The kiss lingers on my lips like a blazing imprint, bold and lasting, as Austin pulls away just enough to break it, his forehead still touching mine. His breathing is quick and irregular, blending with mine in the tight space that separates us, and I sense the quiver in his hands. One continues to clasp my hip through the smooth satin of my nightgown, while the other is caught in my hair at the back of my neck. My fingers twist into his shirt, holding the material as if it's the only anchor keeping me steady. The room lies in shadow, the atmosphere heavy with the aroma of cedar, wine, and a raw energy we have set loose, and for an instant, we both stay still, locked in the wake of that explosive moment.
I refuse to release him. I do not want this to fade, not the warmth of his frame against mine, not the way his gaze, deep and restless, cuts into me as though truly noticing me for the first time. Yet I can already detect a change in him, the strain growing sharper, the struggle between desire and control sparking anew. His hold on me eases just a little, and I realize he is about to step away to reconstruct the barrier I have been dismantling for months.
"Please don't…" I beg… my voice hoarse and faint above the rapid thumping in my chest. My hand moves to his jaw, my thumb grazing the prickly stubble, coarse beneath my touch.
"Don't you dare turn your back on this now."
He lets out a trembling breath, A blend of a groan and a surrender, and his eyes close briefly as if he is attempting to pull himself together.
"Aurora…" he mutters, my name a rough whisper that ripples through me.
"We shouldn't. I can't go through with this."
"You already have" I reply, stepping closer until our forms press together, leaving no space between us. The satin of my gown brushes his shirt, a subtle rub that steals my breath, and I notice his muscles stiffen under my hands, his determination unraveling bit by bit.
"You are standing here. You kissed me. You can't act like that did not happen."
His eyes flick open, a fleeting spark of something, maybe regret or discomfort, fading into the heat still radiating there.
"You don't see it." he says, his tone tight, his hand falling from my hair to my shoulder as if to keep me at a distance.
"This is not only about us.''
''What do you mean by that? I am here, you are here, the night belongs to only us.''
''There is Delilah, in my bedroom, waiting for me.''
"Enough!" I snap, my voice firm, my grip on his jaw tightening to hold his eyes on mine.
"Don't drag her in here, not at this moment, not in my bedroom! Don't mention her with those lips right after you pressed them against mine! I do not deserve this. This is about you and me, Austin, always has been."
He gazes at me, his chest heaving too rapidly, and I perceive the chaos within him, how he hovers between surrender and retreat. His hand on my hip shifts, fingers pressing just enough to send a thrill through me, and I bite my lip to muffle the noise itching to break free. I need him to sense it too, the draw, the lusting, the force that's been provoking me since he first entered this house with his calm strength and maddening reserve.
"Do you think I am blind to that?" he says at last.
His voice is deep and gritty as if pulled from him unwillingly.
"Do you think I have not noticed it every time you are close, every time your eyes catch mine like that?"
"Then why resist?" I ask, tilting forward until my lips hover near his once more, near enough to feel his warmth and recall the taste of that kiss. I close my eyes desperately to let this moment fulfill me, to go with the flow of the moment.
"Why keep acting like you do not crave this as much as I do?" I whisper.
"Because it is not right." he bites out, though the words lack strength, and his hand glides up my side, slow and careful, following the line of my waist through the satin. The contact sends tingles across my skin, and I can't stop my body from leaning into it, seeking more.
"You are, you are part of the family, Aurora. We should not."
"Step family!" I clarify, my voice steady, my hand sliding to his chest to feel the swift pounding of his heart under my palm.
''You did not even know that I was exist until four years ago, Austin. Just because your uncle is married to my aunt, four years ago, do we being called family? Are you really my cousin Austin? We did not even grove up together.''
"My anger is about to turn into something concrete and alive, so much so that it has almost become the third wheel in this room.
''And that is just a pretext. You have relied on it to push me away, but it is failing now, not tonight."
He lets out a groan, a vibration that echoes through me, and his hand squeezes my waist, drawing me nearer even as he shakes his head.
"You are making this unbearable." he mumbles as he thinks that he is only talking to himself. His forehead settling against mine again, his breath warm on my lips.
"I am trying to do what is proper."
"Really? What is proper?" I scoff, the sound quiet and sharp, sticking in my throat. Here's a paraphrased version with corrected grammar and punctuation:
"And proper for whom? For her, for Caitlyn, or for you, so you can avoid confronting what has been haunting you since you got here?"
He eases back enough to meet my eyes, his stare probing mine, and I see the inner battle, how he grapples with himself.
"You don't realize what you are pushing me to gamble." he says, his voice softer but still fierce.
"If we, if this moves forward, there is no retreat, not for me."
"Fine…" I reply, my tone even despite the tempest swirling within me.
"I do not want to retreat. I am weary of faking it, Austin, weary of seeing you with her, weary of pretending I do not ache every time you are around."
His jaw tightens, and for a second, I think he'll protest and raise another defense. But then his hand moves up my back, fingers spreading broad against my spine, and he pulls me close again, his lips lingering above mine without contact.
Here's a paraphrased version with corrected grammar and punctuation:
"You will be my downfall…" he whispers; a disclosure, a warning, and a vow all combined.
"Perhaps." I breathe, my hands climbing to his shoulders and clutching the cloth there.
"But you will be mine too, and I am fine with it."
The air between us vibrates, charged with tension, and I sense his heat, the way his body is tense and ready to snap. His lips graze mine again, soft as a whisper this time, a tease that sends a shiver through me. I press toward it, seeking more, but he retreats just enough to leave me longing, his breath uneven against my skin.
"Make me stop…" he literally begs.
His voice a deep rumble, his hand firming on my back.
"Tell me to go, and I will."
I shake my head, my fingers pressing into his shoulders.
