Spoiler: I'm screwed.But not the "oops, I lost my wallet" kind.No.The "a god tattooed itself into my soul without consent and now I'm having nightmares with cosmic DRM" kind.
That's how I woke up.Heart in low-battery mode.Mouth dry.Clothes soaked in cold sweat.And that unmistakable feeling of having been spiritually hijacked during REM sleep.
Perfect.
Quick reality check:✔ Magical tattoos: active.✔ Cursed diamonds: in my pocket.✔ Sanity: laugh track intensifies.✔ Pyramid: DELETED LIKE A CONTROVERSIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT.
—
I got up with the energy of a depressed cat.Went downstairs.
The guide was there, of course. Smoking like the universe had a bet on how fast he could destroy his lungs before the gods did it first.
He looked at me.I looked at him.The silence was so thick you could cut it with a plastic spoon.
I opened my mouth.
"The pyramid…"
He:"It's gone."
Pa–fucking–zow.Just like that.No anesthesia.Like heartbreak, but with bad coffee and a side of existential dread.
"What do you mean it's gone?"
"I went this morning. There was nothing.No entrance.No shadows.No guilt.Just sand... and that smell."
"What does deleted reality smell like?"
"Like a broken patch.Like a bug.Like 'oops, God hit CTRL+Z on your existence.'"
—
I went back up to my room.Didn't run.But I didn't walk with confidence either.That awkward walk like: "please don't kill me yet, at least let me put on pants."
Closed the door.Took a deep breath.And saw it.
The mirror.
My reflection smiled.I didn't.
AH.
—
I ripped off my shirt.Not for sex appeal.For panic.
The tattoos were still there.The pyramid.The Eye.And now… I swear the Eye was moving.
Yes.It blinked.IT BLINKED AT ME.
"Great. Now I have eye contact with a symbol. So this is what the Illuminati feel like."
I approached the diamonds.Four.Gleaming.Beautiful.Ready to screw me over.
One began to vibrate.
"No, buddy. Not today. I don't need another ancestral trauma flashback before breakfast."
I touched it.Of course I did.Because if something glows, buzzes, and screams "DON'T TOUCH ME," I'm the guy who touches it.That's my entire brand.
BOOM.
—
Mental flash.Color: "You're Doomed."
A city appeared.Or what was left of one.Floating ruins.Broken statues.And a gate made of bone, as if designed by an architect possessed by emo poetry.
The word was clear:NOR'MAKT.
And me:"Oh, lovely. My next stop: Chernobyl but make it demonic Hogwarts."
The tattoo burned.Literally.Like it had Wi-Fi and just received a newsletter:
"Hi Renji, thanks for unlocking the first seal. Here's your personalized apocalypse.Warm regards,The Eye."
—
I woke up.Again.On the floor.As usual.Shaking like a jelly with social anxiety.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Still with us?" asked the guide.
"With who? The living? Humans? People who still believe in physics?"
"Answer something simple.Are you still Renji?"
"I think so.But I need a software update."
—
I went downstairs.
The guide looked at me.Said nothing.Just lit another cigarette.If I ever die, that cigarette will be my last memory. I hate it.
"I saw NOR'MAKT," I said.
He nodded."First coordinate. First door. First irreversible mistake."
"So you're saying we're heading to a place that might kill me, drive me insane, or fuse me with a lamp made of lost souls, right?"
"Correct."
"And we're going tomorrow?"
"At dawn."
"Why always at dawn? Can't it be at noon with brunch and existential cocktails?"
"Monsters rest better during the day.And you… you're gonna need every damn second of sunlight."
—
I didn't sleep that night.Because every time I closed my eyes,the Eye stared at me from the inside.
And every time I opened them…the mirror smiled,like it already knew the ending.
Spoiler:I don't know the ending.But when NOR'MAKT opens…my story will change genres.And I'll be there.With sarcasm.With fear.And probably without pants.