And I, perhaps for the first time that evening, obeyed with relief. He probably just saved my life. Or from an unpleasant conversation. It's unclear if what I'm claiming was true. I'm afraid it wasn't. Very much not. The next thing I remember is the cold leather seat of the car. I just stared out the window. In my mind, everything that happened that evening still echoed – the ruler's gaze, the general's words, that reckless moment when I almost... when I really kissed him. But we weren't heading to the academy. As time passed, I realized the buildings were becoming more unfamiliar. Instead of the usual route, we were heading in a different direction. Later, I recognized it. It was the castle. Does he live here?... The room was huge, yet cozy. The walls were lined with bookshelves filled with old, heavy volumes. The fire crackled quietly in the fireplace, radiating warmth into the stone walls. It wasn't very cold outside, but the air could cool down, especially inside. The bed I sat on was enormous, too big for just one person to use. The general sat across from me in a chair, watching silently. I tried to pull the blanket over myself, as if I could hide behind it, as if it could conceal everything I felt. Then he spoke.
"How do you feel?"
His voice was different than usual. Not commanding, not distant. Just... sincere. I looked up at him, and I saw that he was genuinely waiting for an answer.
"I don't know," I whispered softly.
His gaze was searching, but not intrusive.
"Actually... I fully expected them to take my life."
The words just spilled out of me.
"But what I experienced was much stranger."
The general didn't interrupt, he let me speak. For the first time, I felt like he was really listening to me. And I couldn't hold back the question that had been nagging at me since I came to.
"They didn't take the one-year salary from the dark-clad ones, did they?"
The general didn't answer for a moment. As if the question surprised him. Then a faint, almost imperceptible smile crossed his face.
"You look like someone who's been knocked out. You're talking nonsense, but at least you're in control of yourself a little now."
He leaned back in the chair.
"Probably, what they did to you was worse than if they had simply put you to sleep. Your confusion couldn't even be painted, you're so scattered... And what's your first question? Whether they took away others' salaries?"
He let out a deep sigh.
"Don't worry. They didn't take it from them. Why, I don't know myself."
His voice softened for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out the answer himself.
"But it's possible that you contributed to this."
My gaze snapped towards him, but I still didn't dare look him in the eye.
"Regardless..." he continued softly, "you'll still face your own punishment for this. Tomorrow we're heading to a rather desolate area."
Then he fell silent for a moment. Our gazes connected, and now I couldn't tear my eyes away from his.
"But I'll look after you. Everyone. That's my duty!"
For a long, silent moment, we just looked at each other. Then, as I was about to lie back to finally end this conversation, the general suddenly, almost inaudibly... laughed. Laughed. I looked at him in surprise. It wasn't a mocking laugh, it wasn't cold or calculating. It was simple, pure, and sudden, as if he himself was surprised by it.
"What's so funny?" I asked cautiously.
He was still smiling, but there was a peculiar glint in his eyes.
"Nothing," he shook his head, but the smile remained on his lips. "I just... I really can't decide if you're one of the craziest people I've ever met, or if I am, for still being here with you."
And with that, he stood up, as if with that sentence he had closed the evening. And I lay there, wrapped in the blanket, and for the first time that evening, I felt that maybe... just maybe... I wasn't completely alone. As if a void had been filled by his presence. And then I understood something about life. That when we lose consciousness, when we drift, when we search for someone to belong to, it's an indescribably good feeling if someone fills that void. If someone considers us important and stands up for us. But of course, this is also just a temporary state. Our true destination, our soulmate is irreplaceable. Then we became aware of a noise. The general started towards the door, and I, still in a slightly dazed state, flinched under the blanket. He gestured with one hand that I could follow him. The noise came from downstairs, and as I looked down, I saw familiar figures, the arrogant lady giving instructions to the dark-clad ones with determined movements. She pointed to the weapons with her hand, her voice sharp and demanding.
"These here," she commanded. "Those there. Prepare them for the morning, then we'll take them up. Everything must be perfect!"
Another female voice spoke, softer, calmer.
"This could have waited until morning, Dahlia."
The addressed sister didn't hesitate for a moment, her movements remained unwavering.
"No, sister. This needs to be taken care of now."
The work continued uninterrupted until one of them looked up and saw us at the top of the stairs. The attention slowly spread to the others as well. The general calmly started down, but I remained motionless. Dahlia's gaze narrowed as she looked at me.
"What's she doing here?" she asked, her voice tense with cool suspicion.
The kinder woman smiled and greeted softly,
"Hello, my child."
Before I could reply, I heard footsteps. The ruler's figure slowly emerged in the light, his movements light, yet everything was filled with that measured strength that radiated from him. He stopped, and with his cool gaze, he surveyed the scene. He stood before me at the top of the stairs.
"What's she doing here?" he asked, but not me, rather the general.
The general straightened up, almost imperceptibly. Then he walked over to me.
"We're leaving in the morning anyway, and we'll be leaving from here, she's in an unpredictable state," he replied simply.
The ruler scanned the room, then spoke with an icy edge:
"That kiss seems to have been effective."
His words almost cut into me. I physically felt the weight of the gazes on me. The general didn't waver for a moment, and for the first time, I heard him address the ruler like this:
"Your Majesty."
The air vibrated between them. The ruler's eyes narrowed, but the general continued:
"You know I respect every step you take. But don't forget that I'm also of royal lineage. You have no right to scandalize someone I invited to myself."
The words sliced through the space like a sharp blade.
"Or to think ill of her," he added, and although he didn't raise his voice, its weight pressed heavily on those present.
The ruler's eyes flashed.
"And don't forget that you're my subordinate," he replied with icy calm. "I don't interfere in your private life. But you also know well that having a subordinate here doesn't reflect well on you."
The general didn't reply. An invisible tension pulsed between the two men. For a moment, it seemed as if something unspoken also hung between them, something neither of them wanted to say. Finally, the ruler made a small gesture to the dark-clad ones to continue their work, then turned on his heel and left. The general took a step back, then turned to me.
"Let's go," he said softly.
We returned to the room we had come from. The general closed the door, then spoke in a calm but firm voice:
"You don't have to be alone."
For a moment, I stood silently, not knowing what to say. My thoughts were still revolving around the scene that had just unfolded. I wanted to apologize. For everything that happened tonight. I wasn't in control of myself.
"You can stay here," he added, his voice sounding softer for the first time.
I nodded silently, then sat on the edge of the bed. The general didn't say anything more, just sat in one of the chairs. We remained like that – in the silence, which wasn't oppressive, just filled with unspoken words.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, trembling, deeply wrapped in the blanket.
But at least I said it. He deserved my respect.
"You weren't yourself," he said in a strangely soothing voice, then continued quietly but firmly as he walked towards the door.
"If you need anything, I'll be in the room across. In four hours, we'll gather in the great hall. And one more thing," he looked deeply into my eyes. "It won't be an easy task. Fear raises a barrier. Get used to it!"
Then he closed the door behind him. I was afraid. Yes. But was he right? Yes. But what reassured me was that I wasn't alone. He didn't let the wind just blow me away. That gave me strength. To now steer the wind myself.