Jasmine's POV
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
I check the monitor. BP 90/60, pulse 20, SpO² 55, we're losing him.
No. Not again.
"Code blue, patient is hypotensive and bradycardic, I need a crash cart in here." I call out as I start performing CPR. "No, he can't die today. Not today, not in my arms." I think to myself.
Some nurses rush in with a crash cart and one immediately bags the patient and starts administering Oxygen.
"Let him die. He is of no use to you." I hear a voice whisper to me.
Before I could even make another move, I feel my hands weaken. So I intensify the compressions.
"Be careful nurse Willows you will break the patients ribs!" One nurse told me. Immediately she said so, I felt my arms loose all their strength, and suddenly I couldn't move. Time had frozen for me. Everything slowly faded away, and all I could hear was someone calling my from a distance.
"Nurse Willows, Nurse willows, we're losing the patient." I heard from a distance.
Jasmine.
Jasmine snap out of it.
Jasmine snap out of it.
Jasmine SNAP OUT OF IT.
Finally I snapped out of it and continued to give CPR. What was happening to me? What was wrong with me? As I intensified the CPR the pulse started to come back.
"BP 100/68, SpO 79, pulse 61 and rising. " Another nurse said, studying the monitor. Thank heavens. Just then, The wife and daughter rush in and the little girl immediately starts crying.
"Nurse, what happened to my husband? Is he okay?" She asked, clearly worried.
"You're husband just had a heart attack." The doctor said as he walked in. Immediately, all the other nurses almost shuddered in fear.
"Mrs Meyers, I'm afraid we don't have much time left. I suggest we perform the surgery as soon as possible. But the decision lies with you."
"Do it. I would rather take care of my husband for the rest of my life than watch him die. I'm ready to take the risk. Please make him better." She says as it dawns on her that she almost lost her husband.
"I will try my best." The doctor says. "Nurse Willows, a word please." He said calmly. But the rage in his eyes spoke a different language.
My heart stopped and my blood ran cold. Did he see what just happened?As soon as he walked out I followed him as a lamb being led to the slaughter house. I knew I was definitely in for it and he wasn't going to forgive me this time.
We stood outside the patient's room, looked around, then when he saw no one was looking he grabbed my left arm tightly as if he wanted to rip it out. I whimper slightly.
"What was that? We're you trying to kill Mr Meyers? If you would have frozen like that for one more minute, right now we would be telling Mrs Meyers a different story. Why did you freeze like that?" He whispered.
What was I supposed to say? That I lost control over myself? That I hear voices? That it wasn't my fault? But it was. It was my fault.
"I'm sorry. " I say to him trying not to studder.
"Next time you do that I won't be so nice, and nor will the medical board. Prep Mr. Meyers for surgery and prepare to scrub in." He says loosening his grip on my hand. As the blood started to flow again into the part of my arm where he had squeezed, I felt a sharp, stinging pain. My tears were at the edge of my eyes
"Jasmine, you are strong. You are stonger than you think. You are not in pain. The pain is non existent. You are fine." I whisper to myself.
"Kill him. Kill him for the pain. Don't let him get away with it." I heard the whisper again. But not this time. I wasn't going to give in this time.
No jasmine.
You are stronger.
You control your own life.
No one has to run it for you.
No Jasmine snap out.
Just when I managed to tame the demon inside me, the devil called.
"Nurse Willows, the senior nurse wants to speak with you." Someone tells me.
My heart wanted to escape my body at that exact moment. I felt it sink. Sweat started dripping from my forehead, and I felt a strong urge to run away. Oh no, not her. As I went to her office, I had a foreboding feeling. I wasn't going to come out alive.
"You wanted to see me Nurse Claire." I say trying so hard not to shiver.
Her brown eyes stared coldly into mine, and I could see a volcano just waiting to erupt.
She moved slowly towards me.
"Jasmine, how long can the brain survive without oxygen?" She asks me. The closer she moves towards me the stronger I feel the urge to run away. "Hours? Days?"
"Minutes..." I reply.
"Minutes Nurse Willows. If you had continued with that shenanigans for one more minute, we would have lost Mr Meyers for good." She seeths and I feel my soul slowly leave my body.
"But I ...."
"Don't you dare try to justify your mistake Nurse Willows. That only pisses me off more" She says. Now we were mere inches apart, and a step closer, would lead to our bodies touching.
Although many people think it is romantic, not in this case, because I could only see anger in her eyes.
"I apologize Nurse Claire. It will not happen again."
She leans even closer to me and my heart races even faster.
"It had better not." She whispers to me with a wicked smile on her face. That was a threat. "Now get out of my office"
I almost ran out. Immediately i was out, I felt the burning stares of those outside, but I composed myself and forced a smile to avoid the eyes, but my strength was gradually leaving me and I felt like I couldn't hold my tears anymore.
So I rushed into the washroom, locked myself in a stall and cried my heart out. I cried so hard I got a headache.
No Jasmine.
You are strong.
With that mantra, I wiped my tears and decided to wash my face so that I can prepare for the surgery.
Infront of the sink was a big mirror. As soon as I washed my face I looked at my reflection, and there she was. Her blood red eyes staring back at me. She had cracks under her eyes, and red light was leaking from those cracks. She had red hair, and her Scrubs were all bloody. Her blood red lips curved into a smirk.
"You" I said to her in anger.