I stood there, stunned for a second, as his words hit me like a punch to the gut. Even now, when he was clearly falling apart, he still managed to put up that wall between us, keeping everyone out. It stung, but at the same time, I couldn't just let him walk away like that.
"I'm not offering fake sympathy, Jihoon," I said, my voice steady. "I know you're hurting, and you can push me away all you want, but it's not going to make the pain disappear."
He paused for a moment, his back still turned to me. I could see his shoulders tense, and for a split second, I thought he might turn around and yell at me again. But instead, he just stood there, the silence between us growing heavier.
"You don't know anything about me," he muttered, his voice barely audible. "You think just because you're here, watching me break down, that it means something? It doesn't."
His words were sharp, but I could hear the crack in his voice, the way he was struggling to keep it together. And as much as it hurt to hear him say those things, I knew that this was his way of coping. He was pushing me away because it was easier than letting anyone in.
"You're right, I don't know everything about you," I admitted, taking a step closer to him.
"But I do know that no one deserves to go through this alone. You might think you don't need anyone, but everyone needs someone, Jihoon."
He scoffed, but there was no real bite to it this time. "I don't need anyone," he repeated, though his voice lacked conviction.
I hesitated for a moment, then decided to take a risk. "You can keep saying that, but I'm still here. I'm not leaving."
Jihoon finally turned around, his eyes meeting mine. The coldness in his gaze had softened, just a little, and for the first time, I saw something other than anger or indifference in his expression. There was hurt, deep and raw, but there was also something else—something vulnerable.
"Why?" he asked, his voice quieter now. "Why do you even care?"
I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his question. I could have easily walked away, let him deal with his pain alone like he seemed to want. But there was something in me that refused to let go, that wanted to be there for him, even if he didn't think he deserved it.
"Because I know what it's like to feel like you're falling apart," I said softly.
"And I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even you."
Jihoon stared at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine, as if trying to figure out if I was being sincere. Then, slowly, he shook his head and let out a tired sigh.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" he muttered, though there was no venom in his words this time.
"Maybe," I replied, offering a small, tentative smile. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm still here."
For the first time in what felt like forever, Jihoon didn't have a snide remark or a sarcastic comment. He just stood there, looking at me with an expression that was a mix of confusion, exhaustion, and something that almost resembled gratitude.
Without another word, he turned and walked past me again, heading toward the rooftop door. But this time, he didn't storm off in anger. He just walked away, quietly, leaving me standing there alone.
And even though he didn't say it, I knew—somehow, in some small way—I had gotten through to him.
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After that day, Jihoon became a ghost. He had always been distant, but now it felt deliberate, like he was actively trying to disappear from my life—and everyone else's. The teacher informed me that our tutoring sessions were no longer necessary, and while she didn't explain why, I knew it had something to do with Jihoon pulling away. It wasn't just me, though. He had withdrawn from BaekHyeon too, and that was the part that didn't make sense.
BaekHyeon was the one person Jihoon never shut out. They were twins, practically mirror images of each other, always in sync despite their differences. But lately, even BaekHyeon seemed to be a stranger to him. I'd seen BaekHyeon try to reach out—nudging him, cracking jokes, doing all the things brothers do—but Jihoon barely responded.
His coldness toward me was one thing, but ignoring BaekHyeon? That was something else entirely.
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On a Thursday afternoon as I was taking some first aid kits to the nurses office I found Jihoon and and BaekHyeon in the nurses office, Jihoon was getting his wrist wrapped up.
"There, be careful of how you move your wrist. The injury could be serious if you put pressure to it." The nurse said.
Jihoon flopped his hand as he got up and looked towards me. We locked eyes for a second but then he looked away and walked past me.
BaekHyeon shot a smile at me and continued behind his brother.
"Oh Minji, thank you for bringing those back." The nurse said
As soon as Jihoon walked past me, I could feel the familiar coldness radiating off him. It was like he had this wall up, thicker than ever, and I was nothing more than an inconvenience standing in his way.
