"Would you like to have a chat?"
"Sure, I was the one who proposed it after all."
"Right..."
"How has your journey been?"
"Well... I guess... intense... I killed a bunch of monsters... and then... I met with a guy, he was pretty whiny, but he wanted my help, so I helped him... I think his name was Raskolnikov or something like that... and then we met up with the Lord of Dreams, and we helped him out... and then I went my own way... and met with the others... and now... and now I'm here, I guess."
"That... that does sound intense. I'm glad you were able to help those people out."
"Yeah... I'm glad too..."
"..."
"... what about you?"
"Oh, I also started out on my own... then I helped a few people out here and there... and then I met with Jeanne and we found this place... so we decided to stay here and help... and eventually a big number of child Servants started arriving, so we created a school for them... a shelter, if you will. They don't deserve to get caught up in this mess."
"No, they don't... they definitely don't..."
"... is there something in particular you wanted to tell me?"
"... aren't you the one who invited me..."
"..."
"... I also found a kid on the way to you. She was called Miki. I tried saving her. I really did. I didn't care how much I got hurt, as long as I could save her. And yet... I failed. I couldn't do anything. I was powerless. Naturally, you saved all the kids you met, so I'm sure you can't understand how I feel..."
"I know. I know that you must have felt awful, and you didn't deserve it, to feel in such a h-"
"That's the point. That's what you don't understand. When Miki was dying right in my arms, she started telling me about her parents, about how much she missed them, and how they supported her and held her hand when she was scared. And as she kept getting weaker and weaker, I realised that what was hurting me the most inside in that moment was not pain... but envy.
I envied her. I envied that little girl that was dying. And I felt horrible about that. And that made me envy her even more. Because she had someone she could rely on, someone that would help her navigate the world, someone that cared about her, someone that could help her when she was scared, someone on whose shoulder she could cry on... and I... I didn't have any those things... those things, that everyone else takes for granted... as they should... and yet... I didn't have any of that..."
"Mordred, listen, you have to understand-"
"I don't understand! I don't understand you. I don't know you. All my life, I looked up to you as this perfect ruler, as a perfect knight, a perfect leader. King Arthur. The paragon of virtue. Compared to you... everyone was inferior because you were... perfect. You never had love, envy, rage, any emotion rule over you, you were the embodiment of everything that was right and virtuous.
And then, once I came here, I saw a side of you that not only I never knew existed, but I never even thought it could exist. I saw you being angry at someone, even hitting them, I saw you eating your heart out at dinner, and I saw you worry for a kid that you couldn't find. And all I kept asking myself was... why couldn't you be like this when you were with me? Was it my fault? Was I not worthy of your humanity? Was I that unwanted that you were afraid that showing me your emotions would make me think you were weak?
I always tried to be the perfect knight, but I never could. How could I? You existed. So regal, so knightly, so perfect. You cast away everything. Your emotions, your pride, your identity and womanhood. I thought that by doing the same I could be like you. But everything I did... it was just never enough. And then I find you here, wearing a skirt, waving around your sword at those who annoy you, and joking around with everyone. And so... what was everything I did for? Why could I not be treated this way? Why couldn't I have a parent, instead of an idol to worship? I wish I could say you were a bad father, at least I could get some closure. But you're not. You were just an ideal I kept chasing in my lifetime, that never existed in the first place.
There's just one word that keeps ringing in my head: why? Why? I try to come up with my own asnwers, and they all scare me. Was it because I was unwanted? I'm sorry that I were such a burden for you, but I didn't ask to be born this way, all I ever wanted was for someone who could trust me and tell me how they felt, someone with whom I could do the same. But how can I trust you? I don't know anything about you, about the real you. Were you scared when you pulled the sword from the stone? Were you sad when Lancelot betrayed you? Did you feel guilty when Gawain's brothers died? What did you feel when I stood before you, ready to kill you? I don't know.
