Chapter 3
Apricity Shae Buenavista
Two months have passed since I last saw him, and his image continues to haunt my thoughts. I haven't seen him at the restaurant where I work.
It was Sunday today, my day off from work. I was doing laundry because I had nothing left to wear. I was washing clothes outside the house since the faucet was there. We didn't have a washing machine, so I washed everything by hand. It was still early, but I needed to finish the laundry so I could just cook our lunch later.
While I was scrubbing the white clothes, I heard Mama's shout.
"ASHA!!" I stood up and approached her.
I saw that she was dressed to go out, so I was sure she was going to the casino again.
"What is it, Ma?" I asked. I wiped my wet hands on my clothes.
"I'm leaving now, but I have something to ask of you. Someone will come here, and if they look for me, give them this." She handed me a brown envelope.
I took it and looked at her questioningly.
"What is this, Ma?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes at me.
"Can you just not ask so many questions?! I'm leaving. Remember what I told you!" she said dismissively.
I just let her be and waited for her to leave before I went inside the house and placed the brown envelope on the table.
I went back outside to continue doing my laundry.
When I finished washing and hanging the clothes, I went back inside the house and went straight to the kitchen to cook.
I didn't have time to rest because it was already noon, and I was also hungry.
Good thing I was able to go grocery shopping thanks to my earnings from work. It was a big help so we would have something to eat.
The aroma of simmering sinigang (a sour and savory Filipino soup) filled the kitchen as I began the cooking process. First, I gently simmered the pork until it was tender, allowing the rich flavors to slowly meld. While the pork cooked, I meticulously prepared the other ingredients, ensuring each vibrant vegetable was perfectly sliced and ready for the pot.
Once the pork was suitably tender, I carefully added the vegetables, each one contributing its own unique hue and flavor to the simmering broth. The kitchen buzzed with activity as the fragrant broth bubbled, the tantalizing scent of tamarind and tomatoes filling the air. Finally, after a slow, deliberate cooking process, the sinigang was ready.
I tasted it first, and as I savored the first spoonful, the complex flavors danced on my tongue.
I also washed the dishes after eating. While I was washing, someone suddenly called from outside, so I went to check who it was.
I saw a man in his mid-50s, and he looked like a bodyguard.
It was so hot, yet he was wearing a three-piece suit, which was why I thought he looked like a bodyguard. He was also big.
If I angered him, he might suddenly slam me against the wall.
"Good afternoon, miss. Are you Shanelle Buenavista?" the man asked. I shook my head.
This must be the person Mama was talking about.
"Ah, no, sir. I'm her daughter. Do you need something from her?" I asked.
He might not be the right person after all. Mama might scold me if I gave what she asked me to give to the wrong person.
"Did she say something to you? Or perhaps, leave something before she left?" I knew it, he was the one Mama mentioned.
"Oh, yes, she did. Just a moment, sir, and I'll get it," I said before turning around and walking towards the living room.
After getting the brown envelope that Mama asked me to give, I immediately went outside and saw the man looking around our house.
When he noticed me, he immediately stood up straight.
"Is this it?" I asked, handing him the envelope. He took it.
"Yes. Thank you, miss. I'll go now," he said and left.
That was weird.
I just ignored it and went back to washing the dishes. When I finished, I went to my room to rest.
As soon as I lay down, only a few minutes passed before I immediately fell asleep from exhaustion.
I woke up to the splash of cold water on my face, so I immediately sat up on my bed, gasping for breath.
I saw Mama looking at me angrily while holding a small bucket.
"SON OF A BITCH, ASHA!!! DON'T JUST LIE AROUND THERE AND COOK ALREADY BECAUSE I'M STARVING!!!" she shouted at me while pulling my hair, making me stand up abruptly.
"M-Ma, it h-hurts," I groaned while holding the hand that was pulling my hair.
"YOU REALLY WILL GET HURT, ASHA!! I'M SO TIRED, AND THIS IS ALL I FIND?!" she hissed angrily at me.
She threw my hair away, causing me to stumble and hit the door of my room. I cried because of the pain.
Another new wound.
"I-I'm sorry, M-Ma. There's still some l-leftover food from l-lunch earlier," my face turned to the side when I received a slap from Mama.
"WHAT?! DOES IT LOOK LIKE I EAT LEFTOVERS, ASHA?! MY GOD!! WHY DID I HAVE A CHILD LIKE YOU?!" she exclaimed before leaving my room.
I cried at what she said.
Would I always experience this?
Not only was my body giving up, but my mind and heart were also so tired of my situation.
I stood up from where I had fallen on the floor, but I groaned in pain from my arm. I looked at it and saw a wound there.
I immediately went into the bathroom and cleaned my wound.
I was still sobbing.
It hurt so much to know that Mama regretted having me as her child.
Why did they even bring me into this world?
Just a few more pushes, and I would give up, but I thought, what about Mama? She would be left alone here.
Even though my mother had that kind of attitude, I still couldn't bear to leave her alone.
I didn't want her to feel alone again. It was better for me to get hurt than for my loved ones to suffer.
I would endure it.
But Mama, I knew she wasn't okay. It hurt to be left by someone you loved. I could feel the pain Mama felt during the times Papa left us.
I sighed after cleaning my wound. I also stopped crying and washed my face.
I went out and headed to the kitchen. I still saw Mama watching TV in the living room.
She didn't pay any attention to me.
When was the last time she paid normal attention to me?
I cooked another dish for Mama. I didn't cook for myself anymore since there was still some sinigang left from earlier.
When I finished cooking, I called Mama to eat.
"Ma, let's eat," I called out to her. I heard her turn off the TV.
I set the table, and just as I was about to sit down, Mama spoke.
"Who said you could eat with me?" she asked in a cold voice.
I stopped and stood up straight with a pang in my chest.
"Get out of my sight. Your face is annoying," she said.
My eyes immediately turned red, and tears threatened to fall, so I just excused myself to Mama, saying I would just stay in my room. She rolled her eyes at me and started eating.
As soon as I entered my room, as usual, I lay down again and covered myself with the blanket. Here, the tears that had been threatening to fall finally flowed freely.
When was the last time Mama and I ate together?
I was still a child. I smiled bitterly before closing my eyes and letting the tears I had been holding back finally streaming down.
As soon as I entered my room, as usual, I lay down again and covered myself with the blanket. Here, the tears that had been threatening to fall finally flowed freely.
When was the last time Mama and I ate together?
I was still a child.
I smiled bitterly before closing my eyes and letting the tears I had been holding back finally stream down.