"Really? Will you?''
He cannot even open his eyes. Just stands there still, presses his forehead against mine. His whole body shouts that he cannot and he won't but he weakly whispers ''Yes…''
''Really? If you say so…'' I say to calculate his actions and all I can see is his fear and this comfort after my bluff.
''No, I won't. I have waited too long for this."
I can see his relief after that answer. He swears softly, a harsh and uneven sound, and then his hands shift. One moves down to my hip, and the other trails up to my neck, his thumb brushing where my pulse races. It is rapid, a rhythm he can sense, and I know he is Interpreting every pulse, every hint my body offers. I feel his lips against my pulse, deeply pressing and inhaling a deep breath. That changes the beat of my heart. That is such a lustful yet tender act to do. I angle my head, offering more, and his lips presses harder, a quiet recognition of the control he wields here.
"You are a blazing tempest." he mumbles as I feel his lips moving against my skin. It slightly tickles but I am far far away from laughing. Then I feel his lips slightly moving to my jaw, following a trail too slow and too precise, and it is pushing me to the edge.
"I should have known I could not keep away."
"Then stay."
I say, my voice quaking with the effort to hold steady. My hands glide down his chest, fingers hooking into his shirt again and pulling him closer.
"Stay right here with me."
He draws back just enough to look at me, his eyes shadowy and liquid, and I see the craving there, the urge he has battled for years. His hand on my hip adjusts, fingers slipping beneath my gown's hem to touch the bare skin of my thigh, and I inhale sharply, the sound escaping before I can catch it. His touch burns, coursing through me, and I feel it spark something fierce inside, something I have smothered beneath layers of caution.
"Aurora…" he says, my name a caution now, and his fingers linger, poised there and challenging us both.
"If I don't stop now..."
"Don't!"
I interrupt, my voice keen and urgent.
"Don't stop, not yet."
He groans once more, and then his lips press to my neck, warm and pressing, mapping my pulse with an accuracy that softens my knees. My head tips back, wanting more, and my hands clamp his shoulders harder, steadying myself against the rush of feeling overwhelming me. His breath is rough against my skin, his teeth brushing lightly enough to thrill me, and I sense the control in him, how he is restraining himself even still.
"You are crumbling me…" he whispers against my throat, his voice muted, and his hand climbs higher, fingers spreading across my thigh, warm and claiming.
"You have been unwinding me since I have arrived."
"Fine…" I manage, my voice airy, my body curving into his touch.
"You have earned it."
He chuckles, a deep and rugged sound that hums against my skin, and then he pulls back again, his hands still on me but his lips lifting from my neck. I let out a soft cry at the absence, the sound unbidden, and he looks at me, his eyes fierce and his chest rising fast.
"You are overwhelming." he says, shaking his head as if to shake off the spell. "Overwhelming and yet not enough."
"Then claim more." I say, stepping nearer and closing the space he has tried to carve. My hands rise to his face, cradling his jaw, and I draw him down until our foreheads meet again. "Claim whatever you desire. I am right here."
His hands grip me tighter, one on my thigh and the other on my back, and for an instant, I think he will kiss me again to release whatever still binds him. But then he steps back entirely, his hands falling to his sides. The sudden absence of his touch startles me, cold and unexpected, and I stumble forward a step before regaining my balance.
"Austin…" I begin, my voice is unsteady, but he raises a hand and stops me.
"I cannot…'' he says, his voice rough, his eyes fixed on mine.
"Not like this, not tonight."
"Why not?" I press, advancing toward him again, my hands balling at my sides.
"You are here. You want this. I feel it. Don't say you don't."
"God damn Aurora, I do! Look at yourself, who wouldn't? I cannot call myself a man, if I don't. God damn! God damn Aurora, I do more than anything in this world!''
His whispered confession is filled with anger, desperation, and a silent scream…
"Heaven help me, I do, but she is, she is down there, in my bedroom Aurora, and I'm not, I'm not ready to shatter everything, not yet."
I stare at him, my chest constricted, my breath racing. I can feel that I am at the edge of letting my tears down.
"So what? You will just leave and go to sleep with her with me staying like that in the next door? And act like this has never happened?"
"No." he says, shaking his head, his hands twitching as if resisting the urge to reach for me again.
"I can't act anymore, but I need, I need time to sort this out."
"Time?" I repeat with a questionnaire tone. The word feels sour in my mouth.
"You already have had years, Austin. How much longer do you need? And what are you doing with her in the first place, anyway. If you desire what I desire, what did you bring her here in the first place, under my roof?"
He does not reply and simply watches me, his face conflicted, and I see the burden there, the guilt, the desire, the dread of what this might bring.
"I'm sorry…" he says at last, his voice just above a whisper, and then he turns and heads for the door.
"Don't!" I say, moving after him, my hand stretching out but halting short. "Don't leave me this way."
He stops, his hand on the knob, and glances back at me, his eyes dark and unreadable.
"I am not abandoning you." he says, and there's a vow in it, faint but true.
"I just, I can't remain, not now."
''Not now? There is only one thing about ''now'' Austin. If you go behind that door ''now'' you will never ever get this close to me. If you go to sleep next to her tonight, I will go and find a guy for myself, this very night and I am sure he will take this opportunity that you are playing with back and forward like a yoyo, gladly. And I am sure, he will not even tire me as much as you do. He will not pretend that he does not want me at all while he has a burning desire for me. I have ''now or never card'' against your ''not now card'' and I am not bluffing Austin. Make the choice that you can handle the consequences of.''
I challenge him as he grips the doorknob, hesitating, his gaze piercing mine to gauge if I'm a woman of my word. And in that suspended silence, the room holds its breath, waiting for the fracture that will either bind us or break us forever.