I recognise I was a terrible son, probably a terrible person, and yet... even terrible people have someone who cares for them... but I had no one... only a marble statue that kept reminding me how filthy I was. I don't expect you to love me after what I've done... and yet... even in this moment... I'm hoping... I'm thinking... I'm wondering... why I don't deserve someone who loves me. Why do I always have to accept the short end of the stick? Why can't I be an innocent child for once, who can be afraid, sad, angry... who can cry... who can... who can be... a child... why am I...
Why am I the only one who doesn't deserve love?"
Mordred asked as she kept her head low, slightly turning away, a useless attempt to hide her tears.
There was a silence for half a minute, only interrupted by Mordred's muffled sobs.
"... that's not true. You do deserve love. And I'm sorry that you feel this way. I really am. And it pains me greatly. When I was king- when I was ruler, I kept asking myself what path I should take... in the end, I thought that by covering my weakness, I could show everyone a path, not to be perfect, but to be better... I have since realised how foolish I was... I was mistaken, I lost my humanity, or at least, according to everyone else, and I just caused people to not understand me... When I was summoned in the Fourth Holy Grail War, I wanted to use my wish to prevent the fall of my kingdom, not for my sake, but for the sake of the others including you.
That was a selfish wish. I should have recognised my arrogance. I wanted to alter fate, without altering myself. I tried to correct the mess I had created with correcting what had caused it: myself. And so, it was only inevitable that I failed. I had to kill Lancelot, and I caused the deaths of so many people... all for nothing. All for a selfish wish. And then I was summoned again... and I met people... people who made me rethink my choices... people who made me see my mistakes... people who made me realise that it was ok to be human, ok to show weakness and emotion, ok to admit to my mistakes and to be who I am, or who I always wanted to be. Because of them, I realised that up until that point... I was the one who was weak.
And so I accepted myself for who I am. But now... I am forced to admit, that in reality... I may be a selfish and foolish person. I thought that because I changed then everything would have been fine... unconsciously, I told myself that the past didn't matter... but that's not true. I accept my mistakes, but that doesn't excuse them. I was wrong. I failed. I treated every single one of you wrong, I treated you wrongly, and now, I have to own up to my errors. I am so sorry. You didn't deserve a terrible person like me as your parent. I know that this won't change how you feel about me, but I want you to know that if there's someone to blame for all the pain that you, Lancelot, Gawain, myself, everyone experienced... that someone isn't you, it's me. I'm the one to blame."
"... I don't need a scapegoat... I want a parent."
"I can be one, if it's not too late."
"... you can try."
"Yes, I will... I promise... I promise you, Mordred... because you deserve it..."
"No... we both do."
Mordred tried wiping her tears away, but Artoria quickly hugged her, as tears of her own ran down her face. Mordred froze for a few seconds, before returning the embrace.
"I love you."
"... I love you too, Mordred."
The following morning...
Everyone woke up, carrying themselves to the cafeteria together with their sleepiness, and once they entered, they were flabbergasted.
The entire room had been turned into shining gold, with beautiful chairs, dishes and the most delicious-looking sweets.
At the centre, Gilgamesh sat, in a round table with another chair.
"My Saber, would you like to join me for breakfast?"
Saber came closer, moved her hand forward, and while Gilgamesh moved forward, ready to kiss it, she swiped away the food.
"No, thanks."
"Don't reject me and steal my food at the same time!"
"There, there, Goldie. Better luck tomorrow."
"Come on, let's move to a bigger table..."
"Damn it Saber, why have you got to be this difficult."
"Not a bad idea, though, if I may."
"Next time you should hold the food closer to you. The way to a ruler of Britain's heart is through the stomach."
Saber sat down next to Mordred.
"Which one do you prefer?"
"Uhm... this one... I guess..."
"Vanilla glaze? Great choice!"
"If it's your favourite you can have it..."
"No, don't worry, I prefer cream. Hey, Jeanne, come here please."
"What is it, Artoria?"
"I want you to meet someone special. This is Mordred, my son."