BaekHyeon, though, gave me a warm smile—his way of silently saying thanks, or maybe just trying to smooth things over, like always. It made me wonder how much he had to compensate for Jihoon's behavior lately.
I handed the first aid kits over to the nurse.
"No problem," I replied, though my mind was still stuck on the scene I had just witnessed. Jihoon's wrist... what had happened?
"Is he okay?" I found myself asking, gesturing toward Jihoon, even though I knew it was a risky question.
The nurse smiled gently as she placed the kits on the counter. "He'll be fine, but his wrist was strained pretty badly. Looks like he might've taken a hard fall."
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Later that evening as the sun began to set and students started to head home, I spotted Jihoon standing on the side wall of the school where no one can barely see him. He was so engraved in his phone that he could barely notice anyone around him.
Being a stubborn one I couldn't just walk away, regardless of him pushing me away all the time I took breath in and out and headed towards him.
As I approached Jihoon, I could feel the familiar tension building inside me, the same knot that always tightened in my chest whenever we were near each other. I wasn't sure if it was from frustration, nerves, or the anticipation of another cold rejection. Maybe all three.
Jihoon didn't notice me at first—he was so absorbed in his phone, his brow furrowed, eyes glued to the screen. I hesitated for a moment, wondering what was important enough to steal his attention like that. But before I could second-guess myself, I cleared my throat.
"Jihoon."
He flinched slightly, then quickly locked his phone and slipped it into his pocket. His usual defensive mask was back up in an instant, his face hardening as he glanced at me.
"Here we go?" His voice was sharp, but it lacked the usual bite. He sounded tired, worn out even.
I ignored the sting in his words, determined not to back down. "I saw you at the nurse's office earlier. How's your wrist?"
Jihoon looked away, rubbing his injured wrist absentmindedly. "You really don't know how to mind your business, do you."
He fixed his bag over his shoulders and walked away, "What do you want me to do, I'll do anything." I blurted out causing him to stop.
"You told me i shouldn't talk to you if I couldn't make it better, so I want to make it better." I added.
Jihoon stopped in his tracks, his back still to me. For a moment, he didn't move, and I thought he might just keep walking, ignoring me like he had been doing for weeks. But then he slowly turned around, his expression unreadable.
"You'll do anything?" he asked, his voice low, as if testing whether I really meant it.
I swallowed hard, nodding despite the knot of nerves tightening in my stomach. "Yeah, anything."
His eyes narrowed, and for a split second, I thought I saw a flicker of something—maybe curiosity, maybe disbelief. He was trying to gauge whether I was serious or if this was just another empty promise. The air between us felt heavy, thick with the weight of the moment.
"Sorry but I'm bored already, I'm not interested in what you have to offer." He said turning away from me.
"I hate seeing you like this, that day on the roof top when I saw you crying I felt this pang in my heart that I can't describe." I stated.
"I hate seeing you like this, so I want to make it better. I'll do anything you want me to do I added.
He let out a sigh as he turned to look at me, he gently cupped my face with one hand and grinned. "You're really are full of surprises,"
"First you go from standing your ground, now you want to play as my toy." He scoffed.
I could feel chills all over my body, his touch made me feel so warm. Warmth that I've never felt, despite his harsh words, the way Jihoon's hand gently cupped my face sent a wave of warmth through me. His grin, sharp and teasing, was completely at odds with the softness of his touch. It confused me, made my heart race in ways I wasn't ready to understand.
But his words stung. "Play as my toy?" His tone was mocking, but there was an edge to it, like he was testing me, pushing to see how far I would go. It was frustrating, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to pull away.
I swallowed hard, trying to gather my thoughts. "I'm not trying to be your toy, Jihoon," I said, my voice shaky but steady.
"Then I don't need your comforting." Said pulling away.
As he was about to walk away, I grabbed his shirt and without thinking I blurted "Fine I'll be your toy, just…don't walk away."
TBC