Chapter 3: Glitched Reality & The First Dungeon
(Day 2 – Early Morning)
Loading… World Event Triggered: "Unintended Depths" Difficulty Spike: Irresponsibly High
John opened his eyes to find his bed floating three feet in the air. The tent roof above him kept flickering between canvas and "404 Texture Not Found."
"Huh. Did I sleep in a dev zone?"
He rolled off the bed, landed on solid fog, and opened his [STATUS🔻] tab.
Buff: Well RestedBuff: Dreamwalker (Temporary)Side Effect: Dialogue with Reality enabled
A textbox popped up in the corner of his vision.
[REALITY]: Good morning, John. Please don't break anything today.
John replied, "No promises."
—
Back at the base, Robert was cooking eggs over a fire made from rubber hoses and optimism. Asha chased Wibby around with a notebook, asking it questions like "Do ghosts poop?" Asheila was boiling water while reciting investment strategies to calm her nerves.
Life was strangely… stable.
Which meant, of course, something had to break.
And it did.
The air trembled. The fog parted. A massive door materialized in the sky, slowly lowering itself onto the ground like a bugged elevator from a cancelled sci-fi game.
A huge prompt appeared.
[DUNGEON UNLOCKED: The Basement of Basement Realities]
Tier: 5-A (Small Nation)Danger Level: SatiricalBoss: "Karen Prime – Multiversal Complaint Manager"Reward: UnknownEntry Fee: NoneCasualties: Up to You
John clicked [Accept], because of course he did.
The door creaked open.
—
Inside, everything looked like a corrupted version of a customer service center. Flickering lights. Desks covered in paperwork. Robotic assistants with coffee mugs embedded in their faces. Walls made of clipped textures from 17 different games.
An NPC walked up to John. It had a name tag: "Hi I'm Null"Its face was permanently stuck between joy and confusion.
"Welcome to the Basement of Basement Realities. How may I not help you today?"
John said, "I'm looking for the loot and possibly a new philosophical crisis."
Null handed him a clipboard made of smoke.
[First Objective: Survive the Queue]Time Limit: EternalEnemies: Boomers, Pixel Wraiths, Refund Seekers, Lost Developers
John clicked [Skip Queue].
The entire room screamed.
[ERROR: That was not allowed.]
From every corner, angry entities began to spawn—floating spreadsheets, bugged-out human figures that shouted "I'd like to speak to your manager!" and servers in trench coats.
John flexed his cleaver.
"I live for this."
—
Fifteen minutes and four bugged boss fights later, John was in a break room sipping a digital smoothie called "Banana.exe." It caused nausea in most living things. He was fine.
[Inventory Update]
Glitched Loyalty Card ×1Bugged Boss Slippers ×2Karen's Left Earring of Echoed Complaints ×1Map Fragment – Lower Reality (7%)
John leaned back and sighed. "This place is a treasure trove of absurdity."
Then, the air shifted.
A single entity stepped forward. It looked like a PTA mom fused with an AI chatbot. Hair in a perfect bun, eyes glowing with cosmic HR violation energy. Her name tag read:
"KAREN PRIME – DO NOT IGNORE"
"Excuse me," she said with unholy calm, "Your existence has not been approved. I'd like to file a complaint with God."
John cracked his knuckles.
"I'd like to counter-complain."
—
BOSS FIGHT INITIATED: Karen Prime
Abilities: Reality Override, Infinite Nagging, Complaint LasersWeakness: Being IgnoredImmunity: LogicLoot: ???XP: A Lot
The room became an ever-shifting mess of floating shopping carts, review forms, and customer hotline music on loop. Karen Prime raised a hand and launched a volley of complaint missiles:
"I ordered THIS with soy milk!""This cleaver isn't regulation-sized!""Why am I being attacked for my opinions!?"
John dodged effortlessly, sliding across a glitched tile and toggling [Ignore NPC Dialogue].
Karen Prime staggered.
[CRITICAL HIT – HER WORDS MEANT NOTHING]
John pulled out Blenderbane and rushed forward, cleaving through one of her discount shields made of expired coupons.
He unleashed a combo:
[Mute All Enemies][Flash Refund][Force Review Crash]
Karen glitched midair, sputtering holographic stars.
"Unacceptable…"
John jumped.
"Uninstalled."
With a final slam, she exploded into a chaotic stream of store receipts, social media rants, and golden coupons.