"Daughter."
"?"
"I'm Artoria's daughter."
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Even though we already met yesterday..."
"Isn't she awesome?"
Artoria laughed as she patted Mordred's head.
"What are you doing, Father?"
"Praising you."
"Stop it... it's embarrassing."
"Aw, look, she's blushing how cute."
Mordred eventually overheated and became a soulless head that kept being patted.
"It really seems like talking it out was the right call. They look much happier now."
"I guess they do. Strange... Last time they met, they killed each other. And now... look at them."
"It's the magic of love, Salty."
"Yeah, yeah, it's all magic until something bad happens to one of them."
"Salty! Don't be an owl!"
"A what?"
"An owl. Nowadays, in my hometown, when someone brings bad luck, they're called an owl."
"I'm not an owl. I'm just being realistic."
"That's something an owl would say."
"Don't you have an off switch?"
"Yeah, it's called 'too much wine'."
"I never thought I'd hate life this early in the morning..."
"Saber... my Saber... why... why..."
"Thank you for the sweets, Sir!"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Jack."
"And I'm Jill."
"... no problem kids."
"We are going down the hill to play with the others. Do you guys want to join?"
"... sure."
As he limped away from the cafeteria, Gilgamesh saw Saber standing right in front of him.
"..."
"..."
"Have you reconsidered my-"
"No."
"... then what are you-"
"Listen... you're scum. That will never change, and I'll never stop thinking that."
"... ok..."
"But... thank you for rescuing my daughter. I am in your debt."
"Then-"
"No, not in that way or in any other weird way you're probably thinking right now."
"... it was my pleasure..."
Down the hill...
"Wow! So pretty! Thank you, Mister!"
Kama and Alice moved around in awe, taking as many jewels and gems as they could from the ground and putting them on, pretending to be great queens.
"Do you know what this is called?"
"Red stone?"
"Hehe, close, it's a ruby."
"Wow..."
"And this?"
"This is a sapphire."
"What about this? I shall call it Kamagem!"
"That's a nice name, it's also called emerald."
"I like my name better!"
"Then Kamagen it is."
"..."
"Is something the matter, Arty?"
"Where did that nickname come from? No, it's fine, it's just... weird."
"What's weird?"
"... that."
"Well, maybe he has a soft spot for kids."
"I can hardly imagine that."
"Well, that's a good thing. If we could imagine how people are perfectly, there would be no fun in knowing them."
"..."
"Besides, who doesn't like kids?"
"I don't."
"Salty, you're literally holding a child right now."
"Yeah, but I like this one, he doesn't complain and just sleeps."
"What's his name?"
"Blue I guess."
"Blue?"
"Little boy blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn.
Where is the little boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under the haystack, fast asleep."
"Ah, good."
"I also like Gothy."
"Who's Gothy?"
"Hi."
"Ahhh! Don't frighten me like that, my dear."
"The Miss in black told me."
"Hey, we must keep the suspense going, Gothy."
"And where does she come from?"
"She's the embodiment of everything that's known typically as "Gothic"."
"Ah, that explains the black dress... and why Salty likes her."
"Anyway, this is harder than I thought..."
"Father, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to make your hair into a pigtail, but it's so unruly... how long ago did you last wash it?"
"Don't ask me such questions..."
"Anyway, I'm glad we're here, Goldie seems to be doing better than ever."
"At the expense of my happiness."
"You say that, Arty, but right now, aren't you in a better place than before? Don't you feel better too?"
"... yeah, I guess I do, yeah. I'm happy."
Someone started clapping slowly but rhythmically.
"What a lovely display of affection and happiness. I'm nearly moved to tears."
Everyone turned around.
A young woman was walking toward the centre of the playground. She had black square glasses, black trousers, a shirt and an unbuttoned brown waistcoat.
Every adult present knew her identity. It was Alaya.
"Unfortunately, I cannot allow it. I have other plans for you. It's time to take this show into a more interesting direction."