.'
[ There is no such skill. This isn't some fictional nonsense. ]
Oh, If only he knew.
'I'll see what I can do.'
[ Yes. You have the brains. Just show some guts and you will win. ]
'I showed my guts when I exploded a few seconds ago.'
[ Angh… Crack all the jokes you want, but end this first. ]
'Yeah. And you should also try to find out who these invaders are. They should also have a God for them.'
[ Yeah. Me and Donald Jump are on it. ]
'Who that?'
[ The Alien God. That's his name. ]
'Of course it is. Just hurry it up.'
[ Yeah. Good luck. ]
'And don't forget your promise if I win.'
[ Don't worry. You'll definitely get your hands on me. ]
'Not that promise, you lunatic. The thicc chicks promise. Don't ruin my mood by making me visualize my hands on you.'
[ Oh. Yes. You will also get that promise. ]
'There is no 'also'. That is the only promise I want.'
[ Fine! Now shut up and focus! ]
'Yeah. Yeah. Get lost.'
The Supreme Man finally went away. That guy talks a lot, I swear.
"What now, friend?" Sexis asked, standing at my right side.
"Have you figured out any of your skills yet?"
"Indeed. I have reviewed some of the names, and they exude a sense of formidable strength."
"Good. Now use th-"
"As if I will let you two live to use anything!"
SHRILL!
Ah, hell.
Malthus moved faster than I could see, and before I knew it, his massive hand was wrapped around my throat. Sexis was in the same predicament.
Malthus lifted us both in the air and his palm covered my whole neck. Now I know how my grandpa must have felt when he got down with an Orc.
Wait.. he probably felt good. Yep. Forget that comparison. I am not feeling good at all right now.
I have to do something. Otherwise, this bastard would snap my neck.
But I could barely move my head. Just how strong is this guy? My lungs were screaming for air. Oxygen wasn't reaching my brain like it should, and I couldn't even speak.
Sexis was my only hope.
With the limited movement I had left, I shifted my pupils toward him. His big alien eyes caught mine, and I sent him an urgent message through frantic eye gestures.
He nodded in understanding.
"Fear not, my friend. This time, I shall undoubtedly assist you. I am on the verge of unleashing a devastating skill."
Him speaking fluently under a chokehold is devastating enough. Does he have a throat somewhere else?
Sexis spread his arms. "This skill shall rain down pain on you, Malthus. This is…"
Raising his scythes skyward, he bellowed:
"Acid Rain!"
Malthus and everyone else immediately looked up.
"Heh. Acid won't harm me, Hero King," Malthus sneered.
But I had my doubts.
'Supreme Man, is this what I think it is?'
[ Yes. ]
Oh, dear lord.
Out of all the skills he could've chosen, he had to pick that one
Everyone stared at the sky and nothing happened.
"This is a joke," Malthus scoffed.
But then—
DRIP.
DRIP.
The sound of droplets.
But from where?
"Nothing fell from above… so why do I hear dripping?" Erect asked.
"I'm feeling something," Malthus muttered, growing uneasy.
Sexis lowered his gaze and spoke with quiet remorse. "Actually… it's not coming from the sky."
"Then?" The Heroes asked.
Sexis closed his eyes.
"It is my urine."
GASP!
A collective gasp resounded through the battlefield as everyone jerked their heads downward.
Even Malthus.
His nostrils flared like a raging bull.
"You pissing fiend!"
That's right.
Sexis used the same skill I used when I was a toddler.
A stream of liquid splashed onto Malthus' waist.
Steam sizzled off his red skin.
Sexis wasn't stopping.
"That's… a lot of liquid," Erect commented.
"I was already scared, and this Skill just made it worse! I can't stop it!" Sexis wailed.
"But damn, that's one hell of a move," Ted remarked. "Imagine pissing on your enemy."
"DAMN YOU ALL TO HELLLL!!"
Malthus snapped.
He hurled us both away and rubbed his hands over his body, attempting to clean it.
We soared through the air before crashing onto the ground a good distance away.
The moment we landed, Sexis immediately bowed to me.
"My sincerest apologies, my friend. I assumed acid would rain from the heavens—I had no idea it would manifest in this manner. I should have taken the time to read the Skill's details."
"Don't worry. The task failed successfully. We are free."
"That's right. However, vanquishing him remains imperative. Even potent acid has failed to yield results. What strategy shall we employ next?"
"That guy is dead set on killing us. I may be scared but I won't die before giving my all."
"Then… are you contemplating the same thing as I am?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"Alright."
Sexis cracked his scythes.
I also took out the swords from my back and tightened my grip.
There was only one way out of this, and we both knew it.
"We fight."
"We apologise."
I blinked, slowly turning to Sexis.
"Pardon me, but… what the fuck?"