Morning light filtered through the trees. Dex was lying on his back, staring at the clouds, trying to look cool.
Charmander was chewing on a burnt berry.
And Nidoran♀?
She was sitting on Dex's chest like a smug queen.
"Comfortable?" Dex asked, not moving.
"Very," she said, flicking her tail against his cheek. "You're warm. And squishy."
"I'm not squishy."
"You're a Ditto pretending to be a human. You're literally made of squish."
Dex pouted. "Rude."
She leaned closer, nose just inches from his. "You gonna transform again?"
"I don't just do it on command."
"I liked the blue version of you better. Less talk, more fluff."
Dex rolled his eyes. "I have layers, okay?"
Charmander snorted. "Yeah. Mostly goo."
Dex sat up, carefully letting Nidoran slide off his chest. She landed gracefully and stretched, her spikes gleaming in the sunlight.
"You know," she said, circling him again, "if you're gonna keep pretending to be human, you should at least learn how to flirt like one."
"I am flirting," Dex said.
Charmander muttered, "No. You're dying."
Dex ignored him. He reached into his bag and pulled out his newly acquired Pokégear. He had swiped it off a careless kid they passed on the road. Don't ask how. Ditto hands are sneaky.
"Check it out," he said, flipping it open. "Now I can call people. Like a real trainer."
Nidoran hopped up on a rock and tilted her head. "Can you call me a handsome male Nidoran?"
"…That feels like a trap."
"It is."
She smirked.
Dex sighed and looked at the map on the Pokégear. "Alright. Nearest town's Viridian. If we hurry, we can make it before sundown."
"Are there any trainers there?" Nidoran asked.
"Probably."
"Good," she said, her eyes glinting. "I want to show off."
Dex blinked. "Show off?"
"I want you to watch me beat someone down," she purred. "And then you can tell me how impressive I looked."
Dex tried not to melt. "You're… a lot."
She walked past him, brushing against his leg. "You're lucky I think goo is cute."
Charmander leaned in. "Do you understand what's happening right now?"
"No," Dex whispered.
"She's courting you."
Dex's brain blue-screened for a second.
"Wait—me?! But I'm— I mean I'm not even— I don't—"
"Too late," Charmander said. "She's already decided."
Dex turned, only to find Nidoran perched on his bag like it was her personal throne.
"Let's go," she said, tail swaying. "You've got a queen to escort."
Dex swallowed.
This was getting dangerously close to being a weird love story.
And he had no idea if he was winning or being hunted.
___
Viridian City was louder than Dex expected. There were trainers everywhere—kids showing off shiny Poké Balls, old men yelling about coffee, and a Machop trying to juggle groceries while its trainer argued with a cashier.
Dex was doing his best to look casual. Human casual. Which meant walking stiffly, sweating too much, and nodding at everyone like he was a background character.
Charmander whispered, "You look like you're about to rob a Pokémart."
"I'm blending in," Dex hissed.
"You're twitching like a Grimer in a thunderstorm."
Nidoran♀ strolled beside them like she owned the sidewalk. She had a confident bounce in her step, her tail flicking like a metronome of mischief.
"Act natural," Dex muttered.
"I am natural," she said. "You're the goo pretending to have bones."
Before Dex could fire back, a voice called out behind them.
"Hey! You! You got a Poké Ball belt—you a trainer?"
Dex turned. A boy maybe a year younger than him jogged over, grinning and puffing out his chest like he was on a magazine cover. He had spiky brown hair, bright green sneakers, and way too much confidence.
"I'm Travis!" he declared. "I challenge you to a battle!"
Dex blinked. "I... what?"
"It's your first day, isn't it?" Travis said. "I can tell. You've got that nervous, lost-in-the-world aura. Don't worry. I'll go easy."
Dex's ego flared.
He stood up straighter, adjusting his belt. "You know what? Fine. One battle."
Charmander stepped forward.
Nidoran♀ shoved him back. "Not today, fireball."
"Oh no," Charmander whispered. "She's going to perform."
They stepped into a side lot where a chalk circle marked a casual battle arena.
Travis tossed his ball. "Go! Spearow!"
A flapping, angry blur screeched into the sky.
Dex took a deep breath. "Nidoran♀, you're up!"
She strutted forward like she was walking a red carpet.
"Alright!" Travis said. "Spearow, Peck attack!"
The bird dived.
"Dodge left!" Dex called.
Nidoran didn't dodge. She spun, letting the Spearow's attack pass inches from her flank before slamming her horn upward into its belly. Spearow squawked and tumbled into the dirt.
"Double Kick!" Dex said.
She didn't need the order—she was already in motion. Her hind legs thudded against the Spearow before it could get up, sending it spinning like a broken top.
Travis paled. "Spearow, return!"
Dex exhaled. "We won?"
Nidoran walked back, tail high, smugness dripping from her every step. She hopped into Dex's arms and curled there like it was her throne.
"Well," she purred. "Did I look impressive?"
Dex was speechless.
She leaned in, nose brushing his neck. "Say it."
"You… looked incredible," he mumbled.
She smirked. "That's better."
Travis walked over, blinking. "What kind of training did you do with her?"
"Uh," Dex said. "Mostly emotional bonding."
Charmander, deadpan: "And mild flirting."
Dex elbowed him.
Travis nodded, amazed. "Whatever it is, it's working. You're gonna be a strong rival."
As he walked off, Nidoran licked Dex's cheek.
"Wha—what was that?"
"Victory kiss," she said simply.
"I—uh—I…"
Charmander patted his leg. "Welcome to your awkward romantic Pokémon journey, buddy."
Dex stared at the sky.
He'd wanted to become a Pokémon Master.
Now he was being seduced by his own team.
And somehow… he wasn't even mad about it.