In the end and against my better judgment, I decided to join The Lady Min in finding the medicinal herbs, because knowing her, she would most likely cause more harm than good if left on her own to do something good in her life for once. "Did you really mean what you said just now? Who needs a man to survive in this world?" "Well, I would be a hypocrite to totally agree since I am only alive today due to my brother's care, but I only meant what I said in term son husband hunting. A woman can live perfectly well on her own without a man and all of the responsibilities that she has to fulfil on her end whilst men can still whore around despite the virtue of a woman who has to lave her family behind." "You do make a good point, even though it does go against Confucius laws itself. But we are not just talking about any men are we?" "I have no idea what you mean, My Lady…" "I think you do understand, and you do not at the same time. Other than Nam Seon-Ho, I shall never marry anyone else at all." "What about what you told me earlier? About following your sister's choice?" "I lied of course, do you nit understand me yet?" "Nam Seon-Ho isn't the only man in the world; I really wonder how a world of women who turned their backs on him and make his life hell in the past can be so obsessed with him now." "That isn't true! It was only because of his father that…" "Bullshit." "Excuse me?" "I know, I don't often use words of profanity, but I just can't help myself when it comes to such obvious lies. Rich or poor, nobleman or lowborn, Nam Seon-Ho is a halfbreed of the two classes who inherited his father's wealth after he was able to commit the act of patricide. And he has been flourishing in the palace and in life due to the man his father trained him to be, so how does your excuse make any sense at all?"
"…it was because of his humble birthright before that I could never express my love for him, but I have been watching him ever since his first day in the palace! And now you are both currently betrothed to different prospects respectively since heaven took pity on me and let us reunite at last. I am sure than even you cannot understand how thrilled I am now to finally marry the man that makes you scream so loudly at night…" "My Lady!" "…it feel like I am finally with someone who sees me and can rescue me just like how he always used to rescue you, although you were never grateful for it." "I have my reasons for that, even if nobody else understands that." "I suppose that you have no idea what it is like to use men every night and only have one in mind, to imagine what it would be like to…" "My Lady! Enough! I do no wish to hear this…" "and why is that? Is it because you do not really love him at all, but you don't want anyone else to have him either? Why? Do you think you are the only person in this life that can understand him? That can read what he wants? Even when he only thought about you the entire time he was on the battlefield!" "What did you just say?" "Did you know that there is his unfunded rumour going around that he was one of the ones in war that….take in male lovers? But he had them all dressed up like you and….and men fight to live in war! But it wasn't like that for him at all! Why are you so cruel to him! Do you have any idea how many women died loving him? And you couldn't even be bothered to treat him how he needed to be! But fret not, he has me now and I will make him scream in a way that you never have, Seo Yeon! I will love him and respect him how he deserved to be, and I can accept his bad side more than you ever could! I may not be chaste myself, but I have ever only loved one man…"
"Lady Min, what on earth did you say to him before the banquet when you pulled him aside? What did you say to him to turn him against me?" "The conversations that I have with my fiancé is between us, but I will still make you pay for everything that you made him put me through! And my sister! Our family clan is abolished as well as our allies! My father lays dead in a prison cell rotting from the plague because no physician would tend to him! Everyone sees my family as a joke and I know what you did when it came to The Mistress Han!"
"Is that so? Why don't you enlighten me on what exactly I did to a woman that I haven't spoken to in years?" "You knew about her affair with my brother-in-law, didn't you? And you told your bother, which sent her into a mad tailspin of revenge, only to ruin herself like you have ruined my sister! Now she has become insane and talks incoherently, my poor sister confines herself to her chambers and has further disrupted the peace of the palace because of The Mistress Han!" "Really? Who knew that her own actions would befall her, but I suppose this is what happens when you repress your own guilty conscious, the same goes with your sister. But that is what happens with educated women have no knowledge about the art of retreat, they get far to emotional and start falling into a hole that they cannot bring themselves out of due to their almost masculine-like pride." "The art of retreat? So you…that is why you extended your stay in the brothel for so long! Even when you could have easily found your way out of there! You knew that the longer that you stayed, the more the palace officials would become worried about you and…" "My Lady, I am afraid that you are not making any sense at all! Wasn't it your sister's goal to keep me as a kisaeng for the rest of my life? So people would have looked for me sooner or later, isn't that so?"
"You fucking bitch! You made my sister's own brothel become her undoing and you pushed The Mistress Han into the arms of my brother-in-law at the same time that would surely push my sister over the edge to make her make more mistakes than she has ever committed in her entire life! She was always such a meticulous person, that is what helped her create her fearsome reputation, which was the only thing that her husband valued…" "My Lady?" "That is it, isn't it? You made her loose all value in the eyes of her husband, which was the only thing that kept him from deposing her before! And the guests in the brothel! His concubines, his favourite ones…they met with you? You hosted the banquet…what are you planning now? You already took care of my sister and now you want to….to take down my brother-in-law? The only hope that my family has to rise again? And for what? Is the reason you want to take him down have anything to do with the fact that it was my sister who turned her husband against your father? Or is it the fact the first woman she was exceedingly jealous over wasn't any of her husband's mistresses, but it was your mother's reputation and beauty? That is why she had her pregnancy tonics poisoned? In all fairness, you were supposed to die with her and then Seon-Ho would have never met you at all, but you just have to survive and cause all of this chaos in our lives! And when you lived and your father was charged for his crime, well, wha else could my sister do but to give you the worst punishment that any girl could suffer from, such as a physical disability like epilepsy! A condition that was supposed to suppress your inherited beauty and intelligence for a lifetime!"
And there it was; every single form of pain, suffering and every humiliating fit that I had survived through was all due to irrevocable jealousy. My family's orphanage, poverty, starvation and constant humiliation had all been because of this single, stupid and unnecessary reason. My mother was beautiful, so beautiful that she had to die for beauty, which was also a reason that I had thought of before and it was the sole reason why I had lived so awkwardly and naively for almost 2 decades now. My family's life was completely ruined, and now that I had the confession that I had waited for, I wasn't going forgive anyone for this, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let The Lady Min walk out of this carriage alive so that she could open her big mouth and tell everything to everyone."
"Do you know that that the military physician that I haired for him in the war told me that to treat all of the marks that you left on him, he used medicine to make it more obvious! He is indifferent to every other woman apart from you! I am attached to The Royal Family, I am wiser and more experienced than you are, so why does he only think of you! The only way that I am going to have a happy marriage is if you no longer exist!" "Tell me what you did to make him hate me now! Tell me!" "I only showed him your rue and unfaithful colours! Because I would do anything for him! Even if it meant setting up my own father for failure so that he can get a head start in his rise in the palace that has been stunted because of you! But he still will not look at me as long as you still exist! So as long as I kill you, he will always think of me for it!"