I must have staggered for several miles before it dawned on me, I left Stormbreaker when I was five years old. I probably don't remember the way home.
I turned around one last time as I reached the boundary between Ravenwood and common land and I ignored the pain I was feeling as I said goodbye to the only home I knew, in the same breath I prayed to the moon goddess for a better life in Stormbreaker pack.
I trudged down the deserted path, exhaustion weighing me down. Suddenly, headlights illuminated the darkness.
I turned around, resigned to fate.
It can only mean two things - a helper I can hitch a ride with or an axe murderer, and knowing my luck, I would say Axe murderer.
A sleek black van pulled up beside me.
I held my breath. I think deep...very deep down inside, I wanted it to be Ryder and he came to tell me that this was just a big joke and that he loves me more than words could say because the alternative was much worse.
The alternative was staggering down the road with nothing to my name and going back to the mother who sold me at five years old.
I wanted Ryder.
It would be a while before I forgave him but I would forgive him eventually because he...in this fucked up version of my reality, he was my fairy tale happily ever after.
But it wasn't him.
Joshua's concerned face appeared through the driver's window.
"Kai, get in," Joshua said softly.
"Josh, what are you doing here?"
"Taking you to Stormbreaker," he replied, his voice firm as he leaned over to open the passenger's side.
"Josh, you shouldn't be here."
I said and kept walking. That my life was over didn't mean I get to blow up Joshua's life.
I'm radioactive. I could implode his life just by talking to him
"I won't let you go alone," Joshua countered.
"And I won't put you in Alpha Greg's crosshair or jeopardize your future as Ryder's beta"
He opened the door and stepped out. "Don't force me to bully you, Kai. Get into the fucking car before you freeze to death!"
"Josh, you'll get in trouble," I warned.
"Better than leaving you vulnerable," Joshua said. "Come on, Kai," he urged.
I hesitated before entering.
He made me lie on the back of the Van. I shivered and I yelled a couple of times.
I prayed and cussed for the pain to stop. The further we were from the pack the more painful my whole body was.
I didn't just lose a mate, I lost my best friend.
We stopped at a drug store and Joshua bought some pain medication.
It didn't help.
Then I stop screaming or wriggling or any other thing to express my pain.
I just sat at the back of the old rickety van and stared at nothing. The only sign that I was in pain was the sweat that tripped down and soaked my clothes.
Then the van stopped. And Joshua turned around to say
"There is an inn right off route 66, if you want to take a shower or something"
"A shower?" I blinked in confusion.
Do I stink that much?
"You need a shower, Kai. Your pheromone is everywhere. It's probably your heightened emotions"
"Oh" I said. If I wasn't exhausted, I would have been embarrassed. "Sorry"
"Don't apologize" He murmured.
We drove for a few minutes before the van stopped.
"Kai?" Joshua called out to me because of the sudden quietness since I made no attempt to exit the van.
"Kaidaira"
"I am fine. I just want to sleep" I whispered to him.
"We are here" He declared.
Joshua pulled over at a quaint roadside motel with a neon sign that said "Roadside Motel"
Wow!
The owner really went to bat when naming it. I peep out the window to look at it. It was one of those places I see on television where drug dealers come to shoot each other - how befitting!
"Time for a break, Kai."
"Did he say anything to you?" I asked him and sat up to look at him.
I wanted to make sense of today because no matter how much I tried to wrap my head around it, it wasn't making any sense.
"Who?"
I had a feeling he knew who, he was just buying himself a little time.
"Ryder" I whispered. "Did he say anything to you? Did you know he was going to reject me today?" I asked him and blinked back tears.
"Ryder does what Ryder wants every other person be damned, Kai. And I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do to stop him. Sorry, Kaida"
I looked away and forced a smile. "Well, no need crying over spoiled milk, right?"
Tears dropped down my cheek and I wiped it off.
"Let's find you a shower," Joshua said firmly.
"Why?" I asked.
"Your pheromones are overwhelming," Joshua admitted.
Joshua was like a brother to me. It shouldn't bother him like that. "Do I have to catch a disease in this little death trap for a little pheromone malfunction, Joshua?" I asked him.
His eyes dropped, avoiding mine.
A faint blush spread across his cheeks.
His voice softened, "Kai, your scent...it's everywhere. Please, take the shower, okay?"
"Oh" humiliation washed over me as I stepped down from the van. "Sorry" I murmured.
Great!
First, I lost my husband and home...and now, I can't keep a lid on my pheromones... fucking wonderful.
Can today get any worse, goddess?
It's me... aren't you done punishing me?!
Slavery...check!
blood bank... Check!
childless wife...check!
Rejected mate and now, fucking pheromone malfunction...check! Check!
Aren't you tired of picking on me?!
"Don't sweat it. I will get us a room and some food, wait here"
As Joshua walked away, I felt an unsettling stir within me. Something unfamiliar, like I'm experiencing it for the first time.
I think something bad in me was awoken for the first time.
My heart quickened.
My skin prickled with awareness. If I didn't know any better I would say I was horny.
What the fuck?!
Who the hell thinks about sex on a day like this?! And for Joshua.
Joshua? Seriously!
But his broad back retreated from my view and even after he was gone, I kept staring, fighting every urge to go after him and have him pin me against the wall and screw me senseless.
Jesus Christ!
Kaidaira! I almost slapped myself for thinking such a disgusting thought for Joshua!
Joshua? Eww! He was like my brother.
But His earthy scent lingered in the air even after he left and his soft footsteps echoed.
It was worse when he returned.
"I hope you like sandwiches. I bought one for you, I can't say how edible they would be, I mean I did see some cockroaches on the vending machine…"
I zoned out as I watched him
Joshua's broad shoulders , his muscular contours and the way his faded denim hugged his waist…who would have thought it?
Joshua McNeily grew up hot and sexy!
I moved closer to him and I touched his face and smiled.
"What's funny?" He asked me and chuckled. "You are acting weird"
"I never realized how beautiful you really are, probably because you are always hiding behind my husband's shadow. Ryder is hot and all but you, Josh…you are actually breathtaking"
Joshua blinked like he had something in his eyes.
My pheromones surged, enveloping Joshua.
He stood frozen, eyes locked on me.
My gaze dropped to his lips, this irresistible urge to crush my lips down with his until we become one, envelope my entire being.
Without thinking, I leaned in and softly, my lips brushed Joshua's.
He lifted me up from the ground in a swift swoop. And started walking towards the motel, I giggled all the way, couldn't wait to feel him inside me, pleasuring me.