Jasmine's POV
The water gently caresses my hands as I let it flow. I can't think of anything else rather that what she had almost made me do. What did she want from me?
"If you're done wasting hospital resources you can now scrub in Willows." I heard a deep but soft voice behind me say, snapping me out if my trance.
"Sorry doctor Lorcan." I respond, taking the iodine solution.
"One more thing, I didn't let you scrub in because of any relationship we share, rather because I know you are a good nurse. You are competent. Nothing more" he reminds me, his gray eyes staring straight into my emerald eyes.
"I don't expect anything more sir." I respond, looking back at him.
He walks into the operating room and I follow suit.
It has been five hours straight, since we walked into the operating room. Open heart surgeries tire the living crap out of me.
"Good job everyone, close him up. Nurse Willows, continue to closely monitor for the next hour." Lorcan says.
"I will doctor." I reply. With that, he goes to inform the family.
It's been forty five minutes, and all I have been doing is staring at the patient's monitor for any changes, but he has been fine so far. His wife and daughter are still here. The little girl is asleep while the wife is praying that the heavens return her husband back to her.
"You could have killed him." I hear a voice whisper to me.
No Jasmine.
Don't listen, ignore.
Just then, I notice a spike in Mr. Meyer's BP just when I'm about to call doctor Lorcan, my mouth closes shut, and I feel my strength leaving me.
No Jasmine, snap out of it.
He needs you
I feel her slowly take over.
No Jasmine, you can't let her.
Just as I was about to lose hope, Dr.Locan happens to pass by. I gather the remaining courage I have and run to him.
"What is the matter Willows?" He asks me.
I can't open my mouth to speak, and I cant move my hands to signal him either. I widen my eyes.
"Talk to me Willows." He whispers almost angry, untill he notices the quick rise and fall of my chest, and the wideness in my eyes. He then composes himself, and heads to Mr. Meyer's room. When he notices the spike, he adjusts the IV drip and his BP goes back to normal.
"Is there a problem doctor?" The wife asks.
"No Mrs. Meyers. There is no problem. Just a slight adjustment. Your husband is going to be conscious anytime now. He's completely fine." He says reassuringly.
"Thank you so much doctor." The wife says, hugging Lorcan tightly. As soon as he hugs her back, I feel a pinching pain surge through my body.
No, I can't be jealous. It's just a patient.
With that Lorcan walks out of the room and before he could have time to approach me, I rush to the nearest bathroom.
There after confirming that I'm alone, I breakdown again. What is wrong with me?
"No, no,no, I'm not going insane. I'm completely sane. Then why am I freezing in the middle of life threatening procedures?" I tell myself, the look at myself in the mirror, and slap myself hard across the face.
"Wake up Jasmine." I tell myself, and slap myself hard again, and again, and again, and again. Just when I was about to do it again, a hand stops me. I turn to see Lorcan, staring at me. I couldn't tell if it was anger, disgust of worry in his eyes, but there was definitely something.
"Jasmine, what are you doing?" He asks, assessing my red cheeks. I just stare blankly at him. He takes out his handkerchief, wets is then slowly pats my cheek, then does the same on the other side. He then wipes of the blood from my bruised lip.
"What is wrong with you? Are you crazy?" He asks, angry.
"Why do you care? You said that whether I lived or died it wouldn't make a difference." I said.
He grabbed my hand tightly, and pinned me to the wall. Our bodies were literal centimeters apart and his spearmint breath filled the air I was breathing.
"Your life and death is only in my hands. No one else, not even yourself,is allowed to lay a hand on you. Just me. Only me. Understand?" He seeths, then let's me go.
As the blood rushes back to where he had so tightly held I felt pain. I was about to start crying again like the weakling I am when my reflection stares back at me.
"Did he hurt you?" She asks me. Her red eyes we're full of fury.
"No...." I start.
"You are not insane. I exist. And you are never supposed to be weak. How did you get to the point where you even hurt yourself?"
"You. You are making me feel weak. You use me as a puppet. You make me useless and useful at will. I can't control anything now. Neither my mind not my body." I tell her frustrated.
She just stares blankly at me. Then all of a sudden, she makes me slap myself even harder.
"Instead of complaining like a little whimp, learn how to regain control. Strong people aren't born, unless you're Samson. Strong people are made. Now you should learn to be strong...."
"I don't want to." I say cutting her off. I then take a deep breath, force a smile, and walk to my locker, grab my things, and head to the bus station.
There I spot Lorcan waiting for someone in this car. Just when he was about to see me, I hid behind a pillar. When he saw that whoever he was waiting for hadn't arrived, he drove away. Right then, the bus arrives, and I get on it. It's quiet in here unlike the noisy ER. Now my thoughts start gathering themselves. She is right. I have to learn to be strong. But how? She thinks it's as easy as taking vital signs? Just then, the bus stops outside my apartment gate. I get off the bus and wave friendily to the driver, then walk into the gate.
"Hey Jasmine, he arrived a while ago, weren't you with him?" The gatekeeper asked me.
"No. I had to stay back a while." I reply with a smile.
"Oh okay. Have a good night." He says to me.
"You too Luke." I reply to him, then head to my apartment.
I open the door and get in where I meet with Rafael, who had already set the table.
"Where we're you? I was waiting for you." He says.
"I had to finish up with something." I say, as I hang my jacket and bag and take off my shoes. I then I head to the kitchen and wash my hands.
"Come and eat. I know you haven't eaten since morning." He says without even looking at me. I humble myself and join him.
"What the fuck happened to you." He asks.
"As if you don't know." I say under my breath.
He grabs my hand, and takes my to our room, where he pats my lip and cheek with ice cold cotton swabs. As he was doing so, we got closer and closer. Our bodies were in contact and he stared down at me while I couldn't help but stare at his full lips. I immediately hated myself because in this moment, all I wanted to do was kiss him.
It was once quiet, but now I could hear his heart pounding against his chest hard. And mine was too. The sexual tension between us intensified and he slowly leaned in towards me. I shut my eyes and slightly parted my lips. Just when our lips touched, his phone rang. He immediately withdrew and I snapped out. He checked it once and left without a word. Almost a second passed, then my pager also rang. Seriously? Now? I just huffed heavily and also left.