Previously on MILF Mountain…
Mona, the Ultimate Mom, has taken over the party.
Kazuya and the crew are clean, well-fed, and emotionally stable.
It's terrifying.
But just as Kazuya thought it couldn't get worse…
It got worse.
A DARK PROPHECY REVEALED
The night was calm. Too calm.
Kazuya couldn't sleep.
Something felt off.
He sat up in his tent, glancing at Mona, who was peacefully knitting a battle poncho for the Goose.
Kazuya whispered. "Sylvara. You awake?"
Sylvara rolled over, half-asleep, hugging a plushie Mona made her.
She mumbled. "Mmhh… not mom… five more minutes…"
Kazuya sighed.
That's when Lady Ravynne walked in, looking disturbed.
"Kazuya. I've read the prophecies."
Kazuya blinked. "What prophecies?"
Lady Ravynne handed him a forbidden scroll.
He unrolled it and read:
"When the Mother's Love grows too strong, a new power shall rise…"
"A force of nature, a woman of unshakable wisdom, sass, and snacks…"
"She is neither mother nor maiden…"
"She is… THE STEP-MOMMY PRIME."
Kazuya dropped the scroll.
"Oh no."
Lady Ravynne nodded. "Oh yes."
Mona perked up. "Oh, dears, what are we talking about?"
Kazuya and Lady Ravynne screamed.
ENTER: THE STEP-MOMMY PRIME
The ground shook.
The sky darkened.
Suddenly, a dimensional portal burst open in front of them.
From within, a high-heeled boot stepped out.
And then—SHE appeared.
A tall, sophisticated woman with perfectly styled hair, glasses that screamed 'I know your taxes are wrong,' and a fitted power suit stood before them.
She adjusted her glasses.
"So. This is the party my darling Mona has been taking care of?"
Mona gasped. "Eleanor?!"
The woman smirked. "It's been a while, darling."
Kazuya squinted. "Wait… you two know each other?"
Mona blushed. "Oh, Eleanor and I used to—"
Eleanor cut in, smirking. "Let's just say Mona and I have history."
Kazuya turned to Sylvara. "That sounds really sus."
Sylvara nodded. "Extremely sus."
Eleanor sighed. "I'm not here for nostalgia. I've come to restore balance. You've been drowning in Mom Energy for too long, Kazuya. It's time you learned the ways of—"
She struck a dramatic pose.
"STEP-MOM ENERGY."
Thunder cracked in the sky.
Kazuya fell backward.
Mona gasped. "No! He's not ready!"
Eleanor smirked. "Oh, he will be."
TRAINING ARC: HOW TO SURVIVE A STEPMOM
Eleanor snapped her fingers.
Suddenly, Kazuya was in a strange realm.
A giant suburban neighborhood stretched as far as the eye could see.
Rows of immaculate SUVs, HOA-enforced gardens, and wine nights at 5 PM filled the landscape.
Eleanor folded her arms. "Lesson one: The Passive-Aggressive Power Move."
Kazuya gulped. "H-How does it work?"
Eleanor smirked. "Watch and learn."
She turned to a random villager.
"Oh, sweetie, you're wearing that? So bold of you!"
The villager immediately burst into flames.
Kazuya screamed.
Eleanor smirked. "Now, your turn."
Lesson Two: The Ultimate Guilt Trip
Eleanor sat down with Kazuya. "Now, say you want something. What do you do?"
Kazuya thought for a moment. "Ask nicely?"
Eleanor shook her head. "No, no, no. You guilt them into giving it to you."
She picked up a sword and handed it to Kazuya.
"Try to take this from me."
Kazuya grabbed it. "Mine now."
Eleanor sighed dramatically.
"Oh… I see. No, no, it's fine. I guess I just don't matter. I'll just sit here, unarmed, defenseless, probably get attacked by a random monster… but it's okay. I'm used to disappointment."
Kazuya's soul left his body.
He immediately gave the sword back.
Eleanor smirked. "Good boy."
THE FINAL TEST: MOM VS. STEP-MOM
Back in the real world, Mona sensed a disturbance.
She looked up. "…She's getting stronger."
Sylvara whispered. "Kazuya might actually be learning."
Bradimus: "Does this mean we'll be free from Mom Energy?"
Lady Ravynne: "Or does this mean we'll be trapped in Step-Mom Energy?"
The Goose: "HONK."
The ground shook.
A massive energy wave exploded from the sky.
Kazuya descended from the heavens, glowing with newfound power.
His eyes burned with wisdom.
His stance radiated authority.
Mona gasped. "Oh my stars… he's mastered… Step-Mom Energy."
Eleanor crossed her arms, satisfied. "It is done."
Kazuya looked up at Mona. "Mother… it is time for our final battle."
Mona smiled warmly. "Oh, honey. You really think you can out-mom me?"
Lightning crackled.
Eleanor whispered. "It begins."
NEXT TIME ON 'HELP! I'M THE CHOSEN ONE (AND I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS)!'
🔥 THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN: MOM VS. STEP-MOM!
🔥 KAZUYA REACHES HIS TRUE FORM!
🔥 WHAT EXACTLY DID MONA AND ELEANOR DO IN THE PAST?!
DON'T MISS IT!