Oh No
Shoto felt himself sway slightly as the elevator stopped at a floor to let in another person. He did not look up or pay any attention as the doors opened and closed as he was staring down at is phone. His grey and turquoise eyes narrowed on the last message he had sent to Ren: I want you too. Half smiling, half frowning, he put the phone back in his pocket and wondered what that girl was doing to him.
Anyone else in his life would tell you it was difficult to get a complete sentence out of Shoto; he was reserved, keeping his thoughts to himself, letting his actions talk for him. His classmates knew he was smart, strong, talented and brave…it required no words to communicate that to them. He always just stayed in his head, never needed to talk to anyone. But with Ren things were different, he wanted to talk to her. Shoto wanted to know what she thought about things, how she felt about things, how she felt about him. No one had ever said the kind of things she said to him…no one ever cared to ask him the things she did. He liked her brain; the different perspective she offered him, the way she challenged his thoughts on the hero world, things things she said when they were alone. All of her was exciting to him; she had become exactly the kind of woman he thought the girl next door could become.
In fact he could still spot the parts of her personality that remained with her since they were younger. Her rebellious side that resented any authority over her was evident in her writing. Her affection for him was there in the way her fingertips absentmindedly stroked his arm as he sat next to her. Her love of mischief was there in the way she flirted with him, teased him, tested him, constantly pushed him to the edge of something dangerous and unravelled him.
The elevator bell dinged, bringing Shoto back to reality. He exited onto his mother's floor and walked through the corridor which was lit by those horrible white hospital lights. He approached his mother's room with a familiar sense of coming home and trepidation; these meetings with his mother were still tinged with the heartbreak of his childhood. He always had to push out the desire to hide his right side from her, no matter how much she apologised, how much she told him she loved every part of him.
"Hi mom," he said with a small smile as he entered.
Standing at her usual spot by the window, Rei turned with a bright smile to see her youngest child, still looking a little sheepish and out of place whenever he came to see her. "Shoto!" She met him in the middle of the room and embraced him, marvelling, as she always did now, over how tall he was. "I'm so happy you came to see me, I thought you might be too busy…"
"Not at all," Shoto said, letting his bag fall from his shoulder and onto the floor by Rei's desk. He was about to sit on his usual desk stool, opposite Rei's bed, but his eye caught on a few drawing pinned on the wall. Beautiful, intricate pencil drawings of flowers, the scenic view outside the hospital and…Shoto! He smiled and leaned forwards to inspect the drawing of himself; his hair falling across his eyes, the lines of his scar etched delicately on the paper, a small smile on his face. "I forgot you draw so well, mom." He said slowly.
"Oh," he heard his mother's voice quiver and turned to her. "I'm not so sure anymore, my hands are not as steady as they used to be," Rei held out her hands in front of her, watching them tremble slightly, a side effect of her medication. She was surprised when Shoto knelt in front of her and clasped his hands around hers.
"Yes, they are," he said confidently, holding her hands steady. His mother smiled, so glad that the sweet boy she remembered still existed in him. Shoto released her hands slowly and sat on the stool opposite her.
"Do you still draw?" Rei asked brightly, "you were very good, Shoto."
"Was I? He frowned, trying to remember a time before training with his father started, "I can't remember."
"You were," her smile faded as she assured him; "I suppose drawing is not as important as training in Enji's house."
"I guess not." A moment of silence as the past, yet again, crept into the room from beneath the door. Menacing and dark, the past was a shadow over this family that never seemed to retreat for long.
"Speaking of your father," Rei said, fiddling with the sleeve of her cardigan, "how is your internship going?" With a deep breath Shoto told her about his week, about his work with his father, the small level villains he had faced, the monotonous bureaucratic paper work at the agency, what he was learning, what he hoped to learn…the list went on. Shoto chose to leave out the part where working with his father was slowly grating on him, that sometimes he still flinched if His fathers flames came to close. His mother laughed at his boredom at the agency, smiled in pride hearing of his victories and smirked knowingly when he told her sometimes he would much rather be doing other things. When Shoto finished recounting his week, he turned his attention to breaking into a juice box and nurse had given him. What is mother said next was so unexpected he completely missed the hole to stab the straw through.
"You know," Rei said slowly, "you can bring Ren to see me next time." She watched with a small smile as Shoto fumbled with his juice box.
"W-what?" He said, trying desperately not to blush.
"Ren," she repeated, "Ren Ishikawa. She must be really pretty now huh?-" Oh no.
"Why would I-?"
"You talk about her a lot, Shoto," Rei's sly smile caused her son's cheeks to turn pink.
"No I don't," he protested but his mother just laughed as her usually composed son began to panic. Her grey eyes filled with a happiness Shoto had never seen before.
"Oh, Shoto, you were always so bad at hiding your feelings when it came to Ren," Rei wiped a tear from her eye as she witnessed Shoto's terrible attempt to conceal the secret.
"What does that mean?" He asked although he wasn't Sure if he wanted to know the answer; had he really let it slip so easily? How could he have been so careless? Rei looked up in thought, trying to remember a late summer evening fifteen years ago.
"You must have been around four years old," she informed him, "you left to play with Ren in the garden and came back after only ten minutes, fuming," Rei laughed remembering his little face turn as red as his hair in frustration. "That girl, it's like she was made to unnerve you," Shoto nodded, sounds about right, he thought. "You were inconsolable, ranting about Ren constantly getting you in trouble, you shouted and stomped your feet and fell to the floor, folding your arms and pouting." Mother and son laughed at Rei's impeccable impression of a young Shoto. "And just when I thought you had finished you put your head in your hands and cried: I can't believe I have to marry her!"
Shoto felt the retreating blush in his cheeks come back in full force, the heat rising in his skin, flushing his face as he wanted to pull his tshirt up to his eyes and hide. He stared at the floor, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing where to look. "Please tell me you're making this up," he pleaded quietly but his mother was not relenting. She laughed at his reaction.
"I asked you what makes you think you have to marry her?" Shoto looked up at Rei, finding her amusement at his younger self infectious, a small, unwanted smile was tugging at his lips. "And you turned to me, completely serious, looking at me as though I were the one behaving unreasonably and you said: because she's the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
"I'm leaving," Shoto said suddenly, standing up, unable to take the embarrassment any longer but his unusual-for-Shoto but typical-for-a-teenager reaction made his mother laugh more.
"You loved to hate Ren and you hated that you loved her," Rei said, standing up to cup Shoto's face in his hands.
"I really have to go, there's this gala thing-"
"Okay," Rei said although she found it very difficult to stop laughing both at 4 year old and 19 year old Shoto. Rei's grey eyes narrowed on her son whose skin was warm, regardless of which side of him she was touching. She cleared her throat and asked seriously: "but is she still the prettiest thing you've ever seen, Shoto?"
"Bye mom," Shoto said flatly and picked up his bag, swinging it over his shoulder and embracing his mother quickly.
"Bring her to see me! I'm so happy you found one another again." Rei called as Shoto crossed the room and opened the door, he looked back at her; she looked genuinely happy, excited even.
"Okay," he nodded to her, feeling a warmth spread in his chest as his mother smiled brightly, "I will."
Before the door to her room even closed shut, Rei missed him. Shoto was still that same sweet, conflicted, strong, vulnerable child she remembered. Turning to her window she waited to watch him exit the building. She wondered if Ren was still the same little girl she remembered; was she still like her mother, or had she become more like her father? A more pressing matter, however, was the fact that Ren had broken the promise she had made as a child.