Watch the dancing embers closely
Isolate the moments and watch them lonely
Concentrate and catch the magic only
Falling in the eyes of people who think they're holy
Pursuing and then failing at it mostly
Caressing the heights with my head in the clouds
My thoughts, few polite and few aloud
To never open in front of anyone I had vowed
With this, the seeds of self hate i sowed
To my selfish needs, I had bowed
Someone should've stopped me, this shouldn't have been allowed.
While I sit here and think about the decision
I think I might be wrong with small precision
Its causing the bleeding of my own self a wrong incision
Maybe I had no right to put myself under this restriction
I have to write a new identity and a new description
My shoulder, hanging my self esteem low
Trying but never able to consistently enter the state of flow
My movements ,sluggish and my thoughts, slow
How can I fix myself I wanted to know
Complete cold world out there, I have to crawl through snow
They said I had lost myself in the sound
They banished me, I had lost my crown
Everywhere I saw the face with the frown
The hole ridden respect I wore an invisible pure gown
To me I am just another name another noun
There's a method in my madness
There's some logic in my sadness
While I submerge inside my blackness
From order to chaos to order
Inside my own dungeon a creation of horror
To the great monster that resides in my cell around the corner
Though I was not left with any hope
I wish to wash my flaws clean with soap
I'll endure the misery and write my own trope
I'll be the storm that will approach
All the dark lands that I'll encroach