The text from Diamond flashed across my phone screen: "Hey. You okay? Wanna talk?"
My blood ran cold. The memory of the night before, of me and Diamond nearly kissing on her bedroom floor, slammed into me with the force of a runaway train. It had felt so right, so…natural. Yet, it was wrong. Momo, my girlfriend, or rather, ex-girlfriend, was still fresh in my mind, the image of her entangled with some random guy from Class 1-A burned into my retinas. Was I just rebounding? Was I thinking straight? My brain was a complete disaster zone.
Did I even like Diamond? Wait…what if I was in love with her? Oh, God, this was a mess.
I groaned, running a hand through my perpetually messy white hair. I needed help, and I needed it now. Katsume, was always a good sounding board. I quickly dialed his number.
"Katsume," I said, my voice tight. "I need to talk. Now."
He picked up on my urgency immediately. "Meet me at the usual spot?"
I nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Yeah, be there in five."
When I arrived, Katsume was already there, leaning against his motorcycle. He was a whirlwind of controlled chaos, brown hair with blonde tips framing his sharp features. I quickly spilled the beans, recounting the entire, sordid tale. Momo's betrayal, the near-kiss with Diamond… I left out the vigilante stuff, of course. That was a need-to-know basis, and Katsume didn't need to know. It was best that way.
Each word felt like a lead weight dropping into my stomach. By the time I finished, I felt nauseous, like I was dying from internal conflict. Katsume, usually a fountain of explosive opinions, was uncharacteristically silent.
"Y-you guys what?" he finally mumbled, his voice laced with disbelief.
"I know, I know…" I whispered, feeling a blush creep up my neck.
He remained silent, and I knew he didn't have the answers I craved. With a sigh, I thanked him anyway and went back to VA.
Peter. I needed Peter. More than ever now.
I fired off a desperate text: "Peter, emergency. Can you talk? Need your wisdom ASAP."
He responded within seconds: "Always, my friend. What's up?"
I poured out my heart, texting the whole story. Peter, bless his soul, was stunned but, thankfully, full of surprisingly sage advice. He told me to call Diamond, to talk to her, to hash things out.
And so, I did. My fingers trembled as I dialed her number. It rang three times before she picked up.
"Diamond?" My voice was barely a whisper.
"Anos? Is everything alright?" Her voice was laced with concern.
"Can we…can we meet? I need to talk."
There was a pause. "Yeah, okay. Where?"
"The bench near the park. In an hour?"
"I'll be there."
I hung up, my heart pounding in my chest. I had to leave VA, without raising suspicion. I quickly scribbled a note for Shira, explaining I had a family emergency, and practically sprinted out the door.
The rain started as I made my way to the park, a light drizzle that quickly escalated into a downpour. It mirrored the turmoil raging inside me.
Diamond was already there when I arrived, huddled under a large black umbrella. She was wearing a simple jacket and sweats, her usual punk-rock aesthetic toned down.
"Hi," she said softly, her blue eyes, usually so bright and confident, were clouded with uncertainty.
"Hey…" I mumbled, avoiding her gaze. I was clad in my usual jeans and a leather jacket, not at all prepared for this emotional battlefield.
We sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, the only sound the drumming of rain on the umbrella.
"I'm sorry…" Diamond finally whispered, breaking the silence.
I glanced at her, surprised. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I was vulnerable, and I let my emotions cloud my judgment. You deserve better than that." I reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of black hair from her face.
She nodded, her gaze fixed on the ground. She was nervous. Unsettlingly so. I had rarely seen her truly nervous, at least not around me.
I inhaled deeply, steeling myself, and put my finger under her chin, gently lifting her face until her eyes met mine. A faint blush blossomed on her cheeks.
"What should we do?" I mumbled, the question heavy with unspoken feelings.
She shook her head, her eyes pleading. "I don't know, I really don't." Her voice cracked with emotion.
"Are you scared?" I asked, my voice barely audible above the rain.
She nodded, a single tear tracing a path down her cheek. "Always…when it comes to feelings. I don't want to lose you, Anos…"
"I don't want to lose you either…" I muttered, my heart aching.
"Maybe…we should…" She trailed off, her voice hesitant.
"Stay friends?" I finished for her, and she nodded, relief and sadness warring in her eyes.
I understood. I understood perfectly. Now wasn't the time. Not for either of us. We weren't ready. Not in the way we needed to be. There were wars coming, both literal and figurative, and the last thing we needed were distractions, no matter how badly we might want them. We needed to focus, to be strong, to help the world.
We could wait. Couldn't we?
The question felt foreign on my tongue. I wanted her, but I knew there were bigger things at stake. It wouldn't be worth it…not right now.
Our eyes met, glazed with pain and unspoken need. We avoided the truth, burying it deep within our hearts. We had to.
She let out a shaky breath. "So…we're okay?" she asked, her voice tinged with hope.
I nodded, forcing a smile that felt brittle and fake. "Yeah. Perfect."
I knew she saw through the lie, but she didn't call me on it. She just offered a soft, sad smile in return.
We stood up, still under the umbrella, and went our separate ways, swallowed by the relentless rain.