(+4000 XP)(+New Title: "Anti-Karen")(+Dungeon Cleared)
[REWARD ACQUIRED – Reality Shard (x1)]
Use: ???Description: "Feels like the tutorial's over."
—
John exited the dungeon to find the base had upgraded itself while he was gone.
Auto-turrets hummed. Solar panels glistened. The survivors now had tents with bug-resistant insulation and a working toilet that sang lullabies.
Robert approached, holding a strange mechanical egg.
"This dropped while you were gone."
[Hatched: Robo-Chicken]Name: EggwardType: Utility PetSkill: Finds Memes in BattleBuff: Moral Support +5%
John stared at Eggward. The chicken saluted him, then dabbed.
He nodded. "Welcome to the squad."
Then, a message popped up.
[WORLD SHIFT DETECTED]
New Region Unlocked: "Meme Mountains"New Threat: "The Influencer Horde"New Weather: Algorithmic Fog
John looked at his base, his squad, and his ever-growing inventory of nonsense.
There were zombies groaning in the distance, wandering the cracked asphalt like drunk partygoers with no curfew. A few were slapping their heads against his invisible perimeter shield, leaving greasy forehead prints on the barrier like rejected mimes.
Meanwhile, inside the base:
A Robo-Chicken was sharpening a spoon on a whetstone, muttering something about revenge.
Robert was hammering scrap into armor plates while humming a country war song.
Asheila was turning spoiled canned beans into biofuel using nothing but a pressure cooker and sheer passive-aggressive energy.
Little Asha had befriended a half-broken zombie arm and named it "Wiggle." Wiggle, to everyone's confusion, was now helping with laundry.
And John?
He stood at the top of his rust-stacked watchtower, chewing expired gum, holding a blueprint titled "Plan Z: Win With Vibes," and wondering if his sanity was evolving… or retiring.
"Menu," he said.
[STATUS🔻]HP: FullMood: Chaotic CuriousCurrent Buff: +15% Humor ResistanceSpecial Effect: Can't Die From Cringe (Duration: Unknown)
The zombies outside groaned louder, drawn by noise and movement… or possibly the scent of Asheila's mysterious stew, which was now glowing faintly.
John zoomed in his vision—500 meters.
Rough count: 100+ shufflers. Some slow. Some twitchy. One dragging a refrigerator like a pet.
Flip, his frog sidekick (spawned via mod menu earlier), croaked from his shoulder.
"Big guy's back. The Fridge-Walker."
John blinked. "He's still alive?"
"Or undead. Same vibe. Fridge still plugged in though. Efficient."
John sighed, checked [ITEMS🔻], and selected:
1x Rusty Grenade (Half-Joking)
1x Firecracker Stick (Loud)
1x Spray Can (Definitely Flammable)
1x Broken Guitar (Still Tuned to D Minor)
He tossed them into the crafting slot. Combine.
[New Item: Molotov Mariachi Distraction Bomb 🎸🔥]
Description: When thrown, causes a brief explosion followed by 17 seconds of loud mariachi music and flames. Zombies can't resist the rhythm. Neither can allies.
John lobbed it over the wall.
BOOM-CHA-CHA-CHA!
Flames exploded in technicolor. A trumpet solo pierced the sky. Zombies began stumbling in rhythmic unison. One even did the worm. The Fridge-Walker started headbanging, slamming the fridge into the ground like a beat drop.
"...That's mildly impressive," Robert muttered, tightening his scrap armor.
John smirked. "That's art."
Asha clapped. Wiggle did too. Somehow.
Flip just croaked, "We've angered the natural order."
John patted his frog. "Natural order went extinct, buddy."
Then came the system notification:
[WARNING: HORDE MIGRATION DETECTED]
A new group of evolved infected are rerouting toward your location. ETA: 16 hours.Recommended: Reinforce defenses, upgrade weapons, kiss your weird hobbies goodbye.
He cracked his neck.
"Sixteen hours, huh? That's enough time to build a kill zone, cook a risky meal, and take a power nap."
Flip sighed. "Only you would nap before an apocalypse part two."
John turned to his squad. "Team, it's time we make a base that even the undead fear."
Robert raised his bat. "Time to build or die trying."
Asheila wiped her hands on a napkin that read "Do Not Disturb: Apocalypse Mode."
Asha armed Wiggle with a tiny duct-tape slingshot.
John opened [BUILD🔻].
"Let's go full mad engineer."