Every day I feel it. The weight of everything unsaid, everything left in silence.
I can see the end coming. I can feel it in the air—like the last few days of summer before everything changes. The days slip by, faster and faster, and I can't stop them. I can't stop the inevitable.
There's something about the way she looks at the class now. I don't know if it's my imagination or if she's really different, but I can't shake the feeling that she knows. That she's starting to see the way I look at her. Not with admiration, not with respect, but with something else. Something too raw, too desperate. Something she would never want to see.
I catch her eyes sometimes, but now, when she looks away so quickly, it feels like she's avoiding me. And that hurts more than anything. I think about it all the time—how she must feel when she notices me staring, when she catches me lingering. I'm just another student to her. Another face in a sea of anonymous faces. But to me, she's everything.
I watch her as she moves across the classroom, her soft voice carrying through the room, and I want to scream. To tell her everything. To beg her to see me. But I know I won't. I can't. I never will.
Every day, I get closer to the end of this. To graduation. To leaving the school and never seeing her again. I can feel it creeping up on me, like a shadow that I can't escape. And I'm terrified. Terrified of the moment when I will walk out of that door, knowing I'll never have another chance. Terrified of never telling her how I feel. Terrified that I've wasted all this time hoping for something that was never meant to be.
The hardest part is knowing that I'll never tell her. That I'll never be able to look her in the eyes and say the words that have been sitting in my chest, choking me every single day. "I love you."
But what good would it do? What could I possibly say that would change anything? She's not mine. She'll never be mine. And in the end, I'll walk away from all of this with nothing but a memory of a woman I could never have.
I know it's coming. Graduation. The last day. The day when everything ends. The day when I finally walk out of her life for good.
And the worst part is, I don't even know if she'll notice.